Father refused to speak to me today. When I went to visit them last month, I took a People magazine for the plane. I guess I left it in the schoolroom. When my mom pulled out the materials for homeschooling to start this week, she found the People magazine. My father accused me of bringing "indecent" materials and "sin" into the house.
This really hurts my feelings because I was very careful not to offend him and he knew it. I wore a skirt everyday and didn't talk to the little kids about why I left. I kept any talk of school to the bare minimum. I participated in Bible study and fellowship (even though it was the hardest thing I've ever had to do). I kept my mouth shut when Mr. X (a member of their fellowship) gave my a lecture about my sinful ways! I guess nothing I do is good enough and never will be again. It's the most grating feeling to go from being the cherished, loved, "example of womanhood" to being the outcast.
I got introduced to your blog from the TwoP boards. I am sorry you had a hard time when you went home to visit your family. Hopefully being able to express yourself via your blog might bring you some comfort.
ReplyDeleteThis is very familiar. If I "left out" any of my wedding dress magazines (I wanted to study the designs and sew them) or interior decorating magazines they would be thrown away, my parents said, because they "put ideas" in people's minds and "bred discontentment."
ReplyDeleteI'm way late on this, and only tangentially familiar w/ QF, etc (dunno what all the abbreviations are). IDK if you'll see a comment on a post this old.
ReplyDeleteI'm sure there's a desire to not rock the boat so you can stay in contact with the family who aren't as bad as your dad. I have a hard time understanding how catering to his sickness this much is worth it though? Isn't that on some level still enabling him to continue abusing whatever kids are still in the household?
All the best to you.