Friday, January 14, 2011

49 Character Qualities of Ruth

Ruth, when will you continue the story?
I've given it a great amount of thought and I'm not sure that there's much story left to tell. Once I left my parents house - my life was complicated to the extreme and became a day-to-day struggle (which it still is). I'm not sure anyone's interested in the events that took place after those court hearings. What I can do is answer more questions as you all ask them. So, here's the opening - what would you like to know?

20 comments:

  1. How you made it to college with a poor homeschooling education.

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  2. What became of your ex- fiance?

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  3. I'd love a general summing up of your twists and turns following your emancipation. Where did you stay at first? First job? How did you support yourself, monetarily and emotionally? How long did it take to get you to college? Your story is incredibly compelling. So glad you are in a much healthier place. :)

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  4. I'd like to know how the "world" as you have now experienced it compares to how you believed it would be when you lived in fundyland. And what kinds of stuff still takes you by surprise--bumping up against prejudices you didn't know you still held from your childhood. Thank you.

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  5. I'm curious to know what became of that scumbag ex-fiance.

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  6. Hi Ruth! I hope you're healing and feeing better (and that Harris' family provided a good place to rest).

    I'd like to know what happened between getting out of your parents' home and starting college. Did you spend time taking classes at community college, just work, did you have to fight to get financial aid?

    I'm also curious about how the world outside of your family has affected you. Was it a huge shock? Has it been difficult to make friends?

    Again, I hope you're doing well and that your semester has started well. :)

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  7. I'm glad you're back. I have to admit, I've been having some Razing Ruth withdrawals. I'd love to hear about experiences you have had regarding culture shock.

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  8. What kind of advice would you give someone in your place? Is there any practical advice you needed right after you got out?

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  9. I would want to know what happened to your mom. I think you mentioned at some point in your story that she didn't leave, but did she later?

    Wish you a fast recovery as well!

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  10. Er...Sorry, I had come here from NLQ, but I quickly see the answer to my question after reading your blog a bit.

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  11. I think there's plenty more to your story, Ruth, and a lot of people who, through reading your blog, have come to care about you. I don't think there's anything that your readers wouldn't enjoy hearing about, so long as you're comfortable (& feeling safe enough) to do so.

    That said, I am curious. We obviously know how the judge decided, but what happened that day? Did your family attempt any more to get you to come back (aside from trolling your blog here)?

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  12. Ruth, you couldn't be more wrong. I'm extremely interested in hearing how you got from there to here. It's a whole new portion of your journey; how could we NOT want to know??? What was life like before you turned 18? How did you assess what you needed to do to get your education up to a level that would make college possible? Who were your mentors? What made you decide on this particular college you're attending? Did your parents/family try to bring you back into the fold? Were they aggressive about it?

    That said, if this is an area you aren't comfortable discussing, don't hesitate to tell us "Sorry, I'm going to have to stop here." It's your story and you have the right to decide what you will and won't reveal. No matter how much we beg. ;-)

    Hope you're recovering well and that school is off to a fantastic start!!!

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  13. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  14. (Previous post deleted because my madd editing skillz stink at 7:00am on a Saturday morning.) Add my voice to the "What happened to the sleazebag ex 'fiance'?" chorus. Something really disgusting, I hope. ;-)

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  15. I'd like to know about how you made progress once you got out, though I'm certainly not asking you to go into anything private or identifying. Escaping is one thing, escaping and surviving is another. The purpose of this blog is to help you, but I suspect it'd be useful to any readers still trapped in Gothardism to know that there are paths forward once they're out.

    Hope your new year is going well. :)

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  16. I'd be VERY interested in reading about how you survived once you got out as well, and how you got from your escape to where you are now.

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  17. I'd be highly interested in the "nuts and bolts" of your experience: how you found a place to live, a job, and access to enough education to allow you to enroll, eventually, in college.

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  18. I'm interested to know the details of how your life became complicated to the extreme. For one, it's a testament to what your former culture requires of it's followers -- not just what you have to give up when you're an adherent, but what you have to give up if you ever decide to leave.

    But also, I think that anyone reading your blog, thinking about leaving an abusive environment, would benefit from knowing about your current day-to-day struggles, and how exactly you're managing to get through.

    A lot of times people stay in abusive environments because they're afraid that leaving would be even worse, they've been lead to believe that without their current system they wouldn't be able survive at all.

    The imagination, when set on this prospect (how would I *ever* survive if I left?), can just overwhelm a person.

    So I think that you would do a great service by writing about your struggles plainly: you're having to build a new support system, you're having to start from scratch in so many ways, but you're figuring out how to do it.

    I think that dose of reality would offer a lot of hope to those people trying to manage their freaked-out imaginations, even if your description of reality includes complication to the extreme.

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  19. Ruth, I've been enjoying reading your story. If I can encourage you at all it would be to encourage you to set and maintain whatever boundaries feel appropriate to you. Whenever you're done telling your story is the right time to stop. It's been fascinating and inspiring to read, and I'm sure you have helped a lot of people reflect on their circumstances and imagine something better for themselves.

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  20. Add me to those interested (to the degree you're comfortable sharing) about your life in transition from Gothard life to where you are in School right now.

    I'm also curious to know your perspective to adjusting to everyday life. Wearing pants, reality television, world news, fashion magazines, technology, music - ya know? There must have been a huge culture shock for you in being introduced to the world around us good and bad - was that introduced to you slowly? Or did you have to take in all in at once? What still surprises you? What do you like that might surprise us?

    Thanks so much and I hope your leg is healing well. (Also, I hope your friend is also doing well!)
    Jacquie

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