Here's what I'm working on.
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Dear Jack and Jill,
Three months ago, I was graciously welcomed into your home and began to love you as a second family. Things were fantastic for weeks and I had nothing to complain about. I assume that you felt the same way due to actions on your part and sentiments you have shared. Your boys are wonderful boys - you've done a great job raising them- and I hope to be a part of their lives from here on out.
On Friday, at 7:21pm, I was at the soccer field with *Max and *Jax*. After several innings of practice, Jake* arrived to "relieve me", as he normally does, but on this occasion, he was in the middle of a business deal and I didn't want to interrupt to tell him that i was heading home and he should get the kids' water from under the shade of the big Elm. While I was waiting to catch his attention, a fly ball came over the fence and *Jack's partners' little girl ran into a field to grab it. As you know, there is a road less than 10 feet from the edge of that "field", so I took off after her. In doing so, I tripped into a kit fox hole.
I was immediately in pain and was having a hard time walking, but - as Jack was still talking- I collected the children and spoke to their coach about the next game before driving home. At home, I met up with the both of you and in your opinion, I needed care. Your friend "Doctor" said he'd see me gratis. At his home, it was decided that there was an injury that needed further study and lots of rest until then. He recommended going to the Urgent Clinic for xrays. Jack took me there, too. Upfront, we were both told that the xrays would be $400. I told Jack I couldn't get that money at the momet and if i could it would wreck me financially. He said, "Don't worry about it. We love you." and handed the woman his credit card. The xray indicated a problem but the problem would need a CAT scan to evaluate properly. Until then, I was told to take it easy. I still have the doctor's orders.
This has put us in an awkward position. You've been great employers and your boys are amazing. Perhaps because I find you so amazing, I'm having a hard time discussing this with you and how I feel it should be handled. I've done some digging and based on our work agreement/contract, the injury happened on "work time" (even if it was outside our set hours) and since you may or may not be paying into State Disability, maybe we should look into that to cover the xray cost. I'm also concerned because I know you give me room and board in a remarkable fashion but because of not giving me a salary of my own, I can't fund any need or want without going through you. To then have Jack ask me to take things off my grocery list was shocking. I've never abused your kindness or our relationship professionally. I feel that without such clear lines drawn before, we're now in a pickle.
Until I find a way to fund a CT, I need to respect the doctor's orders and keep off my leg as much as possible. I believe that I can still nanny your children effectively and actively, with certain requirements and adjustments made. I will take it on myself to create a curriculum of indoor activities or yard activities that i can supervise without being on my legs. Would you be willing to work with me on making these adjustments for the time being?
I've lost sleep over this problem. However I don't think it's a problem we can't overcome in the best interest of the children and ourselves.
Thank you
Ruth
What else does it need?
It's great, and I think you raise an important point - that this happened at work.
ReplyDeleteI also think, to give into my cynical side, you might need to have a plan to leave, fairly quickly. I would hope they would be, well, grown ups, about this, but it's always good to have a plan B.
Unfortunately, this is the reason people need detailed agreements. You'll know that for next time. They've probably come out ahead by "paying" you in room and board, since they're not paying any payroll taxes, and can count on you for those extra moments here and there, when you're not officially on call. They kind of own you, and they know it. It's standard for live-in help to have some kind of monetary payment, even if they're getting room and board.
ReplyDeleteIf you move out now, they may ask you to pay back the $400 right away. Whatever happens, the previous commenter is right in suggesting you make arrangements to live somewhere else, if neccessary. Don't do anything crazy like moving out without telling them, and don't offfer to do extra work to pay off the medical bill, or do anything else extra for them. Start looking for new work immediately, and see if the college has any kind of housing available for you.
Most importantly, contact a social worker, who might be able to hook you up with services in your area, or at least give you better advice than we anonymous interwebz readers can give!
I think it's a great letter. I'm a little suspicious of the seemingly sudden change of attitude from your employers. Because of that I think that having a "Plan B" as mentioned by an earlier poster is a good idea.
ReplyDeleteUnfortunately, I don't know a lot about what your rights are. You are employed by them and it does seem to be a work related incident. You were upfront regarding the inability to pay $400 all at once. Dad was aware and proceeded on "his own". And because they are not paying you in monetary form, that makes it hard as well.
I would definitely try to work out a payment plan as opposed to draining your entire savings. Not to be rude and this is an assumption, but I am guessing that $400 means a world of difference to you than your employers. Not that you shouldn't pay it back, of course. But on their end you did need treatment! Again a payment plan should be fine for a family that likely could spend the same amount during a day out at a theme park if that makes sense.
Assuring them that you can still do the job and coming up with alternative activities for the children sounds acceptable to me. Though I sense that mom doesn't want to have "her" time interrupted at all. I also wonder if the grocery cut back wasn't because of her as well. I know that laying blame isn't going to help, and what I'm trying to say is that dad may be the one more willing to negotiate and bend.
How much longer were you planning on being in this home? Personally, I think you should be able to fulfill your work obligations, with some adjustments. I can't see why that would be a problem. Same with any housework and meal prep you may do.
As for CT scans and further medical treatment. Is it possible to get it done at the same place you did while school was in session? They should still consider you a student. I would try, *if it is possible, to not call on your employer regarding further treatment. And that may mean to wait til classes resume. Obviously if your pain is severe or you feel there could be long term damage due to waiting, then you have to act quicker.
I would suggest filing for Medicaid. This will involve your employers as financial data will need to be collected. I don't know how they will react. On one side they see you are trying to handle the situation without further costs to them. However, if there is anything not right about their agreement with you, they may shy away from it. Also it may take time for Medicaid to be approved, but once it is it should back pay all prior expenses from the date of application.
The last thing is the grocery list. They had a system in place that apparently was working fine for them. Now you are getting different vibes and made to feel uncomfortable. This seems to be a warning sign of some sort to me. I wish I could figure it out so you could be proactive, and again I think mom is the driving force behind it, if that offers you further insight.
Hang in there and please keep us updated.
i wouldnt work with them anymore. you may love the boys, but the parents obviously dont truly love you or they would be caring. 'dont worry about it' switching to making you responsible for it and taking off your basic needs plus still expecting you to work how/when they want while you recover isnt caring at all :/
ReplyDeleteNot sure if my comment went through, I got a message that URL was too long, but does say here that the comment was published. Just in case, I'll try again and divide up the message if that was what was too long. Feel free to delete any duplicates...sorry.
ReplyDeleteI think it's a great letter. I'm a little suspicious of the seemingly sudden change of attitude from your employers. Because of that I think that having a "Plan B" as mentioned by an earlier poster is a good idea.
Unfortunately, I don't know a lot about what your rights are. You are employed by them and it does seem to be a work related incident. You were upfront regarding the inability to pay $400 all at once. Dad was aware and proceeded on "his own". And because they are not paying you in monetary form, that makes it hard as well.
I would definitely try to work out a payment plan as opposed to draining your entire savings. Not to be rude and this is an assumption, but I am guessing that $400 means a world of difference to you than your employers. Not that you shouldn't pay it back, of course. But on their end you did need treatment! Again a payment plan should be fine for a family that likely could spend the same amount during a day out at a theme park if that makes sense.
Part 2
ReplyDeleteAssuring them that you can still do the job and coming up with alternative activities for the children sounds acceptable to me. Though I sense that mom doesn't want to have "her" time interrupted at all. I also wonder if the grocery cut back wasn't because of her as well. I know that laying blame isn't going to help, and what I'm trying to say is that dad may be the one more willing to negotiate and bend.
How much longer were you planning on being in this home? Personally, I think you should be able to fulfill your work obligations, with some adjustments. I can't see why that would be a problem. Same with any housework and meal prep you may do.
As for CT scans and further medical treatment. Is it possible to get it done at the same place you did while school was in session? They should still consider you a student. I would try, *if it is possible, to not call on your employer regarding further treatment. And that may mean to wait til classes resume. Obviously if your pain is severe or you feel there could be long term damage due to waiting, then you have to act quicker.
Part 3
ReplyDeleteI would suggest filing for Medicaid. This will involve your employers as financial data will need to be collected. I don't know how they will react. On one side they see you are trying to handle the situation without further costs to them. However, if there is anything not right about their agreement with you, they may shy away from it. Also it may take time for Medicaid to be approved, but once it is it should back pay all prior expenses from the date of application.
The last thing is the grocery list. They had a system in place that apparently was working fine for them. Now you are getting different vibes and made to feel uncomfortable. This seems to be a warning sign of some sort to me. I wish I could figure it out so you could be proactive, and again I think mom is the driving force behind it, if that offers you further insight.
Hang in there and please keep us updated.
Just to make sure that I wasn't going crazy, I re-read your previous post and you replied to one of the posters that you get "paid" in room and board, meals, and transportation. Do you realize that by not paying you in wages that they've made it convenient for themselves to absolve themselves of any employer-related financial responsibility for you? They are NOT paying wages, employment taxes, disability insurance, etc. Now that they have paid a few hundred dollars for your treatment, they are up in arms. As far as that goes (the $400), unless they said, "this is a loan - SPECIFICALLY), then consider it a "gift". It's time to just let it go and start thinking about what's good for Ruth for a change.
ReplyDeleteHere's what to do ASAP: Go to the nearest Department of Health and Services or whatever it's called in your area and see a social worker who will let you know of any services you are eligible for. I thought that this was already discussed before on this forum many times. Are you hearing this? I don't know if your Gothardite training meant to abstain from "government resources" as they might be evil or something, but I suggest that you enter the evil world with the rest of us heathens and apply for assistance as you definitely need it. I don't mean to be blunt, but this emotional letter that you wrote sounds all well and good, but to people who know how to evade paying taxes and know how to play the game, they are not interested in such things. The gravy train of getting free childcare was going well until this little mishap occurred. Now that they've actually paid cash for something, they're getting uptight. See things for what they are instead of what you might wish them to be. I think they showed their true colors when things went awry.
You should have been receiving Medical all along. Hindsight is 20/20, so you can't do anything about that now. I don't know if you're going to go apply or not, and seriously, if you don't, you're just hurting yourself. I don't know what the problem is with applying; I don't know if it's fear or what, but whatever it is, you have got to get over it and apply for what you're eligible for. That way you won't have to go back to these people and grovel for scraps. Seriously, how are they even employers?? Because they offer room and board? Well, I could offer any stranger off the street room and board and it doesn't mean that they are my "employee". Do you see that, Ruth? Please, please, please, stop hurting yourself by not applying for what you are eligible for.
I agree with D. I did not realize they employed a cook. I thought maybe they were just a nice middle to upper middle class family that couldn't afford a full- time paid nanny . You were desperate for a roof over your head and they needed a babysitter. I wasn't comfortable with you not being paid from the beginning, but I thought it was a necessary trade-off in your situation. I now think they were completely aware that they owed you nothing if things did not work out to their satisfaction. They got out of paying taxes and insurance by finding someone who was willing to work for free. I agree with whoever said it before that the rich do have a strong sense of entitlement and don't like not having things not go the way they planned. Your accident has put a crimp in their plans and they are reacting in the way selfish people react.
ReplyDeleteDo not pay back the $400. They have nothing in writing from you agreeing to pay them back. The way the man offered to pay did not imply that he expected repayment. They will not sue you for it because it will make them look bad. Especially when the facts of your employment situation come out.
Also, I think the letter is way too personal and effusive. I would leave out all of the compliments and back-patting and just calmly state the facts in a professional, friendly way.
Please listen to D and contact Medicare and Social Services. They exist to help people in your situation. I am happy to have my tax dollars go to help people that need services.
Good luck, and please stay strong. These people are treating you like a doormat and your Gothard background is helping them to get away with it.
Maryk
I cut out the bit about the wonderful working conditions, Ruth. About how fantastic its been there.
ReplyDeleteI would use that part to re-emphasize what a good job you have done for zero pay and how there have been no complaints from the (said loosely) employers.
Personally, I would cut out all excessive praise of them. Its more personal than business and this has crossed into needing to be a business relationship more than ever.
You have some great advice here, Ruth. Listen to whats being said.
Ill tell ya, as a former ATIA-er, we have been conditioned as women to keep taking sh*t from people long after others would have cried uncle.
This is the time to start preparing yourself for the potential for things to turn really ugly. Hopefully they will be decent but the selfishness displayed by Jack and Jill so far leads me to believe that you have become an inconvenience to them.
They do not strike me as people who allow much inconvenience in their lives so where does that leave you?
You dont owe these people, Ruth. You owe it to yourself to do the best job you can but you do not owe them. They are taking advantage of you. I can not get past them not paying you jack squat to watch their children. That is just mind boggling on several levels.
My two cents. Good luck!
Jenny
I agree with the more cynical posters above. I would add that it is important to establish healthy boundaries in every type of relationship. My background is similar to yours in some ways and I was taught nothing about boundaries growing up. Except that I wasn't allowed to have any. Your employers may be nice people, but that doesn't mean they won't do not so nice things. They're human. You have the responsibility to protect yourself and your needs no matter how much someone else seems to have done for you. It doesn't make you a selfish person. Set a business-like tone in your letter and establish the amount of help you have been to them. That's my suggestion.
ReplyDeleteIs it possible that the family feels as awkward about the situation as do you? Open up the conversation and discuss the hardship that this accident has caused everyone and see if there is a good way to resolve it. I suspect that the family will be relieved and happy to help you get Medicaid. It seems that this would take a lot of money fears out of the picture. I get the sense that the family does feel obligated to you and expected you to make cuts in lifestyle along with them to help offset the medical costs of your care. When your list showed items they may consider to be luxuries, they reacted in a parental disapproving way. That likely triggered you a bit because of your upbringing.
ReplyDeleteMost people are not all bad or all good. they are just people.
I'm from the UK, and in the UK Jack and Jill could probably be taken to court for what they've done to you. You letter is too nice to them. Be a bit more businesslike...
ReplyDeleteYou've gotten some good advice. Good Luck, it will all work out.
ReplyDeleteI think you could do without all the compliments. Take some off, maybe not all (after all you don't want to sound too menacing either).
ReplyDeletePeople are not just nice in every part of their lives. They seem to be penny pinching to me. You can be both penny pinching and really joyous, nice agreeable people. Of course their unwilligness to pay may temper the nicest of their quality...
I think you should contact some professional (social worker) and apply for medicaid too ^^
Don't lose sleep over it. Not only you are in your rights to protest but there are institutions out there to help you. You'll find a solution !
Are you sure that you still aren't covered by the school insurance plan? I know at my university, as long as you have enrolled for Fall term, you are considered a student in the summer even if you aren't taking classes.
ReplyDeleteYou shouldn't pay your employers back for the x-rays, it happened while you were working for them.
I have to agree about not paying them back for the xray. They are being incredibly petty by retaliating against you by limiting your food list. I would cut down the food to be the bare necessities and then ask the mother what she wants from you. You were hurt on the job, protecting her children. You weren't out drinking when you were hurt.
ReplyDeleteShe acts like you did this to ruin her summer. Calmly tell her that you want to do the best job you can do, but that you are starting to feel like a disposable commodity.
I'm all about confrontation and not letter writing. I'm probably horrible at giving advice. But make sure that you get medical care. I agree that you should call your school provider and explain that you were hurt last year and you've re-injured it and you are scared. They might be able to help.
In the last post, someone recommended contacting legal aid about this issue. I agree and think this is definitely an avenue to pursue because they can likely assist you with resolving the situation informally or, if things fall apart further, with obtaining state benefits and pursuing your rights under state an federal employment laws. I'm in California and there are a variety of free legal clinics that do a fantastic job assisting with all of these issues.
ReplyDeleteA brief note about Worker's Compensation, which was mentioned earlier: In California, Worker's Compensation pays for injuries sustained while working. That appears to be your situation. You may or may not qualify, but there is a chance that you could recover directly from your employer or from your state for any costs incurred due to your injury.
A note about the minimum wage: Again, I don't know where you're located, but California has specific calculations that are used to determine if room and board satisfies the minimum wage. Even though you're employed by a private family, state an federal employment laws still apply. This is another option you can look into to see whether you can recover any owed but unpaid wages from the family.
A note about unemployment insurance: If your employment is terminated with the family, you may want to look into unemployment benefits.
Hey Ruth:
ReplyDeleteI read the rest of the comments, and yes, I think you should take out the compliments. I think it's ok to be frugal, but there's a different between being frugal and batering for a service, and abusing someone else.
When you barter, you each give something of equal value. They would have had to pay for babysitting anyway, so when they say "we'll hire you to nanny and take X off as your room and board" they are paying a bit less and giving you a room, and you are accepting a bit less to stay at their house and not have to pay rent.
They have given pretty much nothing, and you have given up everything. When relationships are that imbalanced, this isn't a bartering system, it's abuse.
I'm so sorry this happened to you.
When I look at the original situation, it makes me wonder about their finances. If they cannot afford to give you a salary, that credit card may be one of 20 that are maxed out and they may be facing a mountain of debt. Don't assume they're rolling in cash simply because of their lifestyle--it's highly possible that they are barely making it and your injury threw a wrench in their budget (if they have one.)
ReplyDeleteI think you've gotten a lot of good advice, but I would caution you not to get too bristly and formal trying to backpedal from the mistakes of not getting everything in writing and planning for your own health plan, etc. You don't have a lot of experience in the "worldly" world, so it's not unheard of to have something like this happen. (This is another reason why health care reform passed recently.) But still, I would not want to burn bridges with them. They may be just as scared as you are.
Make a plan, stick to it, protect yourself, but don't cut them off. Better to have it work out for everyone than to freak out now and live for the next month in misery, all around. They are in just as much of a pickle as you are, likely. I wouldn't be so quick to cry abuse--stupid moves on their part, yes, but I'm not positive it's intentional. But, I'm not in the situation, so I don't want to judge.
Oh, and that pop makes me wonder if you tore your ACL (Anterior Cruciate Ligament). I did, and lived with it that way for a year and a half, but eventually needed surgery. Take som ibuprofen--helps with the swelling and pain.
Good luck, Ruth. I am sorry this happened to you, too.
La rêveuse : they have a professional cook... somehow I bet this person has a real salary...
ReplyDeleteif they don't have money then don't exploit someone else... It's a bad move in a general situation pointing to a want to exploit someone for the summer.
I agree with the others to make your letter business and not personal. Also remember anything you put into writing they can use to bolster a case against you. Sorry to have to think like that, but you do need to look out for yourself.
ReplyDeleteI am not a wealthy woman and if I had a live in nanny that I was only able to provide room and board for I would certainly not begrudge $400 if she was hurt watching my kids. I also wouldn't dream of turning her out. I'd just make adjustments so she could watch the kids within her abilities. YOUR employers should do the same.
They have big family outings/vacations every weekend, employ not just a babysitter during work hours but a *nanny* (even if they aren't paying her properly), and they have a personal cook. IF they are "just barely getting by", it's because of their own lavish lifestyle and unwillingness to change it. No, I think they are plenty well off and just don't think Ruth's services are worth as much as they are. But they're wrong, and they need to pay up.
ReplyDeleteI agree with those who are saying you are too nice in your letter.
ReplyDeleteThey should pay the $400, no questions asked.
As for the CT scan, when I think of the few times I have had to file workers comp claims (for very minor injuries) they always ask tons of questions about previously existing conditions. If you worked for a big company and had something like this happen, I bet the workers comp people would try to say a CT scan would not be covered because of the previous injury. I am just guessing here...
Also someone mentioned the family medical leave act. That only applies to employees of companies that employ more than 50 people.
My point here is that legally, I don't think Jack and Jill are legally obligated to much here... but Jack pulled out the credit card for the $400 and did not say he was going to expect repayment. They should pay it. Period.
Are you in CA? There are so many people talking about CA laws. Gosh I'd love to have you live in our basement apartment and help a little with my 2 kids. I'd cut you a much sweeter deal. LOL
I would like to add my two cents and say you should not worry about 'burning bridges" as someone posted to the last entry. You need to fight for your rights so that you can take care of yourself. Do it all by the book and don't worry about any future employers. Jack and Jill are the ones in the wrong here, NOT YOU.
ReplyDeleteI second (or third) the legal aid recommendation. I think that it's important to know your rights, even if you choose to resolve this informally. For the reasons that previous commenters gave, I think that it would be best to resolve this without the involvement of the courts. At the same time, if it's clear that you know your rights, Jack and Jill may be more inclined to work with you. Also, it would be smart to have a legal aid worker look over any letter you write to make sure that you don't say anything that would leave you vulnerable if this did end up in litigation. Just my 2 cents.
ReplyDeleteRuth, these people are ripping you off. The "employment" situation is most likely illegal. Do not worry about the $400. Apply for medicaid as others have said. And find somewhere else to live, planning for another job. These are privileged people who are taking advantage of you. Do not allow it to continue.
ReplyDeleteAs many others have said, no matter how nice these people are, they are taking advantage of you. As soon as you can, I would highly recommend finding another job. I think one at a restaurant would be best, because in addition to your wages, you would also earn money through tips (my sister works in a restaurant...she gets quite a bit in tips). It also might be a good idea to check and see if your college has a classified board for housing; my college did (I checked it out of curiosity) and some people were offering rooms for super cheap rent, utilities and amenities included.
ReplyDeleteYou are a very talented writer, so you might want to try writing some stories and have them published as well. I bet some of your professors would know of people in the publishing industry (the English or Writing department (depending on what it's called at your college) would also be a good place to go for information if you want to have a story published.) I'm writing a couple stories, and as soon as I'm done, I plan on going straight to my old professors to ask their guidance (and it would give me a good excuse to talk to them... I miss them terribly).
I will be praying for you, that God gives you guidance in your situation. Best of luck and God bless, my sister in Christ!
i am wondering if the husband got raked over the coals by the wife and that is why he's changed his tune? he seemed up front with the $400 but maybe got home and she was not impressed?
ReplyDeleteit's good that you detail exactly what happened there, for the record.
i missed the bit about a cook. where does ruth say that?
Hindsight is 20/20. Don't beat yourself up.
ReplyDeleteWhen does the schoolyear start back up? We've only got a month left here. You have been put in a bad situation; I think it's entirely likely that your employers are just not thinking through the situation that they've put you in. I also think that human nature is stubborn and that you should be careful and document everything that's presently happening in writing, much as you've done here.
Now, I am from the South and tend to be really nicey-nice about everything, so to me this letter was not over the top, but I do agree with others that you could cut your praise of them down to a few cordial sentences. I think it's really good that you note, first, that you're not preying on their goodwill, but rather are depending on them for the full dimensions of room and board, and second, that these lines were not drawn clearly beforehand and that's why you're *both* in a complex situation. I would try to sit down and talk with them if you think that you will be able to advocate clearly for yourself in a face-to-face meeting. Sometimes when I need to have a tense meeting I sit down and make notes of the points I want to make sure get covered, and I rehearse a little. If you aren't comfortable doing that yet, I think legal aid, a social worker, or another second opinion might make you feel more confident. And I think if they treat you shoddily when you meet face-to-face, you should go immediately to legal aid, or to your school legal clinic if there is one (ask; you may be surprised.)
Finally, it may occur to them at this point to get you to sign a contract. I encourage you to ask them for a day to read over anything they offer you. On the other hand, I think that it might be wise for you to offer to write up a contract for the remaining month.
I do think you need a backup plan, but I am guessing that spousal miscommunication is the source of the tension, and that possibly both parents don't understand the straits you're in financially.
Several years ago I worked for a physician that employed an au pair through a service. They paid her $5.50 and hour plus room/board/transportation. She could only work 40 hours per week and not a moment over. She was only allowed to cook for the kids and clean after the kids. General housework and cooking were against the contract with the service. I mention this so that you can compare it with your present situation to determine if you are being taken advantage of or not. I wish you were closer to Michigan as I'd love to help you out. ((hugs))
ReplyDeleteRuth, just remember that this letter may be saved by them for future use if this incident should ever go further into the "legal world." I agree with everyone who said to cut back a bit on the compliments - it's fine to say they've been fair and decent employers up until now, but you don't want the letter to read as fawning praise to them either.
ReplyDeleteAlso, I'd reiterate the point that you're not being paid a salary for your services AT ALL and that's the sole reason you're unable to pay for the X-ray bill (that they should be responsible for anyhow).
Good job on offering to continue your job, only on "light duty" as it were. That shows that you're truly not trying to swindle them, you just need to take care of yourself so you can take care of their kids. (And really, they should want the same thing, seeing as you're caring for THEIR kids.)
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ReplyDeleteI can't offer any advice that hasn't already been given. The whole situation is tremendously disturbing, and I agree these people are taking advantage of you. Which really ticks me off. PLEASE keep us posted!!
ReplyDeleteRuth, I think you are getting good advice, but this situation with your leg could become a very big deal and I think you should carefully consider whether you should get legal advice before sending the letter. (See a lawyer first.)
ReplyDeleteIt is clear that you are an employee, and this is a work-related injury. The family is obligated to pay the costs associated with the injury. If you decide to send the letter before getting legal advice, say less rather than more. Stick to the facts of the injury and to your request that they pay for treatment and that they make reasonable accommodations for the rest of the summer.
I would remove a lot of your original letter - maybe something like this:
"Three months ago, I was began working for you as a live-in nanny caring for your two children.
On Friday, at 7:21pm, I was at the soccer field watching your children. A ball came over the fence and *Jack's partners' little girl ran into a field to grab it. Since there is a road less than 10 feet from the edge of that "field", I took off after her. In doing so, I tripped into a kit fox hole.
I was immediately in pain and was having a hard time walking. At home, I met up with the both of you and in your opinion, I needed care. Your friend "Doctor" said he'd see me gratis. At his home, it was decided that there was an injury that needed further study and lots of rest until then. He recommended going to the Urgent Clinic for xrays. Jack took me there, too. Upfront, we were both told that the xrays would be $400. I told Jack I couldn't get that money at the momet and if i could it would wreck me financially. He said, "Don't worry about it. We love you." and handed the woman his credit card. The xray indicated a problem but the problem would need a CAT scan to evaluate properly. Until then, I was told to take it easy. I still have the doctor's orders.
Since this injury happened during the course of my employment, I believe you should cover the costs related to the injury.
I need to respect the doctor's orders and keep off my leg as much as possible. I believe that I can still nanny your children effectively and actively, with certain requirements and adjustments made. I will take it on myself to create a curriculum of indoor activities or yard activities that i can supervise without being on my legs. Would you be willing to work with me on making these adjustments while I recuperate from ths injury?"
I'm a lawyer, though I can't give you legal advice because I am likely not licensed in whatever state you're living in. So take this as a general sort of comment.
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, whenever you go to work for an individual you need to have a contract in writing.
Second, in my opinion you are an employee and you may be entitled by law to certain protections. You may be entitled to a minimum wage, you may be entitled to collect on a workers compensation policy that should have been taken out for you. I don't know what the law is in your state, some states have specific rules regarding nannies that offer them more or less protection than other kinds of workers.
Third, if this accident happened on their property you may be able to collect on their homeowners policy. This could depend on whether or not the family was negligent in some way, whether there was a dangerous condition on their land or whether that condition was open and obvious.
In my opinion, you should contact an attorney in your area who can advise you of your rights under the laws of your state. You might be able to talk to an attorney for free through your school. A lot of schools offer students free basic legal services and I'll bet that employment issues like this are basic and common among college students.
In my opinion you should talk with an attorney sooner rather than later. I might consider waiting to file a lawsuit or some sort of complaint with the state until after you're no longer employed by the family. But there's no harm in contacting an attorney now who can advise you of your rights.
BTW a few threats by an attorney may be able to get your employer to come around on paying this $400 or perhaps even more for your leg. Your employer doesn't want this sort of thing litigated because believe me they are not paying taxes for you. They are required by law to pay social security taxes for you as your employer. (I don't believe you're an independent contractor, in which case you would be required to pay them) Your employer is also required to pay federal, state and local payroll taxes for you. They're also required to pay towards unemployment insurance as well as provide other basic benefits like workers compensation insurance.
ReplyDeleteYour employer wants no part of a tax evasion case and if threatened they will likely back down and pay your bills. Furthermore, what are the odds that they file a lawsuit against you for $400? Their time is worth more than the $400 they could recover.
You aren't in the best position without a written contract but you aren't in the dire straight legally that you might think. You hold some power here and you ought to use it. First up is to find an attorney.
Ruth: This conversation would be better done face-to-face, but if you MUST send a letter, you need to cut 95% of the compliments and be totally business in the letter. Make it short and to the point.
ReplyDeleteSomething along the lines of: "I have enjoyed my work caring for your children this summer. However, the injury that I sustained recently while supervising your children's baseball practise has created a difficult situation for all of us, as we have no contract and therefore no clear plan for who should be responsible for any on-the-job injuries.
"I told Jack that I could not afford expensive medical treatments, including the clinic's x-ray. When Jack said not to worry about it, I understood him to be saying that he would take responsibility for the costs.
"I agreed to the treatment only because Jack told me that I did not need to worry about the expense. I am, therefore, concerned to find that you expect me to reimburse you for these treatments, as you are aware that I have no source of income.
"I am more than happy to continue working with the children, though I will need some accomodation for the injury until I am released by the doctor to resume normal activities. I can easily find things to occupy the children that will not require me to violate the doctor's instructions.
"I think it would be a good idea for us to meet and discuss my responsibilities and my compensation for the remainder of the summer, reasonable accomodations for my injury, and the situation with the medical bills.
"If you would prefer to terminate our business relationship now, I will need two weeks to arrange alternate accomodations and to seek alternate employment."
As a former ATIA-er and almost QF-er, I understand how very hard it will be for you to confront these people, whom you like and care about, and whom you also view as "authorities." However, you MUST steel yourself to the confrontation and do it.
I will be praying very hard for your situation and for God to help you as you deal with the emotional and physical aftermath of this injury and the rift it has caused between you and the people you work for.
(I DO agree that you are being taken advantage of in a most shameful and immoral way, and I do think that seeking legal advice would be a good idea for you.)
Welcome to life as "the help." If you do get a lawyer they are about as expensive as the medical bill. I hope you are actively looking for a new position with a formal job description. Just like a "new immigrant" they took shameless advantage of you.
ReplyDeleteI just stumbled on your blog today. I absolutely love what you're doing and I greatly appreciate it. Though my family situation was no as bad as yours, I definitely understand what you went through (as many of my friends did). Keep up the good work.
ReplyDeleteEven if this couple is over-extending themselves financially, it's not up to Ruth to be mindful of their situation. The couple is responsible for their finances, not Ruth.
ReplyDeleteRemember, this is just business, so take out all the emotional commentary and stick to the facts. Talk to a lawyer to find out your rights in this situation.
Also, you might want to consider signing up with a nanny company who screens the clients for you and takes care of all the business contract things. That will make it somewhat easier to not get shafted in the future. Yes, you'll most likely have to find a place to live, but at least you won't have to worry about your employers taking advantage of you.
A comment about your leg: You don't want to make the injury worse than it already is by delaying medical treatment or doing more than you should because you don't want to lose your job. Keep in mind your own health is important, too.
I hope this has a satisfactory outcome and you get what you are entitled to.
Good luck!
In the state of California (where I have gotten the impression you are located), when an employee is paid in room and board costs, they still must be equivalent to minimum wage, which in California is $8/hour. They are required to pay taxes and have a worker's compensation policy. They stand to have enormous fines against them for violating it. You were injured on the job whether or not you were at their home and they are required to cover the cost in some way. It is legal for them to pay it out of pocket, but they still have to pay it. In your situation, it's easy to intimidate you and make you feel like you owe them. They know that you are vulnerable to a certain extent and they are taking advantage of you. In the state of California, even if you had signed a contract agreeing to these employment terms, you cannot sign away your legal rights, or sign a contract that violates laws. So even if you had agreed to all of this in writing, it would not stand up in court.
ReplyDeleteIt is really easy for us to sit here and tell you these things because we are not in the situation. You should know your rights, however, even if you decide to use different tactics than have been recommended to you here. At least if you know your rights, you have more of a bargaining position.
You should also know that if you were to try to use your regular insurance to pay for medical care for this injury, they would not pay the bills because it was sustained while on the job. Even though you had previously injured this leg, you have a verifiable incident of injury. You did not just aggravate an already weak area of your body. You injured it. It is workman's comp.
Ruth-
ReplyDeleteI know you're focused on the $400 medical payment, because that's what has thrown a wrench in the works. But really, that's not the main problem here. The main issue is that you're being exploited very severely. I really hope you use this crisis as an occasion to be paid what you are owed.
I did some back-of-the-envelope calculations based on what I could find of California wage and labor laws. Even assuming that your room and board can count as wages - and that's not entirely clear for situations that require you to live in - your employers are underpaying you to the tune of at least $1300 a month. And that's based on the California minimum wage of $8 an hour; of course, most nannies I know are paid much more than that (around $20 per hour) in my part of CA.
The state of California apparently counts board (all three meals) at $10.35 per day - so $310 for a month. Lodging is supposed to be calculated at 66.67% of what the premises would rent for on the market. Even at SF Bay Area rents, one can rent a room for about $800 a month, which means that even at Bay Area rents, your employers are giving you a lodging benefit of only $540 a month. Your total monthly room and board works out (at best) to about $850 a month.
Minimum wage in CA is $8.00 an hour, with 1.5x overtime for any hours worked beyond 40 a week. If, as you say, your agreement with this family is to work from 7:30am to 6:30pm five days a week, then you're working 55 hours a week. This works out to exactly $500 a week, about $2150 a month - at minimum wage! In other words, this "very nice" family that you've been working for has been shortchanging you to the tune of at least $1300 a month, so about $4000 for the whole summer.
That's a nice chunk of change by any measure, and certainly for someone working her way through college. And now, of course, you have additional medical expenses, thanks to being injured on the job. Please don't let this simply be about the $400 medical expense - who knows, the medical expenses could spiral out of control, depending on how serious the injury ends up being - but use this as an occasion to formalize your relationship with your employers and actually be paid the wages you're owed.
I would also encourage you to try to talk to them. They've seen very reasonable (aside from not really paying you, but that's another topic). Can you find a quiet moment and say "I think we're all stressed out. Can we talk about this?" Some times that goes much farther than you'd expect.
ReplyDeleteThey could be scared to death that you are going to sue. The wife might have freaked because she's got something else going on. As far as I'm concerned, the 400.00 for the xray is on their card and you shouldn't pay for it. Esp if you end up having to pay for an MRI later.
You should mention that you have no money since you aren't getting paid a salary, and they should know that you don't have insurance, since you told the husband in the ER.
I think getting a lawyer will cost you more in the long run than it's worth. School probably starts in three weeks or so. Make sure they understand you are in pain. And that you can find ways to watch the kids without moving around a lot. I'm sure they are panicked that they may have to find someone for a few weeks, at the end of the summer. The pickings will be slim to none and they know it.
Mention that the cost is a huge burden to you. As in "not eating" kind of burden.
Call the doctor that saw you for the other injury and say you've retweaked it. Ask if you can get some help some place without insurance. Call the public hospitals. Most won't welcome you honestly, but I think most hospitals have to treat first, verify income later.
You were in a pickle when you accepted this job. It wasn't ideal but your leg hampered your efforts. Next summer, you'll know better. I would seriously go for an on campus position and try to save up as much money as possible. Some RA positions are for the summer as well. Explore all options!!!
Start your job search early next summer. You only learn in life by failing. If you never fail, you probably never tried much. We've all been there. Don't beat yourself up.
And maybe you should look into calcium pills? I'm starting to worry that the ATI dinner table didn't give you strong bones. Hugs!!!!!
Ruth-
ReplyDeleteI think I was overgenerous to your employers in the calculation I made earlier. It looks like the minimum wage can be offset by no more than $37.63 per week for a room occupied alone or 66.67% of market rent in the case of an apartment, though in any event no more than $451.89 per month even for an apartment. Board is set at a maximum of $12.21 per day, or $85.47 a week.
If your employers are giving you your own room and paying for food, then it is as if they were paying you about $125 a week. You are owed at least $500 per week for working 55 hours in California at minimum wage. In other words, you're being exploited to the tune of $375 a week.
Here's a copy of the relevant regulation: http://www.dir.ca.gov/iwc/IWCArticle15.pdf. See especially #10, Meals and Lodging.
I have been a regular reader of your blog, but haven't posted before. I strongly feel the need to post now, because I have an overwhelming discomfort about this situation. First of all, I agree with many of the comments above; I think you've gotten some great advice and I don't think I have anything to add. Why I wanted to post is that I am gravely concerned about the atmosphere of this situation and the bigger picture. I didn't think of it when you were first posting about your job as a nanny, but now what I see is that your employers are taking advantage of you, and that you allowed your situation to be set up (unknowingly) for that to happen. I completely understand that you may not have had another choice, and at first glance, this job seemed like a great opportunity for you. However, I feel that you have repeated an abusive situation unknowingly, maybe subconsciously. Small details, such as allowing control of the purchase of food and personal items to the employer, not receiving a wage, not having a detailed contract -- all these things allow someone to control you. I'm not sure what to say, just that it terrifies me that you're in a situation like this, and if you look for another job (which I think you should), I hope that you will create for yourself a situation that gave you more autonomy and control, and watch out for the one you may veer toward - the one where you relinquish control to an "authority" figure. I'm cheering for you, and praying for you...
ReplyDeleteHopewell, getting a lawyer doesn't have to be expensive. Like I said, Ruth can probably get legal advice from her school as many schools offer students free legal advice. A lot of states have laws on the books where an employer who shortchanges an employee has to pay for that employee's lawyer. If that's the case in Ruth's state, she'll have no problem finding an attorney to handle her case.
ReplyDeleteMany institutions of higher education offer health coverage year round for a very nominal fee. Both my children are required by their schools to either prove they have coverage or purchase coverage through the school. Consider looking into that. Almost every State has a plan for low-income residents.
ReplyDeleteTo those discouraging Ruth from seeking legal advice because it would be too expensive -- many lawyers work on contingency, meaning that they don't get paid unless you collect something from your employer as a result of their help. (That said, they won't take your case unless they think you have a good chance at winning. This one seems kind of cut-and-dried to me, but the dollar amounts involved might not make it worth their while...)
ReplyDeleteI'm with Kik on this. I think you're a little too used to people taking advantage of you. I hope this situation works out but in the future remember it's always easier to speak up sooner than later. If you keep your requests professional and reasonable a decent employer will appreciate you all the more for it.
ReplyDelete