Monday, April 4, 2011


I wasn't planning to blog today -
Then, I received an e-mail that just had to be made public (he asked for it). I make it public if for no other reason than to show you just how the patriarchal mind thinks. The e-mail came to the e-mail address linked with this blog (easy to find) and I think you'll quickly decode who it was written by. This is a copy/paste. The only thing that has been changed are the names of my family and the person who wrote it (because that might lead to identifying me and cause harm for his wife and children).

Dear *Ruth,

I knew you would end up no good...washed up...blameing every body but your selve for your troubles in life...generaly being bitter about your life. I knew it then and I know it for sure now.
You lied about our courtship...only fair that you give me a voice to tell my story and if you do not I will sue you for slandering me.
Your daddy begged my father to present you to me. GODS honest truth. HE BEGGED... BEGGED becaused you are worthless and were worthless as a wife. It does not surprize me that you are unmarried still. You were ugly physically...refusing GODS promise for womanhood shows in your face now and then. I prayed and God told me that my father was right that I had to ask you for your hand because GOD promised it would show us who you really were. GOD IS ALWAYS IN CONTROL...HE ALWAYS WILL KNOW WHAT WILL HAPPEN. A rightous woman would honor her fathers choices for her...I confidantly knew you would reject me just cause your father wanted it for us so I had no worry in proposing marriage to you
TELL YOUR ADORRING READING PUBLIC THAT YOU MASTURBATED. You were unpure before GOD. Me and you kissing was nothing compared to what GOD had on your heart. You seemed to liked my kiss...saying blogging you didn't is like a WHORE saying she doesn't like sex. All for show...all for show.
Your daddy wanted you gone from that house for your influance on those kids in umbrella of rightous protection. Under the LORD OUR GOD you flaunted all the rewards of TRUE COURTLY deserved being kicked out. Pray... Tell your adorring readers that I offered you a home...a ring...a place in a faithful union called by GOD. I make $70,000 a are a poor single WHORE. Education isn't smartness. A boyfriend isn't a is against GOD. Harris can't give you salvation only GOD CAN DO THAT. You said that I physically abused you...liar. Liar. LIES. I never pushed you...your word againso mine...and who will people believe a liar or a happily married man with a good living and no need to blog about the stupid problems I have. The day your dad called me to say you were leaving his protection I just had a relief brought by GOD...I was so glad I could get on with finding his real partner for me...which I did after one more just like you who sinned against me.
I have four children...what do you GODLY BEAUTIFUL wife is expecting number five and we leave it to HIS WILL. You are a sorry excuse compared to my wife....she knows college meant nothing compared to TRUE WOMANHOOD. Being a TRUE WOMAN is accepting the roll GOD MADE YOU TO PERFORM. Don't you see that every peice of your life is falls apart on trial...I hope you do because I don't love you but I care for you in GODS way.
Be truthful Ruth.

I know I'm recovering from my childhood when I can read this and laugh. With Harris by my side, I can see the desperation inherant in this diatribe. Here we see a man who has re-written history to portray himself as the hero. Such a Gothard trait! Where would we women be without the steadying hand of a man? :)


  1. Well, if you're a "poor single whore" then so am I! Welcome to the club, sister!

    His tone is so disturbing. I'm so glad you didn't marry that poor excuse for a man, and I'm glad you found what a true man can be in Harris.

  2. You know, any time I see some self-righteous patriarchal idiot talk about "a woman's roll" I want to ask if he means white or whole wheat.

    And well done, Ruth :)

  3. Now aren't you sorry you didn't marry this Godly man?

  4. This comment has been removed by the author.

  5. I feel sorry for this guy's wife and kids, to be honest.

  6. The nitpicky Communication Studies major is coming out in me...but if this guy even wanted to be take with the slightest amount of seriousness, he needs to learn proper grammar, punctuation, and spelling (same goes for the name-calling; that is also a no-no if one wants to be taken seriously). It's a fact of written communication. It sounds like he's obviously still sore at you for coming out with the truth, and it makes him angry because he can't control you (also, with the way he writes, his anger problems are very clear). He still tries, however... What a pathetic way for him to live. I'm so glad you're not around that, Ruth.

  7. To Ruth's ex-fiance,

    By all means, get yourself some education. I cannot remember the last time I've laughed so hard at someone's spelling and grammar.

  8. I don't know what else to say but "what a moron." Jeez.

  9. Wow! He sounds positively scary and unhinged in his letter. I too feel sorry for his wife and kids. :( I'm so, so glad you got away from this creep.

  10. Um did he graduate from the school of the dining room table too? As stated above, grammar, punctuation and spelling go a long way to making people actually think about you post. If it's really "Aron" == don't let the door hit your butt as you leave the room.

    And whose business is it but yours what you do in privacy to your own body? Certainly not an azzhat like him.

  11. And you let that man get away? ;-) I would LOVE to know what prompted that little missive. Did he just wake up one morning and decide you needed a verbal thrashing? Did he feel his atrocious grammar and spelling would aid you in grasping the error of your ways? Did he really believe that your readers would gasp in horror at the idea that you might have (glancing around and whispering) experienced "personal satisfaction"??? (giggle) Actually, that DID make me gasp because the notion that you would have ever discussed it with him is ludicrous. That is some SERIOUS pent-up rage, there, and there's no way his poor family isn't catching the brunt of it. What a pitiful excuse for a human being...

  12. I was so glad I could get on with finding [GOD's] real partner for me...which I did after one more just like you who sinned against me.

    Ha... tainted by two intelligent women, eh Aron.


  13. Oh! And by the way slander is when something is spoken you stupid, ignorant man. Libel is when something is written. Personally, I'm glad Ruth didn't marry such an imbecile [im-buh-sil]. Look it up ex-fiance... I'm sure you will learn a new word. I provided how to pronounce it.

  14. Aron, does your wife know you feel so strongly about your ex-fiance? I think you're lusting in your heart and making yourself impure. Just the thought of her masturbating really gets you riled up, doesn't it?

  15. Please, tell me Harris can spell. He can? Already a better choice. What astonishing words for a very Godly man to use about anything in God's creation.

  16. I see your father picked out someone just like himself for you, eh?


  17. Ruth, I am thrilled beyond words that you could laugh when you read this email. The laughter is a tribute to all the very hard work you have done to make peace with yourself and your past. Obviously you have succeeded in being able to appreciate the whole person you are.

    I do cringe for his wife and kids. Maybe she is a secret reader of this blog and will see how many of us stand up and applaud you. Maybe she will borrow some of your courage and our support and throw that overblown maggot out on his ass so she can give her kids a better life. Maybe....

  18. Ahahahahahahahahaha! That's the funniest thing I've ever read! Wow, I bet you cry every night that you let THAT one get away. :p

    Sounds like he misses you, Ruth.

  19. Wow. I read it. I hear his side. And I can only think that you are so much better off. What a tiny petty God he believes in.

  20. Another "poor single whore" here.

    Ruth, honey, you missed out...On this. And now you have Harris. Instead of someone who accuses you of "impurity", lies, and turning away from chose Harris.

    Good choice, Ruth.

  21. Hey ex-fiancé. I, a lowly woman, make more money than you do. I've also been married longer, and have a husband who is very, very proud of me. Oh yeah, and I can spell.

    Ruth, thank God you got out. It's both laughable and shocking to think this 'man' believes he is spouting Godly wisdom or knowledge. In addition, he mises a big point about Christ-like love.

    I'll say a prayer for his poor wife and children, that they may be rescued from his anti-Christian suppression.

  22. well, sweet louise! he sure does know how to make a woman feel good about her choices, eh? you dodged that bullet.

    his poor wife.

  23. I have four children...what do you GODLY BEAUTIFUL wife is expecting number five and we leave it to HIS WILL. You are a sorry excuse compared to my wife....she knows college meant nothing compared to TRUE WOMANHOOD. Being a TRUE WOMAN is accepting the roll GOD MADE YOU TO PERFORM. Don't you see that every peice of your life is falls apart on trial...I hope you do because I don't love you but I care for you in GODS way.

    this is REPULSIVE. it disgusts me that people still think like this, and that their religion is a vehicle for such "philosophy."

    you're well shot of him, ruth.

  24. May God have mercy on this dude's wife and kids, because this guy obviously won't.

    What a perfect illustration of the power of brainwashing.

    Ruth...I still think you rock.

  25. Wow. Developmentally, what? 8th grade? And he procreates... yikes.

    I'm really embarrassed for him. The fact that it still bothers him enough to write to you and ask for it to be published--um, I'm thinking he's missing that whole forgiveness thing in the Bible. It's kind of a main point.

    Ruth, I am so glad you're out of that mess. It's like a soap opera, only more stupid.

    Aron? As the old adage says, sometimes it's better to be thought a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.

  26. That email says so much about his family and the lack of education and common decency that they provided him with. His spelling and grammar scream "uneducated" and his insults do a poor job of covering up how upset he still is that you rejected him. I hope and pray that he doesn't hit his poor wife in front of the children or while she is pregnant. He is undoubtedly an abuser.

  27. If that's what a whore is, I wanna be a whore!!

    I'm sure Mr. Mentally Unhinged never masturbated. It's not like does, or anything. I think what's better is that you can say you've never sexually then physically assaulted someone! That's kind of a big deal, right? Something to be proud of! Single Whores Who Don't Sexually Assault People for life, baby!

  28. Gosh, Ruth, I knew you dodged a bullet, but never realized how much so until this little diatribe. What a moron.

    So this is how "real" Christians are supposed to act, huh? Nice.

    "Aron", move on with your life and stop fixating on Ruth. She's way over you! Making a little money (I - another whore in your book, I suppose - makes more than you do - LOL) and knocking up your wife doesn't make you a man. Not even close.

  29. What a disgusting ditchpig. Ew. He can't spell or form a sentence worth a shit. Losah.

  30. Can't write, can't spell, calls names, verbally abuses.. gee Ruth, why did you ever let him get away?? *snort*

    I feel sorry for his wife and kids and wonder in what ugly ways his temper and lack of self-control are manifested at home. Very sad.

  31. Totally disturbing:

    "I was so glad I could get on with finding his real partner for me...which I did after one more just like you who sinned against me."

    Hey "Aron," when the something this serious happens TWICE, it is rarely coincidence. I feel for your wife, who is probably so cowed that she is not allowed to access the internet. If your "intelligence" is indicative (look it up) of the education your wife will be giving your children, you and yours are setting this country back 200 years, when only rich boys were privileged enough to be educated.

    Then again, that appears to be Gothard's goal. Keeping 'em barefoot, pregnant and uneducated is the only way to keep 'em in the barn. Thank the flying spaghetti monster that "Ruth" and others like her escaped the life of drudgery and apparent abuse "men" like you and your fathers tried to offer them.

  32. Hey Aron, I may agree with you. I could totally see God getting you and Ruth together... so she would see the light and GET THE HELL OUT OF YOUR CULT, and FAST!!!

    Ruth, so glad to read that you could laugh at this, because I couldn't stop! He sounds like a 12 year old! $70,000? He must count a lot better than he can spell...

    Wow. Just... wow.

  33. He sounds like a child, with the temper of a toddler. It's people like you, "Aron", who are more likely to drive people from Christianity rather than to it.

  34. He can't spell simple words like blaming, yourself, surprise, confidently, adoring, impure, influence, role.

    But he can spell MASTURBATE and WHORE. Give this boy an XXX on his spelling test!

    Enough said.

  35. more love here from another poor single whore, who on top of it is carrying a bastard child with her boyfriend.... what do you think of that, ex fiance?

    Thanks for publishing this, because it made me laugh - and made me a little angry as well.

    long time lurker/reader, first time commenter

  36. So....... You're a whore for abandoning this dude to look for actual love, while to point out to you the fact he thinks you should have stayed, he lists his income.

    This is like, the opposite of whore behavior lol, abandoning a relationship with money to go look for actual love.

    Given the writing style, however, I seriously doubt the 70,000 is true. What IS his job? Perhaps his wife is doing all the work editing a new book for Gothard, but of course, you're the one getting paid because she's a woman.

  37. Hey ladies, I will be happy to host the first Poor Single Whore's Club meeting. There will be movies and terrific food and a chocolate fountain. Then we will drink wine and praise the deity of our choosing that we are SMART poor single whores who ran like hell from asshats like Aron. Who's with me?

  38. Just like today, many would-be lovers from the middle-ages had to put up with rejection from the “the object of his great desire”, as this peopm about unrequited love shows…

    “I was living pleasantly, serenely and peacefully
    the day that Love entered my heart,
    for I neither loved nor was loved,
    nor did I feel any ill or injury from love.
    Now I do not know what love is or what it is all about,
    for I am in love with a lady who does not love me at all,
    and yet, all that I possess I have from her
    and I would have the whole world from her if it were mine.

    II. I have my feelings from her in place of other riches,
    and my songs in place of knightly valour,
    and if I were a king, a duke or an emir
    I would accomplish splendid deeds of prowess for love of her,
    but lacking the power that befits them,
    for serving her I have my noble faith,
    and when she has clearly recognized it,
    she ought to accept noble faith in place of other riches”.

    Full poem:

  39. Unhinged, scary, uneducated, stupid, and whats worst, and abuser in controll!!!! This is total BS!!! He thinks he could sue you/make you stand trial??? Wow. Sure makes me wonder where he earned 70,000! Honestly, I couldn't even understand parts of his letter, thanks to his poor grammar. I really hope he comes back here to hear all the godly-man-in-authority-bashing! He flaunts his success in your face like you are a piece of trash. He says he had no problem proposing marriage cuz he knew you would reject him. What I have to say, is that his wife did not get much better than what he thinks you are!!!
    Anyway....when you start the Poor Happy Whore club, sign me up!! :)

  40. First, yes, he's someone to avoid for sure. Interesting that a second woman also refused him. Second, what hideous education or lack of it. Third, what an arrogant jerk. Fourth, someone truly secure in himself, his life, and his decisions would have moved on and would not have any need to even consider where you are, what you are doing, or that you ever knew each other. All he has revealed are his own insecurities and immaturities and proved by sending the email that he has not grown and moved on. You are fortunate to have seen him for what he was at the time and escaped being saddled with such a poor excuse for a man.

  41. "I don't love you but I care for you in GODS way."

    Dude, stop it. You're making the Almighty look bad. 'Cause let me tell you, if this is how God cares for people, we're better off without Him. Christianity: you're doin' it wrong.

    Funny as I found this... Seriously, the worst insult he could find is "whore"? Words have meanings, Aron; please consult a dictionary. And the accusation that was supposed to turn Ruth's readership against her was a claim that she masturbated?! Oh, noes! The horror! The terror! The shame! ...Oh, wait, that's both harmless and completely normal. You need to get out more, Aron. And your measure of your own moral worth is that you claim to make $70,000 a year? Wow. Completely miss the point, much?

    So, yeah, as funny as I find this, I'm also disappointed. For one thing, it's a remarkably pathetic display. Mainly, though, I'd really hoped that Aron had realized that he'd acted badly, and at least made an effort to improve his behavior - if not directly make amends. Evidently not.

    (Admittedly, I'm getting the story secondhand, but I don't see anything in Aron's e-mail to make me think that Ruth's account of events was dishonest or incorrect in any substantial way. Especially since his big argument for why he should be credible is that he's married and has a reasonable income.)

  42. If you ever needed proof that you did exactly the right thing in leaving. . .there it is.

  43. He accuses you of lying?! Word...everything in that letter just proved that you were telling the truth. His awful character shines through every word in that stupid letter. He just shot himself in the foot.

  44. Hello Ruth,
    I have been reading your blog for a bit and though I would take the opportunity to speak up. I have had some dealings with this type of “Christianity”. I was raised in a home school coop that had some of the hallmark traits of the beginnings of a cult. I believe there was Gothardist influence in it. It was pretty destructive for many of the children that grew up in it. Ruth, I would encourage you to continue to read the Bible and try to understand the circumstances that the various chapters were written in and what issues were being addressed. The Bible is full of warnings about these kinds of “religions”. Compare the super patriarch movement to people that Ezekiel 22:28-29 is speaking about to. These people are doing all kinds of heinous things
    Her prophets whitewash these deeds for them by false visions and lying divinations. They say, ‘This is what the Sovereign LORD says’—when the LORD has not spoken. The people of the land practice extortion and commit robbery; they oppress the poor and needy and mistreat the foreigner, denying them justice.
    Arrogance and self righteousness seem like a consistent trait among Gothardists. Gothard’s teachings claim is that the will of the father in a household is the will of God and it is that simple. For me, that is outrageous if not plain idolatry. Moreover, it seems scary to pigeon hole God like that. The truth is, it sounds a lot like expecting people to listen to me rather than directly to God. Gothard makes me consider verses like 2 Peter 2:1-3.

    But there were also false prophets among the people, just as there will be false teachers among you. They will secretly introduce destructive heresies, even denying the sovereign Lord who bought them—bringing swift destruction on themselves. Many will follow their depraved conduct and will bring the way of truth into disrepute. In their greed these teachers will exploit you with fabricated stories. Their condemnation has long been hanging over them, and their destruction has not been sleeping.

    “Tell your adorring readers that I offered you a home...a ring...a place in a faithful union called by GOD. I make $70,000 a year...”

    I get very concerned when people pretend to know God’s will. The idea of being a “super elite Christian” is not new. Aside from the obvious biblical issues with arrogance and self righteousness, there are plenty of biblical references to speaking on God’s behalf without his direction to. For example, Jeremiah 23:34-36

    If a prophet or a priest or anyone else claims, ‘This is a message from the LORD,’ I will punish them and their household. This is what each of you keeps saying to your friends and other Israelites: ‘What is the LORD’s answer?’ or ‘What has the LORD spoken?’ But you must not mention ‘a message from the LORD’ again, because each one’s word becomes their own message. So you distort the words of the living God, the LORD Almighty, our God.

    I would encourage you to carefully consider some of the aspects of your faith. If you believe that God is real, fear him and fear falsely thinking or speaking on his behalf. He is a living God and I don’t think He is joking about this.

  45. Wow, lol! I'm glad you can laugh at it. I'm glad you left.

    Yeah I'm wondering with the rest of them, why is he writing you when he's so "over" you and has a "beautiful godly wife" and a bunch of kids?? yeah makes no sense.

    Oh and this email from him almost makes me wish I were single again so I could join the Single Whores Club ;)

  46. Glad to hear his wife "is accepting the roll." Bread is delicious.

  47. Be content that your offspring will be able to spell, Ruth. And use correct grammar. I read this to my religious coworker and we spent a good 20 minutes mocking him.

    Good times!

    I'm just stunned that it's been years and this guy is still engaged in this matter. I weep for his kids.

    And what a great sell for your cult, ehm religion, Mr. Ruth Reject. Makes me want to leave my job. It's a shame you can't take multiple wives so the single whores club could be rescued by you.

    BTW, 70,000 dollars a year doesn't go far when you are trying to feed a small army. Good luck with that.

  48. Does his dad pay him $70,000 a year? Not sure who'd employ someone this vindictive. But then again, other "patriarch" probably admire his "wisdom" far more than your mere "book learnin'" ......Not that you need reminding--but you are well rid of him.

  49. I am glad you can laugh at this Ruth! It shows you are growing past your horrible experiences and healing. I am so happy for you.

    I second those who want to start a Single Whore Club, can I join?! We can sit around and eat cupcakes and talk about cute guys!

    I am so happy you are free of this man and with a great guy like Harris.

  50. I am speechless.
    This uneducated man needs to go to college, to learn to spell.

    What kind job pays 70 grand to a dude who obviously does not have an education. What does he do, rob the poor?

    Thank God in heaven above you did not marry that guy!

  51. Can we stop hating on poor spellers? My husband can't spell, yet he is neither uneducated or stupid. He's also nothing like this crazy Ruth Reject (I love that!).

  52. Ditto to what Sean and Lewis said!

    Keep going, Ruth!

    I will pray for his wife and children.

  53. congratulations!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  54. Jeeze, his poor wife! Also, congratulations!!!

  55. wow. and they wonder why...i'm so glad you're out of that mess.
    i've also got a question for you. i've started a blog and would like to post a link (specifically this post) and blog about it a little. my e-mail is if you want to e-mail me about it.

  56. I'm with the other commenters who wish they were single so I could join the poor single whore club, too! Wow, you were lucky to escape this idiot. I wonder who the other smart woman was, and if being forcibly engaged to him also caused her to flee the cult?

    You are in SO MUCH BETTER a place now! I'm very happy that you can laugh about this, WITH Harris, and be grateful you dodged this bullet!

  57. Please add me to the Poor Happy Whore club! These comments have been cracking me up.

    I especially enjoyed his rant that you MASTURBATED.Even if that's true, it's laughable to think that you would have told him about it. No one would buy that ridiculous lie Aron. You touched your secret spot, that means YER GOIN TA HEL! I tried to spell it that way so Aron would get it.

    I sincerely feel sorry for his wife and children. I cannot imagine having to live with this egomaniacal abusive whack job. The fact that he really believes that he is doing God's work, plus his obvious mental instability makes him very dangerous in my opinion. Please be careful.

    Ruth, you dodged a bullet for sure. I cannot imagine the misery that your life would have been with this jackhole.

  58. Long time reader, first time commenter. I'm also poor and single and would be proud to join the poor single whores club. Generally speaking I think we're a good bunch of people!

    Conclusion: he's a drug dealer. No way any other job would pay $70K a year to somebody who writes like that and has such a temper. Yup, drug dealer.

  59. Sign me up for whatever job this guy has! If he can make 70 grand a year despite an inability to spell and truly belligerent tone, then I guess I can too!

  60. "Glad to hear his wife 'is accepting the roll.' Bread is delicious." Thanks heaps, Cari, I just blew coffee out my nose. ;-) And I'm honored to submit my own application for the Poor Happy Whore Club, too!!!

  61. If reject adds like he spells there is likely more than one extra zero on that 70k. Someone needs to clue his wife in that many restaurants offer free bread baskets and she can have all the "rolls" she wants without putting up with the jackass she married.

  62. Just in case it wasn't already terrifically obvious that you made the right decision, this letter confirms everything. I'm glad that you can laugh at it with Haris because it is truly absurd.

  63. It's really a sad when all a man values in his wife is her womb and her willingness to be his slave. And when a man values himself only for the money he makes and the children he's sired. I pity the woman who got this piece of crap.

    @Pink Satin Sashes

    "Aron" doesn't need to go to college, he needs to go back to grade school. Maybe some remedial third grade classes will teach him how to spell.

  64. Education isn't smartness... well, I'm more likely to respect a man who can spell, use proper grammar, and who is courteous and kind. This entire little diatribe lacks Christian charity and humility. It is full of pride and rage. And what does the Book of Genesis tell us about pride?

    That through pride, sin entered the world.

    Get off your high horse, Aron. Seek the gentle humility of the Lord and calm your rage. The Lord is not a God of selfish, self-righteous, angry, resentful men. He is the God of love and life. The God who emptied Himself and became a humble servant.

    I pray for all those who attempt to make God and Scripture in their own image.

  65. Gosh, what a catch. I know I'd be just devastated to lose out on such a classy, honest, respectful guy. I think I freakin' sprained something in my eyes, I rolled them so hard. I love it when people try to make others feel bad and fail so spectacularly; it's nice to see them exposed for the genuinely bad people they are without having to do anything. This buffoon couldn't have proved your point any better. I'm very glad you have nothing to do with him and didn't end up wasting your life on someone who wouldn't appreciate you.

  66. Well, college doesn't equal smartness, but being so sanctified doesn't give you any help in the spelling department.

    Good riddance and good for you - I'm glad you were smarter at 17 than to marry someone like him.

  67. I love how the only word he knows how to spell correctly is "masturbated".

  68. There but for the grace of God. You are a strong, strong woman Ruth.
    Thank heavens the way was shown to you.
    Imagine a life with such a 'provider' instead of the amazing partner you have now?

    I don't know how you did it. I often wonder when I reflect on your story if I'd ever have had your strength & courage to do the same. I'm thankful never to have had made such a choice. You should be so proud of what you've made of your life.

    Jacquie D

  69. Wow, I bet you're sure sorry to have missed out on this fellow. What a catch! In all seriousness, while I'm lauging uproariously at this dude's tenuous grasp on the English language, I'm crying at his even more tenuous grasp on what makes a decent human being.

    Hey, Aron's wife! If you've managed to sneak onto the internet and read this, come find me in Austin! I'll bake you all the rolls you could eat, and you'll no longer be subjugated to abuse.

    Ruth, I'm so happy that you can laugh at this! It's wonderful that you're moving on from your past, getting a real education, doing what you want with your life, and finding out what real love is.

  70. Ha ha, oh horror, you masturbated and liked a kiss! YOU SLUT!!! ;-) Oh my gosh, ladies, and does that mean that we are all whores because we like sex? OF COURSE IT DOES!!!

    So funny. Slut, whore, ugly... all language that has been used historically to quiet women who do not meet male-created (unfair & sexist) standards. You are right, Ruth, his mind really does work differently if he feels that posting THAT would in any way sway anyone (male OR female!) to his way of thinking. It amazes me still, although it shouldn't, that people from violent counter-culture groups truly don't get that their views are considered violent, subversive, and uneducated. What did he really hope to accomplish?

  71. Education isn't smartness.

    This sentence says it all, doesn't it?

  72. This comment has been removed by the author.

  73. Homeboy should explore the concept of education that he's so down on a little more. Perhaps he could learn about the English language, which he seems to hate. But then, he seems to hate everything.

    Ruth, I'm so glad you're able to laugh at this craziness now. His hatred and vileness just seeped through this email in a way that I found upsetting as a reader. What a scary, mentally unbalanced guy. I'm so glad you escaped that "relationship". And I feel so sorry for his wife and, worse, children.

  74. Geez, what a crazy ignorant man! I feel horrible for the woman and children in that home. And congratulations!!!

  75. PS - with regards to the whole liking sex in terms of Christianity thing. Why on earth would God have given us the ability to have the big "O" if he hadn't intended us to fully enjoy it? (Whether there's another person in the room with you or not...) Enough of that suppression already, sheesh!

  76. Spelling spelling spelling!! And grammar!! This email made me laugh, and the horrible spelling made it better.

    Good on you Ruth for being strong. And I'm so happy that you're recovering. :D

  77. I've been thinking about this letter and I suspect that part of what underlies Aron's anger is that Ruth, a mere woman, walked away from her father's control and he cannot walk away from his. Buried in the sentence "I prayed and God told me that my father was right that I had to ask you for your hand" is the clear command from Aron's dad "I had to ask you for your hand". As someone else pointed out, it's hard to imagine anyone as badly educated as Aron making $70,000 a year unless he's working in an established family business. So Aron is under daddy's thumb but Ruth, younger and female, walked away from hers, and despite hard luck and struggles, did not go running back. I'm sure he is hoping for lightning to strike her at any moment, so the nagging little voice in his head that says, "You do too have choices, but you're afraid to make them" will shut up already.

  78. Ruth, congratulations for escaping from such a horrible arrangement. Honestly it's probably a good thing you were engaged to such a cretin. If your father had arranged a match with a less grotesque person then perhaps you would have accepted and you would still be stuck in a destructive cult, probably with 4 or 5 kids of your own by now, and you would never have been able to have the experiences and the freedom that is now yours.

    If you've never read it, I would *highly* suggest reading the book "Infidel" by Ayaan Hirsi Ali. She is a hero of mine who escaped from an arranged marriage as well. The backlash from friends and family mirror "Darth Daddy" and "Aron"'s words almost exactly. Fundamentalist religions are all cut form the same cloth, whether Christian, Muslim, or any other breed of insanity.

    Good luck on your future. It sounds like you've got a good head on your shoulders and will make smart decisions that will get you to an even better place in life.

  79. Wow. Just wow. So glad you made your escape from the monster, and don't have to live with that hideousness forever. Because any time being married to him would feel like forever. His poor wife. Especially after the 20/20 special Friday, I have been thinking about you, and am so glad you are out of your family's sphere of influence.

  80. Hey, dude - how does your wife feel about your continued obsession with your ex and her masturbation habits?

  81. Thank GOD that you, Ruth, did not want what your "daddy" had set up for you with this "man."

    I agree with the others here though, I will be praying for this man's poor, Poor, POOR children.


  82. I am glad you "missed out" on this guy.


    He's an idiot. And he gives conservative Christians a bad name.

    I am a little scared for his wife. His laudation of her doesn't match up with his attitude and I'm tempted to speculate that it's bragging for the benefit of the public, while he degrades her at home. I don't know that it is possible to have such a bitter, abusive personality and not have that spill out on the ones closest to him and the most vulnerable.

  83. I feel so sorry for his wife. That poor woman....I'm praying for her.

  84. Wow. That's quite the little diatribe. With the exception of the "Christianity" parts, he sounds a lot like my almost-ex-husband.

    It's a very good thing you got away from him and from all of that. I'm a homeschool grad, K-12, but none of my family life was ever like what you went through. I'm happy to say I've never known a family like that. We did not do the whole Gothard thing and the few families I know who participated in any way are now broken beyond repair.

  85. If that was unprovoked, that e-mail is basically a total admission that whoever he is, he's tired of his wife & obsessing about how he can conquer the girl he always wanted. As a dude, you just don't spend that much energy coming up with ways to try to bring someone back and make yourself the hero in your own head if you haven't been obsessing about her for a very very very long time, and pretty dissatisfied with how your own life turned out. I've known a few dudes who held grudges against high school girls who rejected them, and whether they admit it or not, it's always that they think the deep sadness they have over their inability to love their own wife is being turned into rage at their "first love" that they think would've worked out better, and not realizing the problems they are creating are their own.

    Make sense?

    I'm 99% sure that's what this is (assuming it was unprovoked. Is really sad for his wife & kids who are bearing the emotional, spiritual, and probably physical bruises of his anger.

  86. I literally laughed out loud at the masturbation accusation.
    But the rest of it just sickened me. His poor, poor family. The fact that another woman from this brainwashed cult actually managed to reject him before he got his claws into his current wife... well that says it all.

  87. I love the irony that the email meant to exonerate him just proves every point you ever made about him and the whole lifestyle.

  88. Ruth, how could you let a catch like this slip through your fingers?!

  89. What woman wouldn't want the loving abuse this guy brings into anyone's life?

  90. wow.. All I can say is wow and I feel for his wife and kids.

  91. "Being a TRUE WOMAN is accepting the roll GOD MADE YOU TO PERFORM."

    Spoken like an abuser, really. I'm flashing back to my abuser pulling similar crap -- it was "God's Will" that I be punished, because I dared to have my own mind.

    I'm really happy for you, for getting out of that situation. Best of luck in your healing and your life.

  92. Holy cow, I don't know where to start.

    Ruth, you don't need to be told again that it was great that you got away from this man (and I use that term loosely - no real man would go off on a ridiculous diatribe like this.)

    He certainly doesn't make a good case for the school of the dining room table. He can't spell, he has no grasp of grammar, he can't organize his thoughts. All he can do is poorly rant.

    I'm married now, but by his classifications, I was a whore. I went to college, got a good job, and dated men. But for some reason, my daddy didn't mind... go figure. ;)

    And masturbating! Oh no! You did something completely natural and normal. For shame. (Yet again, we see another manifestation of the patriarchal hegemony - deny the woman her natural sexuality in hopes of keeping her "in her place".)

    Mr. Unhinged Ex-Fiancé, you need to cut your ego and arrogance, and change your thinking and behavior. You have a wife and children that deserve more than a daddy dictator.

  93. Ya, I know all to well about Indianapolis, I was there! I was on "staff" for over a year! Then I was shipped off to Oklahoma to build another cult house for Mr Gothard...I am glad I got away from all of them! I would love to meet this fool that spoke to you this way...give me his email, I probably know him! Email me at mrtibbs405@gmail. com let's talk, you probably know my little sister! God bless!!!

  94. I'm going to suppress my first, second and third thoughts, as they are wholly irrational, and others have said them well enough.

    But I think that I should speak out in fairness. I am not one, ordinarily, to speak in support of the patrarichy, much less this particular model. I think it biases even good-hearted and well-meaning people to do harm unto one another with the very best of intentions.

    However, at the same time, let us do remember that most people, most of the time, try to do the best they can by the lights they know, and that ordinarily, their judgement will change given better light.

    On the other hand, there IS evil in this world, and it prospers by explointing people who are trying to do good while beliving that the darkness is a sort of special light.

    This man is evil, and a rapist, and a perp. And he'd be that whatever justification he claimed. He would claim some justification, of course, that's how he gains access to victims.

    So he's not *definitive* of even Gothard style life, or religion. But at the same time, the fact that that sytle of life and religion makes such a lovely hunting ground for such evil *is* a criticism.

    BTW, do check this out: While it's written by a noted pagan, I have actually seen it in use in christian cultwatch ministries, and it's widely cited in secular use. A generally handy rule of thumb.

  95. I just found your blog recently and read through the whole thing. I know this was a while ago, but I wanted to comment and say that I find this E-mail a bit sad. I'm a so glad you didn't marry this guy, but it's clear that he was raised just like you and that he believed the things told to him. It is so sad that he feels like a home and money is all that anyone could ask for. It is so sad that he feels like his life is better than yours just because he has a wife and kids as if you were an old woman who didn't have several years ahead of her to get married and have kids if you chose to. I also find it sad that he thinks 70 thousand a year is a lot of money and that he's rich or something. Yeah, it's a lot if you have like no kids or just a couple, but my family makes about 60k a year and we can pay our bills and have a little extra to go out, but I'm certainly not buying designer clothes or anything. And by my family, I mean my fiance and I. Add five kids in and I am sure we'd be dirt poor. This poor guy needs help and so does his wife. I'm sure it's too late, but I just find it so sad that so many kids end up like him.

  96. Who will people believe? Um... I believe you, Ruth. I feel sorry for his children.

    And "sweet agony"? Who the heck talks like that?

  97. Somebody pays him $70000 a year? Did he just spell his own name wrong?

  98. This is my first visit to this blog, and pretty much all I know about the situation and the people involved so far is coming from this letter. My conclusion: Congratulations on being free of this whackjob, Lady Ruth! I am going to be praying so hard for the wife and children who are not so fortunate.

  99. Boy you sure dodged a bullet there, Ruth! :) So glad you were able to choose your own man who is a far better man than the slime that wrote that awful letter. I'd be so embarrassed if a child I taught to read and write wrote a letter like that! LOL!

  100. Ruthie..i have been reading several of your post's and i have tear's in my eyes. The paticular post from above has me astounded. What an evil ugly spirit blantently disregarding the very commandmant's of God to love and to display the fruit's of the spirit.Can you imagine had you married this guy? The life of abuse in word and deed? Remember dear.God promised He would be a Father to the fatherless. Your family is making a mockerly out of the gospel of Jesus Christ.God heal's ruthie.Right now i have never felt so much anger for a 'family i never met who appear's to be calling good evil and evil good.


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