Sunday, February 17, 2013

Interesting Developments and Questions answered.

Mary, I've been addicted to your story since someone pointed me to it ten days ago. I think I'm caught up. I have a question or two if you don't mind. I was a Gothard kid, too. Homeschooled and ATIed. Were you the xxxxxxxxxxx family that used to live in NW Arkansas? We may have stayed with you once. Were you gone by 1995 because I remember you if you are that family? You were maybe 11 or 12? What happened to your rabbit?" Brandywine Yes. That was us. I remember your first name. Glad to see you got out of that too. You should go over to freejinger and tell your story. If YOU are who I think you are, your story is better. You're living a great life from what I hear. :) The rabbit was eaten. How are you living now? I have an extra five dollars I can donate this month. Need it?- Jack> I'm still hanging by a thread. I've been hiking in my free time because it's cheap and it gets me some exercise which seems to help cure the demons. Been contemplating a walk on the Pacific Trail this year. That takes some capitol and I would have to quit work for a few months, though. It would solve my residency issues though. :) I live in my car most nights, other nights I stay with a friend and she lets me do laundry and use the shower. If it's cold, then she'll insist I stay with her. I really just want to get my own apartment. Trying to make that happen by saving up money. It would take a little to do the down payment and then stock the apartment with necessities. Some day, I'll figure it out. Until then, I'm just thankful I don't have children to deal with. Thank you, to the person(s) who suggested calling the maker of my medication- they are going to pay for six months worth of my antidepressant. Yay! Heard from the family and Rachel is pregnant. Interestingly, I see Ellie almost once a week and none of us can believe Rachel got pregnant so fast. I wonder how she'll do with this baby? Ellie is growing so fast. She's just the best. Rachel did the right thing. My dad is very sick, from what I hear. There was a prayer chain for him last week and, from the grapevine, it seems like he may not be long for this world. I worry for my mom and my little sisters. How will they keep going? How will they find a place in the world?

19 comments:

  1. Just a thought, but perhaps you ought to consider moving to a state that isn't so economicaly depressed right now. Girl, you are trying to make something of your life and you have a lot of things in your own past bag of wonders that makes it hard enough, let alone trying to make it in a state that is not only taxed to the hilt, but fast on the way to being bankrupt!!

    I would also suggest, that some of your difficulties with depression are situation based and that if your situation changes somewhat; ie: a place to live other than your car, you might not need medication (and I say this because I have BTDT and it's amazing what situation alone can do for the psyche) Not trying to be a doc here, but honestly, living in California right now, is probably an uphill battle that you really don't need.

    Might I suggest Montana? Our economic situation isn't one that makes everyone clamor to get here, but it's better than CA's right now.

    I'll put you up until you can save your money for a place of your own and you will be safe. Promise. We've got great places for hiking here too a whole Bob Marshall Wilderness to explore in the summer, if you want.

    Either way, what's keeping you in CA?

    If interested, e-mail me, mtwildflower36 at yahoo.

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  2. I was a sheltered homeschooled girl who found the real world to be a strange and overwhelming place too. Can I recommend a potential solution to your situation? At the moment I am teaching English in South Korea and I love it. I'm making great money and gaining some good resume experience, and the job isn't difficult at all. South Korea is a pretty easy country to live in once you've taken a month or so to figure things out, with universal healthcare and fantastic public transportation and support for foreigners. All you need to secure a great teaching job is a B.A. There are tons of very high-paying teaching jobs here, and they come with airfare and a free apartment and healthcare. If you want to know more you can message me at mehndilotus at gmail dot com

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    1. My husband was stationed in South Korea and LOVED it. He often wishes he could go back. We also had a South Korean exchange student live with us for a year and she said English teachers there are in HIGH demand because it's taught in all the schools. She was very fluent in English.

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    2. Hey, that's so funny because I was literally just about to say the same thing! I taught for year in SK and loved it! Usually you also get a month's severance pay at the end of your contract, too.

      Mary, I'm a new reader to your blog. I wasn't homeschooled but I was very sheltered because I had a high level of involvement with an evangelical church all through my teens and university years, and I'm now out of the pressure cooker that religion was for me, just figuring things out. I feel like I relate to you and other ex-Quiverfull/ATI/fundamentalist/evangelical types of people.

      I'm thinking of going back again soon, actually, because I had such a good standard of living and liked my job.

      There are lots of websites you can send your CV to. You don't need teaching experience or anything, just a degree (they especially like degrees in English Lit, Teaching, or Applied Linguistics but I did History and I got a great job over there). The fact that you took care of kids all your life will give you an edge.

      If you have any questions or want to know more you can email me at mistieclaimsvictory at gmail.com (Mistie Holler is my televangelist name, who I dress up as on Halloween).

      Best wishes to your sister and I hope your Dad pulls through.

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    3. ...just realised that when I wrote 'I'm thinking of going backagain soon, actually,' I should have added 'to South Korea', because it looks like I'm saying 'back to evangelical church' (which I'm not).

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    4. I have also done the English teaching in South Korea. But I really want to caution you on this option, Ruth. I am very glad that the posters in this thread enjoy/have enjoyed South Korea. I did, too. I want to say that while I do not regret my experience in South Korea, it's because I ended up in a decent school. PLEASE be careful if/when considering this, Ruth.

      There are many good people in South Korea, but there are just as many recruiters and schools who want to scam you and make the most gentle and kind people turn bitter and resentful who flee in the middle of the night back to their home country because they have just had enough. I saw it happen to a few of the expats in my community.

      If you do decide to go this route, please thoroughly research your prospective employer. There are many how-to guides on the internet for this, as well as what questions to ask, what to look for in a contract, etc. Post your contract on ESL message boards for review. The type of setup that South Korea relies on for attracting English teachers is easy for bad people to manipulate, and I would be sad if you were their next victim.

      This isn't meant as Korea or English-teaching bashing. Just good advice (that not everyone gets) for anyone wanting to teach abroad: let the teacher beware!

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  3. It's good to hear from you Ruth, I'm sorry things are so rough. Is Rachel married already I assume? She might be grieving Ellie and wanted to have another quickly as a result. I have seen that occur quite often. I think that the South Korea idea sounds like a good option, you could earn some money and even maybe train for something in the meantime that's in higher demand. I am finishing up my MA in speech and language pathology and will be a speech therapist, there are lots of jobs in my field. My program is online, with clinicals in person, but those could be done at the end when back home.

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  4. Those are excellent ideas. I have considered teaching out of the country but I didn't think I had the qualifications. My degree isn't in education. If anyone has links to sites I can contact for careers like that, then I would love for you to share them. :)

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  5. Check out Dave's ESL Cafe: www.eslcafe.com (it has a dedicated South Korea page).

    If you're on Facebook there are a bunch of agencies such as Daegu ESL Headhunters you can contact(Daegu is the third biggest city in Korea, cheaper than Seoul but still big, fun and lively). I used an agency called Flying Cows www. flying-cows. com - it's UK based (I'm British) so I don't know if they supply teachers from other English speaking countries. Me and a friend used them and we both had positive experiences.

    Given your current financial situation and that you don't have an ESL qualification, I think Korea would be the best country to go to. It's the place where you can save the most money. I managed to save almost $8,000 when I was there and I still had a good standard of living. I really think you should go for it! You'd just need some money to live on until your first paycheck, that's all.

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  6. I've never ever been one to doubt your story up to this point, and even defended you against those who did, but the details of how you're living seem to keep shifting..first you were in a completely paid off trailer (like the other poster did, I'm now wondering how you got kicked out of a trailer that was completely yours), then you were in either a car or a shelter, then you were renting a room from a family member of Harris, now it's back to the car again. Why does it keep shifting, why couldn't you keep renting a room, and couldn't you and the friend that you sometimes stay with become roommates and you split costs. Also, I'd still like an answer to my question several posts ago...I asked if 5 of your 10 sibs left the movement WHY don't some of the other 4 help you out a little? I just don't get it. I believe your original story, but recent details seem to keep getting jumbled up.

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    1. As for your mom, I guess she could teach math again if she needs to.

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  7. Ruth's voice has felt "off" at times. I don't know if its her depression or just stress of life. Ever since her "is this the end" post she hasn't seemed like herself. My hope is that no one has taken over her blog, or trying to impersonate her.

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    1. She was far more articulate and polished in her active blogging days. Hard to judge from a distance.

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  8. http://www.jetprogramme.org/e/faq/faq01what.html

    Also, it's not uncommon for women to have a baby soon after relinquishment.

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  9. what's the harm of little idi*ts?

    monstrous.com/forum/index.php?topic=13908.0

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  10. I hate to be crass but do you think your father passing may break the spell on your Mom? You have mentioned that your Mom came from a well to do family. Do you think that they would help her out if she became a widow? I hope you can find at least a cousin who is willing to help you pick up the pieces, because I feel like you will end up doing that. You strike me as being very loyal and you clearly love your mother. But, please, don't end up sacrificing your life no matter what.


    Do you think Rachel would stay married? I hope her new husband is treating her well, even though the circumstances around their marriage sounds "off" I hope that she is blessed with happiness or at least peace.

    Good luck and stay healthy and happy and may things only get better for you.

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  11. I also recommend the JET programme. Iris teaching in Japan. You will be able to save money and. See the world! I have just read your entire blog up to here, good on you for all you have done.

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