I'm doing well. Still recovering from the accident a few months ago. I took a break from blogging to concentrate on school and getting healthy. I took the paypal link down because some were talking about my not thanking them and I realized that they were absolutely right. I hadn't been keeping up with the thank yous like I once had and that meant I wasn't keeping up with the sort of person I want to be. Harris and I are well, as a couple. We're seeing where the road takes us.
Love to you all. I will try to blog more as school gets less crazy and I get my summer plans firmed up.
Sunday, March 13, 2011
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
Pro-life/Pro-Choice
The good news is: my brother managed to send me a few pictures from when I was little (Harris' mom wanted them for a project). The bad news is: they triggered a few memories that I would've rather forgotten.
Picture number one was of me sitting on the porch with my siblings. We're all dressed in our "best" and holding picket signs. My little sister is holding that famous "pro-life" sign showing the aborted fetus. At the time, I thought that that's what an aborted fetus looked like. Later, much much later, I heard that that picture was really an eighteen week fetus that had been miscarried. I know abortion is a touchy subject and the point of this blog isn't pro-life/pro-choice - what I'm really angered about is that at such a young age, my siblings and I were made to be show pieces for the "pro-life travelling show". We would get together with other families in the area and stand on corners holding up our signs. We only knew abortion from the twisted and really black-and-white lectures we were given. On FJ, someone said that she resented people who were like us (like I used to be) because it took the decision to talk about abortion with her children in her own time away from her and she's absolutely right. Not only is she right about her child, but she's right about the children participating in the protest. ATI/QF wants to talk about protecting children from the world and keeping their hearts innocent - and then they go and shove a three year old in front of traffic and shove a sign showing a botched abortion in their hand! For the record - I was told that abortions were the result of ONLY pre-marital, teen sex, OR affairs. Because, as it was explained to me, what women in her God designed relationship would even consider turning down that blessing? I was told that the women who had abortions WOULD get some sort of cancer (breast cancer, I think) or an STD. Still- mainly- we didn't even discuss it as much as we were shoved out there to protest something we couldn't possibly understand at such a young age.
Picture number two is me holding a baby (I think I know which one but it could be one of our guests' babies). I'm smiling - but I'm looking off to the left of camera and I'm holding the baby like it has a smelly diaper or it has a contagious disease. Yep, that was my childhood and my job- the baby holder. :/
Picture number three is my older brother's "graduation" from homeschool. It's probably one of the last pictures my family ever took of me in the house. What makes me choke up isn't the picture - it's the house and the people in it. I miss my siblings so much. I miss certain things about that house. But, the pow-pow stick (labeled "Discipline" with paint) gives me chills. That came along when I was a little older, so I didn't get it as much - but some of my sisters did. And there it is in the picture of my brother's graduation - lurking in the background. WTF?
That's it though. Those are the pictures my brother could get for me - an abortion rally, holding a stinky baby, and at a homeschool graduation with the threat of discipline hanging around. Yes. My life in pictures.
Then, I look around my room here and see the pictures I have tacked around. Harris and I at his parents this Christmas. Me and a hiking pal on top of a peak. Me with a friend swimming in a mountain creek. The boys from my nanny gig and I with paintball paint on us and another of us from a Chuck E Cheese photo booth. These are the pictures I should have from my childhood.
Picture number one was of me sitting on the porch with my siblings. We're all dressed in our "best" and holding picket signs. My little sister is holding that famous "pro-life" sign showing the aborted fetus. At the time, I thought that that's what an aborted fetus looked like. Later, much much later, I heard that that picture was really an eighteen week fetus that had been miscarried. I know abortion is a touchy subject and the point of this blog isn't pro-life/pro-choice - what I'm really angered about is that at such a young age, my siblings and I were made to be show pieces for the "pro-life travelling show". We would get together with other families in the area and stand on corners holding up our signs. We only knew abortion from the twisted and really black-and-white lectures we were given. On FJ, someone said that she resented people who were like us (like I used to be) because it took the decision to talk about abortion with her children in her own time away from her and she's absolutely right. Not only is she right about her child, but she's right about the children participating in the protest. ATI/QF wants to talk about protecting children from the world and keeping their hearts innocent - and then they go and shove a three year old in front of traffic and shove a sign showing a botched abortion in their hand! For the record - I was told that abortions were the result of ONLY pre-marital, teen sex, OR affairs. Because, as it was explained to me, what women in her God designed relationship would even consider turning down that blessing? I was told that the women who had abortions WOULD get some sort of cancer (breast cancer, I think) or an STD. Still- mainly- we didn't even discuss it as much as we were shoved out there to protest something we couldn't possibly understand at such a young age.
Picture number two is me holding a baby (I think I know which one but it could be one of our guests' babies). I'm smiling - but I'm looking off to the left of camera and I'm holding the baby like it has a smelly diaper or it has a contagious disease. Yep, that was my childhood and my job- the baby holder. :/
Picture number three is my older brother's "graduation" from homeschool. It's probably one of the last pictures my family ever took of me in the house. What makes me choke up isn't the picture - it's the house and the people in it. I miss my siblings so much. I miss certain things about that house. But, the pow-pow stick (labeled "Discipline" with paint) gives me chills. That came along when I was a little older, so I didn't get it as much - but some of my sisters did. And there it is in the picture of my brother's graduation - lurking in the background. WTF?
That's it though. Those are the pictures my brother could get for me - an abortion rally, holding a stinky baby, and at a homeschool graduation with the threat of discipline hanging around. Yes. My life in pictures.
Then, I look around my room here and see the pictures I have tacked around. Harris and I at his parents this Christmas. Me and a hiking pal on top of a peak. Me with a friend swimming in a mountain creek. The boys from my nanny gig and I with paintball paint on us and another of us from a Chuck E Cheese photo booth. These are the pictures I should have from my childhood.
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Again with the drama.
I have written and re-written this post. At the end of all the re-writing, I've decided to go back to my original draft because -well - I guess there are things that need to be said and need to be aired.
This e-mail came in two days ago.
"Ruth" I don't know if you know but Vyckie has outed you and not in a good way. Your name is "XXXX XXXXXX". You grew up in XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX,XX. Your father is XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX. You need to know she is not a friendly. Vyckie is two-faced.
My first instinct was to e-mail Vyckie. After all, that's what I've done before when someone tried to stir up drama. I support the goal of NLQ and since Vyckie is the founder, I supported her. What stopped me this time was the fact that the name the e-mail contained is the name Vyckie, and only Vyckie, had been told and knew. The town mentioned was the town I grew up in.
So, as I see it now, there are two options. Either Vyckie has betrayed my confidence or someone from my family has found another ally to continue picking at the scab. Both options make me feel ill. Before I could make a decision about what to do and who to confront, I received another e-mail.
"Ruth, did you know Vyckie is telling people you received money at Christmas from the Tina Anderson Foundation? I donated to them specifically for you. Why didn't you make a post thanking them? You owe them publicity for their generosity."
This puzzled me further. FOR THE RECORD: I RECEIVED NOTHING FROM THIS FOUNDATION. Here is what I know. Before Christmas, during the time of my accident, an e-mail came in from Vyckie. I didn't see it right away because of the accident and other circumstances. The e-mail said:
Ruth, I hope you are feeling much better and recovering well from the accident. I received the following note from Jocelyn Zichterman:
"You seem to know Razin Ruth personally and it seems that on her blog she is trying to stay anonymous. So we are in a little predicament. We want to surprise her (Tina Anderson Foundation) with a money gift for Christmas. But in order to do that, since we are a non-profit, we have to document to the government who we gave the money to and why. I also need her address, to send this gift on to her.
Do you think you could have some preliminary conversation with her asap, and let her know that we would keep her identity 100% confidential---never to reveal it---but that we just need it for our private records. We'd LOVE to send her a little something and get it to her before Christmas. I plan to run out Monday morning to get the gift cards. If she has any specific needs too...just let me know. Hopefully you can fish for details without giving too much away:):)"
So now I'm wondering if you could be this person for us? Or do you know of anyone else who knows her?
Thanks so much! Just hoping to relieve some of her pressure over Christmas. Joc.:):)
You can respond to Jocelyn directly at: jocelyn*******@gmail.com
I didn't respond until AFTER Christmas. I wrote to Jocelyn and Vyckie and I never heard back from either of them. Also, to be clear, I said I was wary of giving away my identifying information, regardless. I found it odd that neither Jocelyn, nor Vyckie, responded to my response.
Now I get this e-mail saying people donated through this foundation because they thought they were helping me and I feel strangely. The foundation looks legit but I never received a return e-mail or a penny. If you donated, please contact me because I feel horrible that my name is being used in this manner. Hopefully, this is all one big misunderstanding and there's a logical explanation.
What I do know is that my family wouldn't have known about the e-mail from Vyckie regarding the Tina Anderson Foundation. I welcome someone who can give me a logical explanation of what is going on.
This feels like crap.
What is going on?
I don't know that either or both or neither of these people is doing anything wrong but something doesn't feel right. This is my plea to everyone involved to discuss this publicly so that there's no more "using" going on. If the emailer is using Vyckie or TAF to try to instigate drama, then they're awful and I'll feel awful for putting all of this out here but I don't see a way around it right now. Part of me starting this blog was to put the use or abuse of others in the light of day - either way, I'm being used and I hate it. Why continue the blog or the story if it's to be used?
I'm sorry to ramble and rant but I'm sick of it.
This e-mail came in two days ago.
"Ruth" I don't know if you know but Vyckie has outed you and not in a good way. Your name is "XXXX XXXXXX". You grew up in XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX,XX. Your father is XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX. You need to know she is not a friendly. Vyckie is two-faced.
My first instinct was to e-mail Vyckie. After all, that's what I've done before when someone tried to stir up drama. I support the goal of NLQ and since Vyckie is the founder, I supported her. What stopped me this time was the fact that the name the e-mail contained is the name Vyckie, and only Vyckie, had been told and knew. The town mentioned was the town I grew up in.
So, as I see it now, there are two options. Either Vyckie has betrayed my confidence or someone from my family has found another ally to continue picking at the scab. Both options make me feel ill. Before I could make a decision about what to do and who to confront, I received another e-mail.
"Ruth, did you know Vyckie is telling people you received money at Christmas from the Tina Anderson Foundation? I donated to them specifically for you. Why didn't you make a post thanking them? You owe them publicity for their generosity."
This puzzled me further. FOR THE RECORD: I RECEIVED NOTHING FROM THIS FOUNDATION. Here is what I know. Before Christmas, during the time of my accident, an e-mail came in from Vyckie. I didn't see it right away because of the accident and other circumstances. The e-mail said:
Ruth, I hope you are feeling much better and recovering well from the accident. I received the following note from Jocelyn Zichterman:
"You seem to know Razin Ruth personally and it seems that on her blog she is trying to stay anonymous. So we are in a little predicament. We want to surprise her (Tina Anderson Foundation) with a money gift for Christmas. But in order to do that, since we are a non-profit, we have to document to the government who we gave the money to and why. I also need her address, to send this gift on to her.
Do you think you could have some preliminary conversation with her asap, and let her know that we would keep her identity 100% confidential---never to reveal it---but that we just need it for our private records. We'd LOVE to send her a little something and get it to her before Christmas. I plan to run out Monday morning to get the gift cards. If she has any specific needs too...just let me know. Hopefully you can fish for details without giving too much away:):)"
So now I'm wondering if you could be this person for us? Or do you know of anyone else who knows her?
Thanks so much! Just hoping to relieve some of her pressure over Christmas. Joc.:):)
You can respond to Jocelyn directly at: jocelyn*******@gmail.com
I didn't respond until AFTER Christmas. I wrote to Jocelyn and Vyckie and I never heard back from either of them. Also, to be clear, I said I was wary of giving away my identifying information, regardless. I found it odd that neither Jocelyn, nor Vyckie, responded to my response.
Now I get this e-mail saying people donated through this foundation because they thought they were helping me and I feel strangely. The foundation looks legit but I never received a return e-mail or a penny. If you donated, please contact me because I feel horrible that my name is being used in this manner. Hopefully, this is all one big misunderstanding and there's a logical explanation.
What I do know is that my family wouldn't have known about the e-mail from Vyckie regarding the Tina Anderson Foundation. I welcome someone who can give me a logical explanation of what is going on.
This feels like crap.
What is going on?
I don't know that either or both or neither of these people is doing anything wrong but something doesn't feel right. This is my plea to everyone involved to discuss this publicly so that there's no more "using" going on. If the emailer is using Vyckie or TAF to try to instigate drama, then they're awful and I'll feel awful for putting all of this out here but I don't see a way around it right now. Part of me starting this blog was to put the use or abuse of others in the light of day - either way, I'm being used and I hate it. Why continue the blog or the story if it's to be used?
I'm sorry to ramble and rant but I'm sick of it.
Sunday, January 16, 2011
Life with the Turners
I left the courts that day with the Kleins and Turners. The Turners were given a temporary guardianship of me. To clarify, because it seems like some people in comments might be thinking otherwise, I was not technically or legally emancipated, nor was I made a true ward of the court. The decision for me to go to the Turners was a compromise.
The terms were pretty simple. I would live with the Turners, but my parnets would have the ability to contact me 24/7 and make any major medical or educational decisions. In some ways, my parents didn't do themselves any favors by homeschooling me because homeschooling allowed me to "graduate" young. Had they waited to have me graduate, it's possible that I would've had to attend "class" with my mom for part of the day. As it was, I only spoke with them on the phone or had the occasional meal with a family member, with the Turners or Kleins present at all times. After a few weeks, my parents stopped calling. The communication stopped and I heard that they had started telling people that I left their umbrella of protection for the world.
More later.
The terms were pretty simple. I would live with the Turners, but my parnets would have the ability to contact me 24/7 and make any major medical or educational decisions. In some ways, my parents didn't do themselves any favors by homeschooling me because homeschooling allowed me to "graduate" young. Had they waited to have me graduate, it's possible that I would've had to attend "class" with my mom for part of the day. As it was, I only spoke with them on the phone or had the occasional meal with a family member, with the Turners or Kleins present at all times. After a few weeks, my parents stopped calling. The communication stopped and I heard that they had started telling people that I left their umbrella of protection for the world.
More later.
Friday, January 14, 2011
49 Character Qualities of Ruth
Ruth, when will you continue the story?
I've given it a great amount of thought and I'm not sure that there's much story left to tell. Once I left my parents house - my life was complicated to the extreme and became a day-to-day struggle (which it still is). I'm not sure anyone's interested in the events that took place after those court hearings. What I can do is answer more questions as you all ask them. So, here's the opening - what would you like to know?
I've given it a great amount of thought and I'm not sure that there's much story left to tell. Once I left my parents house - my life was complicated to the extreme and became a day-to-day struggle (which it still is). I'm not sure anyone's interested in the events that took place after those court hearings. What I can do is answer more questions as you all ask them. So, here's the opening - what would you like to know?
Saturday, December 25, 2010
Merry Christmas
Merry Christmas blog friends!
I am slowly but surely getting back to everyday life. The leg is healing well and I hope to be starting limited physical therapy around the new year. I still have a cast on but they want me to start moving the toes and hip as much as I can.
Today was sedate but enjoyable. Harris and his family went to be with his grandparents and I felt like staying behind. Getting in and out of cars gets exhausting and road trips get a little sore. So here I am watching movies and reading.
School starts after the New Year and it looks like I'll be hobbling around campus for the second time in a year. FROWN The good news is that I don't have to drop the RA position. Really, the accident happened at a good time if you think of this in terms of school and work. I had the time to recover a little.
Harris' family has been wonderful. We had a lovely Christmas Eve and his mom gave me a pretty quilt. I had been telling her about this quilt my mom made me that I had to leave behind and she created a new one for me. It's nice to feel that motherly love again and - even if it makes me miss my own mom- I love having Harris' mom as a surrogate. I spent time making pommanders ( I think that's how it is spelled) with his mom and aunt. We had some nice chats and the house smelled like cloves for several days.
Thank you all for the Christmas wishes and get well wishes.
I am slowly but surely getting back to everyday life. The leg is healing well and I hope to be starting limited physical therapy around the new year. I still have a cast on but they want me to start moving the toes and hip as much as I can.
Today was sedate but enjoyable. Harris and his family went to be with his grandparents and I felt like staying behind. Getting in and out of cars gets exhausting and road trips get a little sore. So here I am watching movies and reading.
School starts after the New Year and it looks like I'll be hobbling around campus for the second time in a year. FROWN The good news is that I don't have to drop the RA position. Really, the accident happened at a good time if you think of this in terms of school and work. I had the time to recover a little.
Harris' family has been wonderful. We had a lovely Christmas Eve and his mom gave me a pretty quilt. I had been telling her about this quilt my mom made me that I had to leave behind and she created a new one for me. It's nice to feel that motherly love again and - even if it makes me miss my own mom- I love having Harris' mom as a surrogate. I spent time making pommanders ( I think that's how it is spelled) with his mom and aunt. We had some nice chats and the house smelled like cloves for several days.
Thank you all for the Christmas wishes and get well wishes.
Thursday, December 9, 2010
Accident, Thank You, Blogging
I'd like to thank everyone who sent well wishes through facebook, this blog, NLQ, Harris, FJ, and other places. It was nice to listen to Harris read your e-mails and comments while I was in the hospital and recovering.
Today, I'm feeling better. I'm a little out of it because of the pain medication but in the bigger scheme of things, I'm happy to be alive. The details of the accident are fuzzy but bits of things come back at strange times. Harris covered it mostly. A few friends had gathered for a movie night. One of the girls needed a ride to her parents' house about forty minutes out of town so four of us decided to go - to give the driver company on the way home. We dropped our friend off and started back to town. Crossing over the interstate, on a bridge, another driver (was was getting off the interstate) didn't see us coming over the bridge and made a left across our lane. We hit her broadside. I was in the front seat and the biggest memory I have is something punching me in the face. It happened so fast. The next thing I remember is the pain of my leg and warmth running down my face. I'm not sure what cut my face. I don't think it was glass since the glass kind of beaded up into tiny pieces and didn't seem sharp. I think it may have been plastic from the door frame? The other people in the car were hurt also. Our good friend "Margie" has a broken femur and wrist (she was the driver). We two were kind of pinned in the front seat until the Fire Department got us out. The girl in the back was sore and bruised up but she's going to be fine. The person in the car we hit was pretty banged up and I haven't heard about their injuries.
I almost didn't want Harris to say anything on the blog and I considered not saying anything myself. I know this year has been an injury fest. I don't know what to say to those who will post here doubting this. I'm not asking for anything but prayers for Maggie.
Today, I'm feeling better. I'm a little out of it because of the pain medication but in the bigger scheme of things, I'm happy to be alive. The details of the accident are fuzzy but bits of things come back at strange times. Harris covered it mostly. A few friends had gathered for a movie night. One of the girls needed a ride to her parents' house about forty minutes out of town so four of us decided to go - to give the driver company on the way home. We dropped our friend off and started back to town. Crossing over the interstate, on a bridge, another driver (was was getting off the interstate) didn't see us coming over the bridge and made a left across our lane. We hit her broadside. I was in the front seat and the biggest memory I have is something punching me in the face. It happened so fast. The next thing I remember is the pain of my leg and warmth running down my face. I'm not sure what cut my face. I don't think it was glass since the glass kind of beaded up into tiny pieces and didn't seem sharp. I think it may have been plastic from the door frame? The other people in the car were hurt also. Our good friend "Margie" has a broken femur and wrist (she was the driver). We two were kind of pinned in the front seat until the Fire Department got us out. The girl in the back was sore and bruised up but she's going to be fine. The person in the car we hit was pretty banged up and I haven't heard about their injuries.
I almost didn't want Harris to say anything on the blog and I considered not saying anything myself. I know this year has been an injury fest. I don't know what to say to those who will post here doubting this. I'm not asking for anything but prayers for Maggie.
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