tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2201165796329163117.post2923226408097820872..comments2023-10-10T03:57:29.110-07:00Comments on Razing Ruth: Countown to schoolRazing Ruthhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04854418022850278216noreply@blogger.comBlogger74125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2201165796329163117.post-19498900724971530652010-08-19T20:51:08.311-07:002010-08-19T20:51:08.311-07:00Anon - While I agree with your general idea of bei...Anon - While I agree with your general idea of being honest, I think that you're being disingenuous yourself by not having the courage to post under an account. You have an opinion, fine. But have the backbone to stand up for yourself and not hide under anonymity. <br /><br />I don't know what you're thinking goes in dorms that Ruth will have to handle, it sound as though you're envisioning life-changing problems that she's going to have to navigate students through. More likely, she'll have to knock on doors and tell people to keep it down. Maybe take down inappropriate posters, or at worst, deal with petty theft of shampoo from the showers. I imagine that Ruth will not be the absent, drunk, noisy RA that I often had on my floor. Out of three years of dorm life, I only met one responsible RA. Is Ruth greatly experienced in life? No. Are most college students? No. Can Ruth handle noisy and/or drunk students? Yeah, I think so. Give her some credit.Tae_Ki_Girlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02823742349810916837noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2201165796329163117.post-45996482083927947092010-08-17T22:39:08.396-07:002010-08-17T22:39:08.396-07:00As a former RA, I can tell you what I dealt with o...As a former RA, I can tell you what I dealt with on a daily basis:<br /><br />1. HELP I AM LOCKED OUT<br />2. Noise complaints<br />3. Calling to get a broken/clogged toilet fixed.<br /><br />In 2 years, I had two major, non-routine events. One was a girl who passed out due to insulin issues, and the other was a girl who had alcohol poisoning. Both times I called 911 and my supervisor and campus police were there quickly to take over. <br /><br />It's a job designed for the lowest common denominator. I can't tell you how many of my fellow RA's were hung over at our weekly 2pm meeting on Sunday afternoons. Heck, my freshman year I used to drink with my RA. I think Ruth will be just fine.Alectonoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2201165796329163117.post-48096726519751297542010-08-17T10:13:14.288-07:002010-08-17T10:13:14.288-07:00I just want to give my perspective as a former Res...I just want to give my perspective as a former Residence Director (that's the RA's supervisor). I think the anonymous poster was overestimating the kind of situations she is likely to find herself in. However, when there is an emergency, the RAs are trained to ask for help (There's nothing wrong with asking for help, btw!). Residential Life is like the military... there's a chain of command and you know when to go to your supervisor. I learned a lot from my experience and so did the RAs... because that was one of the goals of the resident assistant program. RAs are employees but they are also college students and the college wants the RA experience to be enriching for them. So I think that A. Ruth will be not just an O.K. RA but a spectacular one! and B. She will hopefully find it to be a positive learning experience. It also looks really great on a resume because it shows you can handle difficult people and situations. Good luck with your training and getting to know your residents, Ruth. It will be fun!Antiquarianationhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04161109306273648940noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2201165796329163117.post-22976690344018412622010-08-17T07:56:35.703-07:002010-08-17T07:56:35.703-07:00LMAO @ anon who thinks that Ruth is unqualified to...LMAO @ anon who thinks that Ruth is unqualified to be a RA!!!<br /><br />Who better to be a big sister to young immature classmates than someone who has been on a steep learning curve over the past FEW years (yes I give her "credit" for being able to leave the bad situation etc as credit for more than the last year of "experience").<br /><br />Ruth, I think that you will do an awesome job! I worked in a children's home as my first REAL job @ 24 and my bosses saw my upbringing as an asset. I also was older, but sheltered and knew just how to be an older and protective monitor. <br /><br />For those anons who think that they have some sort of say in the RA that will be in their children's dorms - Good luck with that!! (Funny that you criticize and then avoid criticism on your blog by being anon! ;)<br /><br />X-ati pilot daughterAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2201165796329163117.post-53117857193345214232010-08-16T23:07:14.960-07:002010-08-16T23:07:14.960-07:00Donna said...
Ruth-for next summer, check with re...Donna said... <br />Ruth-for next summer, check with residence life and find out if there are any summer camps for high school students that have residential components. Usually, there's a need for RAs for them as well, which would let you continue to live on campus, while mostly leaving your time free during the day to work as well. And I KNOW most parents would feel better having their 16 yr old's band camp experience under the supervision of someone a little older than 19! <br />--------------------------------------------<br /><br />I don't know how to quote on here - sorry! I did want to say that Donna has a really good suggestion. My university has an Upward Bound program in the summers. It's a program to expose at-risk or first generation high schoolers to college life. While you need at least a bachelor's degree to teach, I don't think you need a bachelor's degree to be an RA for the program. I thought about doing it - you get free room and board for a few weeks in the summer, plus a stipend. I think at my school it was anywhere from $900-1100. They also had other positions like advisors and chaperones that paid less, but still paid. There is another group for gifted and talented middle schoolers that also hires people for RA and chaperone duties. I think the program is administered out of Johns Hopkins, but it's held all over the country.Shelleyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07362420229838080408noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2201165796329163117.post-27110882984639900882010-08-16T06:02:22.550-07:002010-08-16T06:02:22.550-07:00Coming late to this post but had to respond!
Cong...Coming late to this post but had to respond!<br /><br />Congrats on the RA job Ruth!<br /><br />Boo hiss to the anonymous poster who thinks being transparent in a blog, asking questions, considering the opinions/advice of others is a sign of incompetence. It's a sign of maturity and good leadership skills!<br /><br />Yikes! The worst RA ever would be a self-important know-it-all who looks only to herself to solve problems. Yuck, yuck!<br /><br />Ruth, you are going to shine as RA! =)shadowspringhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15172112981244682382noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2201165796329163117.post-6283406065529142502010-08-15T15:10:50.533-07:002010-08-15T15:10:50.533-07:00Ruth-for next summer, check with residence life an...Ruth-for next summer, check with residence life and find out if there are any summer camps for high school students that have residential components. Usually, there's a need for RAs for them as well, which would let you continue to live on campus, while mostly leaving your time free during the day to work as well. And I KNOW most parents would feel better having their 16 yr old's band camp experience under the supervision of someone a little older than 19!Donnanoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2201165796329163117.post-73663179132970097852010-08-15T09:08:09.548-07:002010-08-15T09:08:09.548-07:00To those criticizing Ruth's problem-solving sk...To those criticizing Ruth's problem-solving skills--sometimes the best way to learn is by doing. You don't learn to drive a car by sitting on the couch; you don't learn to cook by eating out; you don't learn to read by looking at picture books; you don't learn interpersonal skills by withdrawing. You learn these things by taking risks, acknowledging that failure IS an option, and then getting back up and DOING IT AGAIN. <br /><br />Nothing will teach Ruth more about university resources than having a job like this. Hundreds of college students are not aware of all the resources available to them--learning from people who have been there is an important part of college prep. Unfortunately, first-generation students like Ruth and me didn't get that preparation at home; we have to pick it up from non-family members--whether it's via a book, a blog, or from personal friends.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2201165796329163117.post-7095317879832480672010-08-15T00:51:31.673-07:002010-08-15T00:51:31.673-07:00Most RAs I've met are just this side of functi...Most RAs I've met are just this side of functionally incompetent. She'll be fine. Her own choices notwithstanding, most of the things about her upbringing that a lot of people would assume make her immature--like taking care of kids constantly, shouldering responsibility for other people, not partying or drinking/smoking/substance abusing, and so on--will probably actually make her a better RA than the high drunk partiers American universities usually hire.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2201165796329163117.post-62528199927597319092010-08-14T18:03:11.045-07:002010-08-14T18:03:11.045-07:00MJB here --- Ooooo, my liddle Ruthie, somebody'...MJB here --- Ooooo, my liddle Ruthie, somebody's "special friend"!!!! I'm seriously tearing up. Yes, I'll pray for both of you. Pay close attention to how he treats his mama, bebe. And listen carefuly to how he talks about her when you two are out of their earshot.<br /><br />Whether or not this leads to you-know-where, it is wonderful to think that you have someone who is - I presume - very special to you, too. And that you have him on adult-to-adult terms, with no forced courtship or father-finagling involved.<br /><br />Peace and wisdom!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2201165796329163117.post-65016602268329252062010-08-14T16:49:57.578-07:002010-08-14T16:49:57.578-07:00Well Anonymous critic-at-large, the problem is not...Well Anonymous critic-at-large, the problem is not criticism...it is the negative tone and clear lack of knowledge about dorm life that gets on my nerves.<br /><br />And since you have no CONSTRUCTIVE suggestions as to what Ruth SHOULD be doing to secure her future...and you apparently do not know anything about college dorm living...maybe you should consider shutting up?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2201165796329163117.post-56474538266692999652010-08-14T13:45:40.700-07:002010-08-14T13:45:40.700-07:00So basically anon, you need to look up what an RA ...So basically anon, you need to look up what an RA is responsible for before you start on with the "SHE HAS NO IDEA HOW TO HANDLE PROBLEMS!" jargon. <br /><br />She's not going to be working for the UN, she's going to be supervising a bunch of immature, young, college students who need somebody to tell them when to shut the music off, what time a social event starts, how to use the washer/dryer, telling two people to stop pointless bickering with each other and things of that nature. Anything more serious ... well I don't think Ruth needs to be Stephen Hawking to know when it's time to involve HER supervisor and somebody higher up. <br /><br />I think most are flipping their lid, because you sound completely ignorant and are trying to discourage her before she even starts the job. Maybe you don't know how you're coming across ... I'd expect that, because people like you are all too common and there's a word for you that I won't use.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2201165796329163117.post-37353206751299973582010-08-14T10:48:45.170-07:002010-08-14T10:48:45.170-07:00WTF do people think is going on in dorms these day...WTF do people think is going on in dorms these days anyway, bear attacks? We like giving advice to people because we're huge busybodies, not because Ruth will collapse without it. We defend Ruth because we're aggressively polite busybodies, not because she'll fall apart because someone's being a jerk.<br /><br />The average RA is 19-20 years old and is not required to have any previous job experience. Trust me, most of them are pretty effing helpless - the best you can hope for is "not actively high". And a lot of them are from damaging backgrounds - just because someone might know Ruth's background and not know any other RA's doesn't meant those RAs don't have histories of abuse, family violence, whatever. It's meant to be a starter job and RAs, at least at my school, worked under really close supervision. Starter jobs are how you get more capable. Sheesh.<br /><br />Look, I'm a year younger than Ruth and from a secular background. I also had a <i>horrible</i> experience this summer where a job I was doing for free (in addition to my professional job) backfired and put me in a really horrible situation. It was a tough effing learning experience. I leaned hard on the people around me. I found myself in unfamiliar territory and had to ask a lot of people for advice. And the situation had to be allowed to resolve itself, because we can't control everybody. This is called a normal part of life.purpleshoesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2201165796329163117.post-4778185527911719732010-08-14T09:55:11.596-07:002010-08-14T09:55:11.596-07:00It's clear that a good portion of you have no ...It's clear that a good portion of you have no faith in Ruth's ability to take any kind of criticism. You seem to think she's made of paper mache or something. I wasn't being mean to her, I wasn't calling her names, I wasn't encouraging her to give up. I said that I was glad that things were turning out well for her, was excited for her about the new developments with Harris, and wished her all the best. My point was that she doesn't have any problem solving skills, and that if I were the parent of one of the kids in her dorm, I'd be unhappy knowing that someone with such poor life skills was in any kind of position of authority.<br /><br />Ruth hasn't solved any of her own problems, she's come here and asked people what she should do about almost everything that has happened to her since going to school. There's nothing wrong with it, and it doesn't make her bad, or weak, or stupid. Asking advice from people who have been there is how you learn, and most of what she asks, she would already know if she didn't have such failures for parents. But I stand by what I said. She isn't at a point where she should be in authority. She doesn't have the common sense or problem solving skills.<br /><br />If people here think that my pointing it out means that I'm a "hater", or trying to tear her down or discourage her to make her go back to her family, then you have some serious reading comprehension issues. I don't wish ill on her, and I'm not hoping that something bad happens. I'm just saying that, while she's a perfectly nice girl, she shouldn't be in any kind of authority position. You all encouraged her to turn to her RA during some pretty serious stuff with her family, then later with her housing, money, and employment issues. She failed to utilize any of her school resources then - it almost seemed as though she didn't even know they were available, or couldn't get up the guts to go for real help. You all told her that her RA would be prepared to handle the issues, and could help her make it happen. How is she supposed to handle the problems of others when she can't even handle her own? From the simple to the complex? And I think that if you guys were being honest with yourselves, and you put yourselves in the shoes of a parent WITHOUT the intimate details of Ruth's character makeup, you'd agree with me instead of blindly running to the defense of a person that you clearly think is made of spun glass and will shatter irreparably if anyone says anything even remotely negative. <br /><br />Which is it? Is she a strong capable woman with the ability to take care of herself and others, or is she a scared and delicate little girl who will break at the first sign of trouble? Because, I got news, she can't be both. If she isn't capable of taking mild criticism, then she has no business in the real world. And if she's strong enough to do so and bounce back, then why are you all flipping your lids over something so minor as my comments?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2201165796329163117.post-1038404201902128062010-08-14T07:37:30.558-07:002010-08-14T07:37:30.558-07:00Ruth will do fine; she is like any one of us, doin...Ruth will do fine; she is like any one of us, doing the best with the circumstances we're living under. <br /><br />As far as Anonymous and his/her comments about Ruth, so what? Everyone has the right to state their opinion. IMO, there ARE a bunch of protective mother hens here on this forum; I've been a mother hen myself here quite a few times. Why? For me, it's because Ruth's own mother sucked so badly in protecting Ruth from the abuse that was inflicted on her due to BG's teachings, that's why. And her father? Forget about that! He is a freaking Gothardite head case. His mind runs on a Gothard-approved loop. His anger is at the fact that the brainwashing didn't "take" to all of his slaves and that his little protégé slave r-a-n-n-o-f-t! <br /><br />Good luck, Ruth. Wishing you a good semester. Hang in there. :)Dnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2201165796329163117.post-19781811153337917042010-08-14T05:56:39.329-07:002010-08-14T05:56:39.329-07:00I agree, RA's aren't free therapists. If ...I agree, RA's aren't free therapists. If a student had a crisis, Ruth would be there to listen and would mobilize the resources the student needed. I'm not clear what Anon the troublemaker thinks an RA is. My RA's were a year older than me only. I was 18. How much does any 19 yo really know about life and how to handle their own problems? Sure, at 45, I'd be a great RA now. I have my own family to care for though. Ruth will do fine.Boysmomhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02484085135905423794noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2201165796329163117.post-8634591890896384442010-08-13T21:22:36.260-07:002010-08-13T21:22:36.260-07:00IMO Ruth has learned an exceptional amount about t...IMO Ruth has learned an exceptional amount about the world in the last year. She may have more to learn but that's what life is about. I would be very comfortable with my child on her floor. She isn't there to solve their biggest problems but to keep the students following common sense rules. If a big situation should arise, she will point them in a positive direction to get help. I don't think she would try to "solve" their problem on her own. <br /><br />Way to go Ruth! This is my first time posting but I have been reading your blog for months. You are a very brave woman to leave all you have ever known and stand on your own two feet!Emilyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00358681495188227056noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2201165796329163117.post-68154404814800758072010-08-13T21:19:34.725-07:002010-08-13T21:19:34.725-07:00This comment has been removed by the author.Emilyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00358681495188227056noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2201165796329163117.post-32724649924119851552010-08-13T19:23:13.413-07:002010-08-13T19:23:13.413-07:00Bullshit, Anonymous.
By recognizing her abusive b...Bullshit, Anonymous.<br /><br />By recognizing her abusive background and taking the initiative to change it, despite it being all she's ever known, she is far and away more mature, brave and capable than most of your 20-year-old RAs who have lived pampered little middle-class lives with bog-standard high school experiences. Hell, she can probably recognize a bad boyfriend/parent a mile away by now and obviously knows the consequences of letting others take advantage of oneself - that's an asset. She's been taught nothing but self-reliance and perseverance through her childhood. She's been taught not to be impulsive or selfish or to act on her feelings without forethought. Frankly, those traits will serve her much better than being able to reminisce about the Backstreet Boys or high school crushes.Sierra from NLQnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2201165796329163117.post-3988046932029009522010-08-13T19:07:01.316-07:002010-08-13T19:07:01.316-07:00Yeah...I'd like the critic at large to tell us...Yeah...I'd like the critic at large to tell us exactly how Ruth SHOULD have handled the Jack/Jill situation.<br /><br />By not accepting the position? What?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2201165796329163117.post-14512175160915155592010-08-13T18:46:11.740-07:002010-08-13T18:46:11.740-07:00RIGHT anonymous ... because being an RA and learni...RIGHT anonymous ... because being an RA and learning how to tell people to shut the noise off, stop behaviors that are common sense related, doing administrative work and knowing how to treat somebody right are traits/abilities that are SOOOOOOOOOOO hard to learn. <br /><br />Seriously? The position of an RA is precisely there to help a person grow as an individual and leader, and it sounds like it's EXACTLY what Ruth may need! She apparently can figure out when she's in over her head, and then if something like that were to happen she could seek help from HER adviser. She is also skilled at showing people how to become independent, which is something MANY college students need. <br /><br />I've seen RA's that were horrible excuses for human beings and cold as anything ... I think Ruth is going to do fine. <br /><br />Oh, and it sounds like you need to take a clue and learn that we're only hearing the internet version of how things go. People are a lot different offline, and without knowing them ... judging makes you sound like an righteous BITCH.Jennoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2201165796329163117.post-6939872081505361752010-08-13T17:51:28.351-07:002010-08-13T17:51:28.351-07:00If my child were in Ruth's dorm, I would be ab...If my child were in Ruth's dorm, I would be absolutely confident that my child would be safe under the watch of someone like Ruth.<br /><br />My own RA's were party-happy slackers.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2201165796329163117.post-56837429533222402792010-08-13T17:38:12.394-07:002010-08-13T17:38:12.394-07:00Agenda here?
I should point out that these effort...Agenda here?<br /><br />I should point out that these efforts to undermine Ruth are disingenuous at best, and mean spirited at worst.<br /><br />Just out of curiosity...what should Ruth be doing, since you know her so well, Anonymous? <br /><br />Here's the thing...what is YOUR plan, since you have so little faith in Ruth? Tell us all what Ruth SHOULD be doing. How do YOU recommend she secure her immediate future?<br /><br />We are dying to hear it.Ahuntnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2201165796329163117.post-33129999136812287852010-08-13T17:20:16.273-07:002010-08-13T17:20:16.273-07:00Anon 1:15, you're kidding me, right? What real...Anon 1:15, you're kidding me, right? What real-world problem has Ruth solved for herself? Whenever her painful naivete lands her in hot water, she comes here to her blog, and all of the mother hens solve her issues for her. She simply does what they tell her to do. Have things turned out positively on the whole? Yes, but not because Ruth is so great at getting herself out of trouble. Only because she's good at following the instructions that others give her. <br /><br />A couple of recent examples? When faced with her summertime employment issues, she didn't utilize any of the on-campus resources that are readily available, she applied for a bunch of jobs that she was incapable of actually performing due to her broken leg, and then ended up being taken advantage of by shady people. When that blew up in her face, she didn't take charge of the situation, she came here and followed the advice of people who are older, wiser, and more worldly. And then hid in her bedroom while everything played out, until Harris came to rescue her. <br /><br />These things are perfectly normal for a kid out on her own for the first time, and I'm sure she'll take these instances, learn from them, and not repeat them, but I wouldn't feel comfortable knowing my child was going to someone as emotionally immature as Ruth. It's not her fault that she is this way, but it *is* the way that she is. To try and say otherwise is just plain lying to yourself.<br /><br />She has had almost none of the normal experiences of your average college sophomore. She is incapable of identifying bad situations before they reach disaster level, and is unable to guide anyone else out of trouble because she lacks the tools to get herself out. Could she smuggle someone out of a cult? Like no one else, I'm sure. Get them set up in a safe house? Probably. But that's where her crisis experience begins and ends.<br /><br />Reading a handbook to cram for a basic test in a week, isn't training. What everyone else who will be RA's this coming year had was training. Perhaps a person with average life experience would be able to wing it in this situation, but Ruth has the emotional maturity of your average 15 year old. <br /><br />Like I said, I'm glad that she's taken care of the room and board situation, but all she did was follow the advice of multiple people here in the comments section. She didn't solve problems, she acted on instruction. That isn't the same thing. And if my child were in her dorm, turning to her for help in a time of crisis, I'd be pretty upset about it. Because she doesn't have real-world experience or coping skills. I know how harsh it sounds, and I'm sorry for that, but its the truth. No one can say with any level of honesty that she is, emotionally, where your average 26 year old woman is. Or even your average 20 year old. It isn't her fault, but it's reality.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2201165796329163117.post-30310007125087484602010-08-13T14:26:40.931-07:002010-08-13T14:26:40.931-07:00Moreover...Ruth is getting training AND has an adv...Moreover...Ruth is getting training AND has an adviser to turn to...<br /><br />She'll be fine.<br /><br />Also...Ruth seems to be solving her own problems very well. She has pursued and gotten a situation that gives her room and board, and is looking to have her scholarship reinstated, AND is finding employment at the bookstore.<br /><br />Just what problem is Ruth not handling here?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com