Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Ice Cream and Answers

I feel like crap but I've had such a wonderful day it barely registers. Guys. I think I'm "crushing". Harris brought over ice cream last night and we sat around and watched Third Rock from the Sun. I mentioned to him that I was trying to stay down (to let my throat and body heal) by watching DVDs in the common room, so he left his television in my room and then stopped by with ice cream and his collection of 3rd Rock From the Sun DVDs. They're very funny. I also had my first helping of this ice cream called dacquari ice from 31 Flavors. It was delicious. Now I want to know if real dacquaris taste like that (I've never drank alcohol). In any case, I really like Harris. He's sweet. I do have to watch myself though. We were watching something in between changing DVDs and it was a current events show. I found myself deferring to his opinion out of an old habit of letting any male in the room be "right". Luckily, I stopped myself from feeling that way and voiced my disagreement with his opinion. He's coming over again in a little bit.
A reader asked-
what if Josie had been 18 weeks or ealier when Michelle had pre-e, would they have allowed the c-section? Would that have been considered an abortion?
Standard disclaimer: I can't speak for the Duggars. I can only give my perspective as a former QF/ATI member
I'm not sure they would've done a c-section that early. At all costs, they would've tried to prolong the pregnancy until viability UNLESS, and only unless, Jim Bob and Michelle received divine revelation through prayer (and Jim Bob fasting) to allow the c-section. In reality, it would've been an extremely difficult decision for them because of their principles on elective abortion. If it had been my parents, for example, they would've waiting until the fetus started showing signs of distress and the doctors could've predicted an inevitable death or until the mother was in distress herself. Then they would've taken the distress as a sign that God was moving the body towards self-abortion and they may have allowed a procedure or delivery. It has to be the last resort for most QF/ATI families.

@Krite - I'll try that remedy. Thanks!

Anonymous said...
She is posting about it on her very public blog giving them free publicity. Just saying if she hates them so much, why watch them? Why pick everything apart about the show?

I don't hate the Duggars. I have many feelings about them but hate isn't part of it. I watch them because, and this may be tough to understand, it's like being home again. When you go home for the holidays, do you always agree with your parents and family? Do you ever fight with you siblings or do you always agree with what they're doing? Have you ever got in the car after being with family and been a little relieved to drive away? I thought I was pretty clear that my issue was with the way TLC presented what happened to the Duggars and how they try to sugar coat the big issues involved with having so many children, so close together. I apologize if I wasn't clear on that.

PS- If you don't already do swagbucks, I would appreciate you using me as a referral. Thanks to the four people who already did this.
Search & Win


  1. My Dear Girl...you have had a break through and I am very proud of you! Keep voicing those differing opinions! A relationship that goes the way of one party being always right and the other agreeing with the him is a dangerously unbalanced relationship.....

    " We were watching something in between changing DVDs and it was a current events show. I found myself deferring to his opinion out of an old habit of letting any male in the room be "right". Luckily, I stopped myself from feeling that way and voiced my disagreement with his opinion."

  2. I love Daiquiri Ice. It's my fave ice cream going back to childhood. And here's the best part, it has NO fat and is very low in calories. You can eat all of it you want and still be in good shape. Most baskin robbins only carry it in the store every other month. You might want to get to know your local store's schedule, lol.

    And alas, no, it doesn't really taste like real daiquiris. I'd rather have the ice cream than the booze any day.

    Harris sounds like a sweet heart. Good luck and I hope you feel better!

  3. Ruth, I promise you that you don't have to apologize to everyone who posts negative comments on your blog. You aren't accountable to us - the random internet - for everything you want to write about your own experiences. You don't have to defend your decisions against the judgment of other people unless what you're doing is actually hurting someone. You are trying as hard as you can to be honest and measured, and that shows through. Reasonable people will see that.

  4. Thank you for answering my post, Ruth. I'm relieved to hear that QFers would at least consider that option. It certainly would be a difficult choice, at the very least.


  5. I am so excited to hear about your crush!

    I tried to use you as a referral for swag bucks. I hope it worked. :)

  6. I'm the anonymous who posted the reply to Nancy. And I agree that Ruth does not need to apologize to me or anyone else. Contrary to what your supporters think Ruth, I wasn't trying to attack you! I just can't understand why people watch somethings just to comment negatively on it (i.e. the Duggars). I thank you for your explanation, though you did not owe that to me either.

    PS Good luck with Harris... he sounds sweet and it is great that you feel safe enough in his company to test new waters (not agreeing with him simply because he is a man)

  7. I used your link for swagbucks yesterday, I think it worked. I have been wanting to try it for awhile but I didn't want to use the link on Emily's page.

    Yes, Harris is definitley interested! You should ask him out. :)


  8. I so appreciate your posts. I am from an ATI family (I'm 40, so was in the first year of ATI. It's taken a long time to be ok with myself rejecting all those false teachings. Anyway, my parents were also QF'ers, and my mother had had 4 C-sections (she is still angry at the first doc that gave her a C-section 40 yrs ago, despite being 4 weeks overdue and the baby - myself - being in the worst possible breach position. During the 4th pregnancy, the baby's ear was showing through the placenta, and both baby and mom were in serious danger of dying, and would have, had they waited 1 more day to perform the C-section. At this point, the doctor insisting on a tubal ligation for my mother, b/c, as he explained to her, any pg's, and she'd most likely die. A few years after that, both parents became convicted of their "sin" in not trusting God, and they looked into getting a tubal reversal. This terrified my sisters and me, b/c we all were old enough that we knew what would happen if my mother were to become pregnant again. Thank goodness, they were unable to successfully reverse the tubal ligation. Reading your posts, and reading about the Duggars, is kind of like coming home. In a scary way.

  9. It's great you might have a crush on Harris. Crushes are fun! I met my boyfriend freshman year of college in the dorm. He also used to take care of me when I was sick :-). Even if nothing comes of your crush, it is still great you are building new relationships and finding yourself in the process.

    I personally have never had the ice cream, but daiquiris are delish! If you want to try alcohol, go for it. Just remember to go slow (especially with those sugary drinks - they are so tasty that they go down fast) and be safe. It could be a fun night at a Mexican restaurant with Harris :-P.

  10. Ruth, If you'd like to get the taste of a daiquiri, but no alcohol, you can always get one virgin (without alcohol). My favorite are strawberry daiquiris, yum! I'm not a big alcohol fan (it's too expensive and a waste of calories), but I do like some of the drinks virgin (strawberry margaritas are delicious as well).

  11. I'm so glad to hear about Harris! As someone who was great friends with her now-husband before we considered each other love interests, I think this is a great way to go. Focus on being friends first; if there's something more, it will evolve naturally. And even if it never becomes anything more than friendship, it will be great practice for you in relating to men.

    I wish I had used you as a Swagbucks referral instead of a certain other blogger. ;-) After I reach my next Amazon card I may see if I can start over with a new account.

    P.S. I found your blog through FJ, but I'm keeping my blog comments separate from my board name.

  12. Hi, I'm the Nancy who is being picked apart by Anon. I just have to say that the Duggars chose to document their lives in front of TV cameras. As such, they are open to any and all criticism, both positive and negative.

    It's my perogative to be fascinated with this whole part of society that I had no clue existed until a couple of years ago and I have every right to voice my opinion about how the Duggars choose to live their lives.

    I value Ruth's opinion because she's been there, done that, and speaks about her life with candor and honesty. I appreciate Vickie Garrison who is an advocate for the mothers who escape the movement for the same reasons.

    The Duggars get a lot of flack from mainstream Christians, so I'm not alone in my views. I think JimBob and Michelle are very selfish and my sypathies lie with the kids who are now in an odd place because they've been exposed to the "real world" more than the typical QF/ATI kids who are, for the most part, limited to a specific sphere of acquaintences. Ruth, please feel free to correct any inaccuracies or missatements I've made about the movements. If I've done so, it's completely unintentional and not meant to deceve anyone in any way.



  13. Hi Ruth,

    Harris sounds like a great guy- very considerate and sweet. I really hope you guys get to spend lots of time togethr, as friend or otherwise, either way, if he's as sweet as he sounds he's definitely worth dating! Best wishes.

  14. Hugs to you Ruth. Hope you're feeling stronger every day. =)

    I personally love daquiris (alcohol included) but I agree with the person who said go slow! I usually stop after one because one drink makes me giggly and two drinks make me stupid. I prefer giggly to stupid.

    Also, never drink with anyone you do not completely trust, and make sure that if you are out somewhere the driver stays completely sober. Drunken girls are putting themselves at the mercy of the character of everyone around them. Personally I don't trust that many people that much! ;-)

    I just came over from the NLQ blog, and as a mother, I want to say thank you for blogging about your mom as a human being. You show so much compassion for her, and I imagine that is a huge relief for her heart. We mothers are always so worried that we will screw up so bad our children won't forgive us.

    Is it not this very insecurity that made it easy for people to prey on your mom? They claimed to know the "right way" the "guaranteed way" because it was "God's way". I am quite sure that wanting to do life right so as to be the maximum good for her children was a big part of why your mom surrendered her mind/life to outside experts.

    I have only a passing acquaintenace with Bill Gothard, but the ONE weekend in the first Basic Youth Conflict seminar was enough to screw up our whole family for years. I loathe that man and his teaching. He has done more to destroy the hearts that Jesus loves than any other man living today, in my opinion. He is a wicked, wicked person.

    Heck, I think I'd be closer to the heart of God by hanging out with the Ozzy Osbourne family for the weekend. At least we'd have some laughs!


  15. Ruth,
    Harris sounds very sweet..........I think he likes you......OUUU. Just kidding! You deserve some pampering and as much ice cream as you want. Dacquiri ice cream sounds interesting......

  16. On Michelle Duggar, my son was born at 22 weeks under similar conditions. After the fact, and struggling with guilt because I'd survived and my son hadn't, I asked the perinatologist whether I could have done anything-could I have said "No", to the emergency C-section and waited, to try to give my son that extra week or two which would have given him a chance to survive.

    His response was that the hospital was already prepared to get a court order to force the surgery had I resisted-because I would NOT have survived even in ICU in that state for long.

    Once you go to the hospital, when you're that sick, there's no choice.

  17. Oh my gosh, I'm so happy for you Ruth! Crushes are so much fun. You get excited to see them and hang out, and you get that added little kick. I hope you're enjoying it. From what you say, Harris sounds like a nice guy, and really sweet. Just a little advice: don't treat this as a relationship with expectations because you might end up disappointed. Take it one day at a time and just see where this road leads you.

    As far as the daquiris go, I've never had one so I can't give you advice on that. Since you are an alcohol novice, start light. I'm not a big beer or liquor drinker, but I do like to drink. I'm into the hard ciders (Ace Pear is excellent) and wine (pinot grigio...I don't know if that's spelled right). Make sure you have something in your stomach before you drink anything, and pace yourself with water in between drinks. I'm not assuming that you will go out boozing every night, but having water in between drinks is just good for your liver. Also, if you ever go out and order a drink, never ever EVER continue a drink that has been out of your possession for any period of time. I don't want to make you paranoid, but there are some creeps out there who will slip something into drinks that are left unattended. But I digress.

    Have fun with the crush!!

  18. *sheepishly suggests the bubble gum ice cream*

    If you pull out the bubble gum, you can chew on it after the ice cream is gone.

    Its like the gift that keeps on giving.



Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.