Sunday, June 28, 2009

Answers for the TWOP folks

Did you stop wearing dresses all at once?
No, it took me a while to get out of the habit. The thing is, dresses are very comfortable most of the time. I still enjoy wearing them but in moderation. When I left the movement, I still believed what the Bible said about women dressing like women and men dressing like men so I stuck to dresses for several months. My first time wearing pants was a pair of capris that I borrowed from a room mate. It felt strange having my legs covered with such tight fabric that wasn't lycra or tights. :o)
I've concluded that it's not the dresses that are the limiting agent. The attitude behind wearing them is the problem. That group wears dresses because they don't want to defraud men or show immodesty before the Lord. What never occurred to me was to wonder how even the tiniest girl could "defraud" a grown man? The attitude puts the blame on a woman for having a body a man might find attractive and that is wrong! It's no different from the burkas of Islamic fundamentalists or the prairie style of FLDS.


  1. Is that really why the Duggars put those long dresses and leggings on their youngest girls? Fear of "defrauding" men? That's just sick.

  2. That's part of the reason. I don't think it's like the thought of an infant daughter defrauding men but it's more like training her not to be tempted to do so (by wearing something other than a dress) later. You instill modesty early so it's habit. The other part of it is the biblical ideal that womens' clothes are to be worn by women and mens' clothes by men. Instilling that young is part of the training too.

    True story. My brother didn't know what a vagina was because he'd never seen one until he was eleven. Such was the adhearance to privacy and modesty that the boys weren't allowed to change a girl's diaper! I always thought it was just a convenient excuse since I had to change my brothers' diapers from the age of four.

  3. That does seem like a convenient excuse! (And it gets the boys away from "women's work", so whoever came up with it did a good job, I guess.

    Ruth, I just found your blog through TWOP, and I wish you well. Thank you so much for answering questions about your former lifestyle; I hope that you can find the clarity and peace you are looking for.

  4. This is one thing I wholeheartedly disagree with, wearing certain clothes in order to keep men from noticing you and losing control of themselves. You'd think that the Men would be so scared of God punishing them(given what I've read about the lifestyle) that they wouldn't lose control of themselves and then the women could wear what they wanted. Pants can be very modest.

  5. Ruth, I just found your blog and I've been reading avidly, in total shock. My heart aches for you and I hope you have peace during the holidays without your family.

    I am a total atheist, feminist, liberal and I love wearing dresses and skirts! Cute dresses of course, not the long, dowdy kind the Duggars wear. I'd love to read your thoughts on "secular fashion" now that you've left the QF world.

  6. New to your blog. What is "twop"?


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