Harris and I had an argument this weekend. In normal relationships, with normal, emotionally stable, that wouldn't be a big deal. Since this is really my first, mutual relationship, it took on it's own life (in my head). My parents didn't fight. It wasn't allowed, you could say. If my mother disagreed with something my father said or did, she kept her mouth shut. That's what I learned. It's the temptation I fight whenever I disagree with Harris (or anyone) and this weekend it started out the same. It was just that on this one point, even though my history was telling me to keep quiet, I reacted. Once I reacted, it felt so good I kept reacting until I was no longer reacting to the thing I was angry about. St. Harris figured that out before I did and physically left me to work it out on my own. Later, he said he was kind of glad that we'd fought and that it was "out of the way". Never in my life had I ever thought of arguing as a way to work things out because in my ATI experiences - you just go along with whatever you're dealt, as a woman/partner. The emphasis is on keeping sweet and non-conflict to the point that conflict becomes a dirty word. That's doing everyone a disservice. Conflict can be good. I think men like my father hide behind ATI/QF/Patriarchy because they can't deal with conflict. It's much easier for them to dominate by imaginary divine right. Anyway, it was just something I thought of.
That's the end of that babble.
My sister went back home. It's really hard for me to admit that because it hurts. It's her decision and I know that logically. She wasn't ready to be away - that's what I tell myself. She's still so young. My dad sent my mom, with Blessing, and another ATI family mom to get her. I wish there was more I could do.
Edit to add to this post:
Yes. I have heard that some are again doubting my story. It's their choice to doubt or believe. I'm not going to try to force them to believe or read this blog because that's not my job. The internet has people who attempt to hoax - people have been burned. I don't blame the people who question everything. It's probably the best position to take. What else can I say? If I got angry or tried to prove myself more than I have or am comfortable doing then I'm doing what I've done my whole life - letting others control me. I'm happy with my life and with the blog as it is. That's all. Thank you for making me aware.