Tuesday, April 20, 2010


Thanks to all of your fine suggestions, I got a job!

Technically, I don't get paid so I don't know if it's a "job", but I get room, board, a gas allowance and car to use, and spending money for activities with the kids. It's perfect. I was hoping to make a little money for the coming year but this will do fine (beggars can't be choosers).

The family has two children (ages 10 and 11) that will be my responsibility. The kids love to be outdoors (a definite plus!). I'll be "on the clock" Sunday night through Friday afternoon, with weekends off, unless I want to accompany the family on weekend trips. I go with them on the two week vacation, too! They have an "extra car" (that sounds so extravagant) which will be mine to shuffle the kids around in or take them on fun outings. Best of all, they may want to use me during spring breaks and winter breaks if all goes well. I'm so excited.

Now - do I tell them about my history or my blog or would those be considered "personal"?


  1. Clarifying- I didn't get the job with five kids but that mom recommended me to the family I did end up with. The family with five kids wanted someone who spoke Spanish.

  2. Yay, Ruth!!

    Congratulations! I hope you have a lot of fun this summer. Those kids are lucky. You'll be great in that position.

    I read the other thread, but didn't comment. If I were you, for now I would keep those things private. You can have a blog without reporting it to them. As you get to know them, you may feel like talking about your life--or not. Just play it by ear.

    I really admire you.

  3. I think as long as you're not blogging about the kids you aren't required to notify the parents about your blog. But if you do plan to talk about your job, even without mentioning their names, I would let the parents know. I know that as a parent, I would feel squicky if I found out my au pair was blogging about my family, even if she didn't mention their names or any identifying information.

  4. CONGRATS!! That's awesome! you will be fantastic.

  5. And personally, until you really get to know them, I'd keep it private. You can't "untell" them.

  6. Congatulations, Ruth!!! :) YAAAY!!!

    In my opinion, do NOT mention to them your blog or any personal stuff. Yes, it is tempting to open up to people who appear "nice" and "trusting", but in my opinion, it is always better to keep work life and private life separate and the less said about certain things, the less need to backtrack or worry about what seeds are planted in people's minds. People are capable of turning from nice and congenial to people who get scared of other people's pasts (those they don't understand) and become fearful and distrusting. NOPE, do not fall into that trap. Keep your work situation separate from your blogging that you are doing for therapeutic purposes. Ruth, I've been around the block of life and my conclusion is to NOT trust everyone with everything; the only person you can truly trust is yourself.

    Also, you got this job all on your own accord with your own skills and experience - congratulations again!!! As they say, "You've come a long way, baby!"



  7. I agree with Quivering Daughter 100% in the fact that you can't "untell" someone something so it's better not to say anything at all that could be used against you some day. The thing is that once you paint some kind of picture in someone's mind, then they start perceiving you that way.

    Right now, you are a totally clean and blank slate to them, they know nothing about your past. In fact, in my opinion, considering all the things that you went through, all the horrible things, it might be time to bury it and then bury the shovel when you are at work. In no way do I mean to "forget it" or pretend that it never happened, you can never do that. You can't take an "amnesia pill" and have all of your history deleted. In fact, your history is what has made you the wonderful and strong woman you are today.

    My idea is that you embrace your strength and good things happening in your life right now and run with that. Blog as you need for your therapeutic benefits, but definitely don't share with your employer those things. In fact, you need not entertain any of us or feel any pressure to do anything at all.

    We all love you Ruth, and wish all the best for you. I have children your age (and younger) and this is what I would say to them as well as they go out into the world to make their own life.



  8. I would keep your personal life personal... it's really none of their business. And it also keeps them from using that against you.

  9. Congratulations !!! :D I am so happy for you !

    I agree with the others, as long as you don't post about them, don't tell them. It's none of their business. Plus, I'd try not to get too emotionnaly involved with the family as a whole. But that's my opinion. ^^

    Can I say something not so sweet ? I feel like they should at least give you some kind of allowance even if limited. Anyways...

  10. I concur with keeping your personal life personal- there is no need to tell them about your blog if you are not going to blog about their children(which I would not suggest you do).

    I find it cute you think an "extra car" is extravagant. When you were at home how many cars did you have for your use? With so many kids I would think 2-3 would be helpful, one each for your parents and one for your older brother maybe to help run errands. My parents always had an for my nanny, and when I turned 16 the gave me it me...it already felt like mine!

    Congrats to you!

  11. Oh, I agree with Sophie, I think you should have SOME kind of allowance! Not to be crude, but how do they expect you to buy tampons and toothpaste?! With your gas allowance? Gas is EXPENSIVE these days.

    Oh, I do not mean to be bossy, BUT make sure you keep EVERY receipt when you go on outings with the kids. Everything from gas to an ice cream cone. Having those receipts ready and available every day will show them that you are responsible.

  12. Congrats! They don't need to know your past, so I wouldn't bother telling them. Obviously things like your big family and looking after siblings is going to come up in day-to-day conversation when you are spending so much time with the family, but don't feel you need to share everything. Remember that they are still your employer and both of you need to be comfortable in the situation.
    Definitely DO NOT blog about the family or especially the kids. I know it will be hard when they do something funny/amazing/inspiring, but it's just safer to keep any information off the internet. As a teacher I find it difficult to keep anecdotes to myself, but it's so important. Even without identifying the family, I think it's just too risky.
    Have a great time nannying, it is so much fun and rewarding!

  13. Don't tell the family about the blog - and don't post anything about them here (other than what you posted today). If they did find out about the blog, it would probably only be an issue to the family if they are mentioned.

  14. Contratualtions!

    There is no need to tell the family about your blog. This is your personal business, not theirs. As for telling them about your history. Go slowly and tell them only what they need for comfort. It is not a bad thing that you came from a religious family with lots of kids. Most people will accept that at face value. That is true and really all thy need to know. If they ask why you are not closer to your family, you can truthfully say that your decision to live a more secular life has created some stress in your relationship. Tell the truth, but give no details.

    I am so happy for you!

  15. Go you! The family's lucky to have you.

    I'm trying to anticipate a situation in which vague/no answers might look suspicious, but as everyone's already said, your family life is nobody else's business and your employers should take your privacy seriously. It may be that one day you'll feel comfortable telling them about your past and they'll recognise how brave you've been and how hard you've worked to reject fundamentalism and become independent (all good qualities to expose children to, imo) - but again, the choice is entirely yours.

    Since you mention the available car: did you get your licence after leaving home? What's the Gothardianite position on women driving?

  16. Congratulations! What they said - it's way too early in the relationship to go into your past in any detail. Certainly don't lie about anything, not that you would, but stick to the positive generalities. I understand it's so tempting to open up. When I was younger I was a "tell everything I know" kind of girl, and it many cases it was way too much information. I laugh when I think about what I must have sounded like to some people. There is nothing wrong with eventually sharing more about your family after they have gotten to know and trust you.

    CAVEAT: If something happens that gives you reason to believe a family member would be coming after you in some kind of scary or potentially violent way, you'll have to just come out with it. The safety of the family and children is too important. That should be unlikely, but there may come a time you have to trust your instincts.

  17. I'm a little puzzled that you're not getting paid, except in room and board. Generally, an au pair gets a small allowance, as well as use of a car for the kids. I don't know anyone outside of a family who wouldn't expect some pay.

  18. Congrats, this sounds like an awesome job. I'll agree with everyone else that you should wait to share your story. I am also estranged from my father, although he's not quite as bad as yours and I'm still close to the rest of my family. If the topic comes up, I just tell people that I'm estranged from him and don't go into further detail unless there's a good reason. Of course you shouldn't lie about anything, but there's no need to go into details yet.

  19. Don't share your history, just plain " homeschooled" is fine as far as that question goes.

    Do not blog about your job, that is important.

  20. I would think that they'd at least give you some spending money. I'm concerned about that. But you also have free rent and I hope, free food. Can you look into getting a weekend job just to make some money for school?

    I would definitely not tell them about your blog or blog too much about them. As for your family, I think you should just say that they weren't supportive of you going away to school and even though you don't see them often, you miss them terribly. That shows you are following your dream but aren't some psycho with no family.

    Good luck!!!!! I'm very happy for you. I know those kids are going to have a great summer.

  21. Glad you found something! But I agree with the commenters who are wondering how you're going to pay for basics with no income. Do you have a student loan?

  22. You might want to chat with your school resources. I'm concerned that they are attempting to skip paying employer taxes, and you might end up with some sort of tax mess, even if they're not paying you per se.

    More details are here, but you also need to check state guidelines:

  23. I have a little money left over from my student loan for this year (to buy necessities). Really, I didn't even think about asking for money on top of room and board because I was so concerned with room and board this summer. They wrote down everything they'll cover (including storage in their garage for my things for the summer) and it's pretty extensive, to the point where I don't think I'll have any needs beyond what they provide for. Maybe I'm being naive? My "salary" includes food, too. I spoke to their last nanny, who got married this year and couldn't come back. She'd been with the family, under the same arrangements, for three years before this summer and she said they were an amazing family to work for. I took that under consideration when I accepted their offer. You bring up a good point about taxes- how do I broach that topic with them without potentially ruining this? They're pretty high up in the local legal community so I can't see them doing anything illegal - still, it's a good question that I should probably ask.

  24. Ruth it sounds like you are working as an au pair which is where a student (usually a foreign one because it gives them an opportunity to be immersed in a new language) lives with a family and does chores/some childcare in return for room board and maybe a small allowance. So I'd look into the tax rules for that. It's nice you get weekends off and a vacation. Having them write everything out is probably a good sign they are anticipating your questions.

    Seconding/thirding what everyone said about how you don't owe it to tell them every detail about your life. If it comes up fine.

  25. Congratulations on your summer job. I agree with the other posters about being vague without being dishonest about your past. Also, I would be careful about accessing or updating this blog using one of their computers as well. Safer to go to the library for internet access.

  26. Congrats!!!! That's great! I am with everyone else in the keeping it private. No one's business but yours!

  27. Ruth,

    Congrats on the job! Be sure you have your responsibilities spelled out / written down. On one nanny job I had (one of my first) I did not do that and was I shocked to discover that in addition to caring for the kids I was also expected to do the housekeeping and cooking.

    As far as telling them about your past and the blog, I say keep that private for now. As others have said do not mention them or the kids on the blog and that should be fine. If things end up working out with this family you might share some of your past with them once they know you. If they asked you point blank about something you can always tell them you are not comfortable talking about that aspect of your life (unless you wanted to talk, of course).


  28. WOOHOO! I'm stoked for you getting a job. You will do wonderful. Think how much fun you will have with children and the freedom that you will have compared to what you grew up with.
    I did the same thing for a summer. I then eventually became a part of their life for 4 years while I finished college. I began to get paid once the school year hit and they realized what an asset the nanny was to the family. I really felt my time with the family I nannied for was so valuable because I was able to see how another family/couple interacted. I hope it works out wonderfully.

    I agree with others that... I would not share your blog and personal stuff so soon in the "game". Have fun this sumer

  29. I would start the tax discussion with your college's student work counselors-- make an appointment, and explain what your situation will be and ask for their interpretation of your work situation. They might not know, but they would hopefully be able to refer you to an authoritative source. Then, based on what they say, ask your employers about the tax situation. If it's couched as clarification/understanding, I think it comes across as fair and not accusatory.

  30. Definitely keep the blog private - if you must mention anything about work, keep it general x 10. I've been in the same situation and it didn't come up, but I had the satisfaction of knowing should they stumble across the blog? Absolutely nothing would make them think it was THEM being talked about - so general it could be anybody's family.

    As for personal information, just keep it generic. There's no reason for them to know all aspects of your personal life, so simple is the key!

    I too though, wondered why you wouldn't get some kind of allowance for yourself? I know some people are quick to assume most au pairs would have some kind of a savings or money for anything else they may want ... but you usually should receive SOMETHING! I didn't get much when I au paired for a family a few years ago, but I did get a small allowance to take care of basic needs.

    But still, congrats on landing a job!

  31. Good for you!

    Definitely ask about tax issues. But depending on how much you do with the kids, what they've offered may be a fair trade for your services. I guess it depends on how much room and board would cost were you to pay it yourself, and whether you could make enough to swing it on your own.

    Keep your past private. And definitely don't blog about the kids.

  32. Yes to keeping blog & past private, yes to asking about tax issues, and yes to HOORAY AND CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!

    And what CappuccinoLife said: do NOT blog about the kids. Always operate under the assumption that your blog will be found (and you've had experience with that already ;-).

  33. I know it sounds a lot to you the board and room, but what they really pay is the food so, around 200$ a month ? I'd say that makes a pretty cheap nany ;). The main problem is that if you need other things they don't provide you should have a reasonable amount to purchase it. For instance going to a Internet, a movie now and then, etc. Even if you'd keep that money to pay for school books that's your decision. I know you already accepted and all, but I think that's something to think about for later ^^. You're helping them too.

  34. Regarding the salary issue, Ruth, like someone else pointed out, perhaps food, board, the use of a car, and the paid storage for your things is a "fair trade" for your services; I don't know. Depending on where you live, rent could be very expensive. So perhaps room and board and car is pretty good. Also, living with a nice family is worth something too. It would be nice to have a little bit of spending money too. Did the previous nanny mention anything about that??? Bottom line, Ruth, follow your gut/your intuition. You are the only one that knows how you feel about going into this work situation and if you're fine with it, go with it. If not, tweak it a little bit. I wish you all the very best! :)

  35. I join other posters in congratulating you, and in keeping your blog/past private.

    I do not share their concerns about taxes. WTF?

    In my opinion, legally they are letting you stay as a guest and in return you are helping them outwith the kids. I don't see why you'd need to pay and taxes or report any of it as income, unless you actually sign a contract stating clearly the dollar value of your time and the dollar value of what your host family is providing.

    I think it's a win/win. You will qualify for max student financial aid because your only reportable income will be what you earn part-time on weekends.


    As a person who has been both, that is a huge relief. People have taken me into their homes when I was homeless, fed me and in return I helped out around the house. Once I got a job, I paid them a small amount.

    Never, ever was it suggested that I owed taxes on room and board I received, or that I should report it to the government as income. I think that idea is whack.

    If they pay you cash, then you will need to report that. I agree it seems proper that you get some kind of weekly allowance for your efforts-BUT, as one having been homeless, if their last summer babysitter said it worked out well, I'd give it a shot.

    Homelessness sucks, and good family dynamics, a roof over your head, bed to sleep in, food over your belly and weekends free sounds GREAT to me!

  36. I spoke to 'the dad'/TD for short this morning, first thing. I said I had some clarification questions and he was considerate and seemed glad I was asking the questions I asked. He said they didn't worry about taxes with the last nanny because it was considered a fair exchange by their accountant, but he referred me to the school's employment counsellor just like you guys did and told me I should get an objective analysis if I needed it. Then he told me the cost breakdown they would spend on things for me in exchange for the work and it makes sense to me. I was shocked at the amount he was talking about my budget being for my personal groceries (anything extra I might desire beyond the family meals - they have a person who comes in to cook their weekday meals). I'll be eating better than I do now (money wise). They're giving me $300 a month for extra foods, plus $100 a month at Target for personal essentials (shampoo, feminine hygeine, or whatever...TD said, "...just whatever you'll need, Ruth."). I won't get cash, but I'll write everything I need on the list for the shopper and it will be taken care of up to that amount.

  37. As always, Shadowspring, you have very good points. :) I agree with you. Homelessness sucks, no doubt. Being with a good family, having love around you, food, nice, comfy bed, a car to drive around in, and week-ends off, sounds like a nice arrangement. In addition, you are correct about Ruth getting the maximum amount in financial aid for her college if she has little or no income to report.

    Ruth, if you're feeling good about this, go with it and don't give it a second thought. I am sooo excited for you! :)

  38. Ruth, woweee!!!! In regards to your updated post after you spoke with the dad, it sounds awesome!!! You can't imagine how happy I am for you, how awesome all of this is for you!!! And it couldn't be happening to a nicer or sweeter young woman. Ruth, it looks to me like a lot of good and wonderful things are coming to you. You are deserving of all of them. Much love and (((Hugs))) to you.


  39. Will you have to do any dishes/laundry/housekeeping? It doesn't sound like! If not, I'm jealous, lol. I had 2 nanny jobs and both times I had to do a lot of stuff besides just the kids.

  40. Don't worry about the taxes. You are "bartering" in a sense, fair exchange of good and services and this isn't taxable persobal income (I speak from 30 plus years as a babysitter/nanny). If they were paying you a straight salary and charging you for room/board/etc then that would be taxable income (and yet over the summer you won't make enough to worry about paying into the system).
    Good luck and congrats!
    oh..ps.. I made the mistake once of sharing too much personal info and paying for that mistake tragically (too personal to explain). I have now worked for the same family for 20 years and there is much about me I still don't share. Self preservation! annie

  41. Congratulations Ruth! This sounds like a wonderful arrangement. I wouldn't worry about taxes either since you are not getting a salary. The monthly food and essentials allowance sounds very reasonable to me especially since there will be an allowance for the kids and a car for you to use.

    I once nannied for a summer for a family member (to help them out of a bind) and they had 2 kids. I was paid cash but there was no allowance for the kids. I didn't live there. The kids didn't know how to entertain themselves at all. They always wanted to go somewhere - movies, mall, lunch, etc. I ended up spending most of my money on them. In the end when I did the math I ended up making 5 dollars a day. Needless to say I didn't nanny again!

  42. Ruth,

    That sounds awesome! You'll get rent and board, plus extras. I can find a lot of use for 100/month at Target. I love that store. Especially if you can buy books and cds.
    I agree with Shadow spring about the taxes. You won't make enough under ANY rules to count and this really is bartering.

    I say take the kids to the library, stock up on dvds and books and spend all your free time reading. It's a good way to relax.

    And might I say, I want to live the life where someone comes in and cooks my meals. Damn. I'd even do dishes if I didn't have to cook the food.

    Good luck with finals!!!!! Let us know when you are getting toward them and I'll send you a care email.

  43. YAY! Sounds like a wonderful opportunity and a chance to see what a healthy family works like. I am so happy for you.

  44. In response to this comment - >Don't worry about the taxes. You are "bartering" in a sense, fair exchange of good and services and this isn't taxable persobal income (I speak from 30 plus years as a babysitter/nanny).<

    I'm not an accountant but the IRS seems to indicate that fair market value of bartered goods and services is, in fact, reportable income. See the following site:


    You might want to run that one by an accountant.

    Jim K.

  45. I agree with Donna way up near the beginning of these comments. I'm really bad for sharing too much information, and it always, ALWAYS backfires eventually. ALWAYS! Some people that you would otherwise get along fine with, turn into barracudas if they know too much about you (because they think you're weak for sharing). So I would say to not tell them anything other than generalities.

    I still think you should get even a tiny allowance...what if you do want to go to a movie or something? They sound pretty reasonable, though, so maybe they have some room for that. Congratulations!

  46. Ruth,

    I second the suggestion to be careful about updating your blog from your employer's computers. A friend of mine worked as an au pair for a family for a few years. She became friendly with a few people in a cult-like group (though she didn't join.) She wrote a few letters from her employer's computer, which the employer later found. She was fired, and the employer called all of her previous references and told them what happened. It was embarrassing, and she finally moved out of state because her previous recommendations wouldn't understand that she wasn't in a cult, she was just friendly with people who were a bit "out there."

    People are really touchy when it comes to religion. I wouldn't share your past or this blog with any employer. No matter how close you become with them, remember that they still are your employer.

    That said, I wouldn't fret too much about it. It sounds like a good situation, and you should be proud that you got it, especially in this economy.

  47. Congratulations on your job, it sounds like it will be just the thing. Plus, this will be job experience you'll later be able to use on your resume. I agree with the poster who said not to update your blog using the family computer. Anything you do on their computer is fair game for them to see. I would suggest you only use your own computer or one at the library, and only when you are not on the clock.

  48. Jim K.,

    "See an accountant"? Seriously?

    I have had many, many people stay in my home for a season- five months, ten months, a few weeks. Never once did any one ever suggest that they pay taxes on my hospitality.

    Gifts worth less than $10k are not taxable, how's that for your accounting purposes?

    Still, where the hell is a poor college student going to get the money for an accountant? I (foolishly) hired an accountant to help set up my LLC recently and it cost me $750!!!!

    I could've spent two hours at the library and done it myself. Live and learn!

    Also, the only time I ever paid an accountant to do my taxes, I got audited because there were mistakes. Luckily, the government ended up owing me money, but if I had done my own taxes I would've gotten an even bigger refund!

    Again, two hours at the library=time well spent, time=money, so....

  49. Hi, Ruth! I'm a big fan and have read your entire blog. We're the same age and I came from a family that was pretty much completely mainstream, but with a similar emphasis on sex/modesty. I've always thought that emphasis was so unhealthy, so I really relate. I've never posted, but I had to jump into this one just to reiterate what so many people have already said.

    I definitely would NOT tell the family about your blog. Should you become close friends with them, there is plenty of time for that in the future (even at that, I would wait until the last couple weeks of summer to mention it).

    I have learned the hard way that power/vulnerability is an important part of working relationships. As the employer, this family already has the majority of the power in the relationship. Giving them information (particularly personal, emotional information) before they have fully earned your trust is only giving them more power. To top it off, the power balance is even more inequal in a situation where you are a live-in employee--meaning that, god forbid, if you start to hate the job or find them being a bit unfair or whatever, your options of walking away are limited. They know this, and it sounds like they are great people who will not to abuse that power. But why give them more? Does that make sense?

    There have been several times I opened up to people I worked with early on. When the situation became less than ideal, I wished so badly I could go back and "untell." Keeping work and personal life separate is SO important. It's a hard lesson to learn, and one that often doesn't come naturally or intuitively.

    One other thing--objectively speaking, think of it this way. If I had just hired someone to come live in my home and be primary caretaker to my children, one of the last things I'd want to hear would be, "I was raised in a cult and write a blog about my twisted childhood and recovery." Not that you'd say it like that, but if they're intelligent people they'll either read between the lines or do a little digging. You seem like a wonderful person and after reading your blog I feel like I've gotten to know you a bit, and my guess is that you're the kind of person I'd probably trust my kids with. But think of it from the perspective of someone who doesn't know you. Their children are their top priority, and they can't be too careful.

    That's my two cents. I am obviously a big believer in protecting oneself through privacy and discretion! (I've learned the hard way.) Otherwise, congrats on the job, it sounds great!

    Oh, and I would also agree with the people who said to be very careful about viewing or updating the blog on their home computers, as they are likely to find it without the context of your explanation, in a way that you don't feel comfortable with.

  50. Wonderful for you Ruth! You deserve great things and that is what I pray for you everyday!!

    Also..you should be eligible for grants and not just loans given your tax status (not a dependant) and financial situation (not makin' much money)!! Make those school financial advisers work for you! Grants don't have to be paid back :)

  51. Congrats! I agree with everyone else, you are not obligated to share your past with your employers and I wouldn't tell them about your blog. Don't update using their computer or say anything more than "I had a fun time today with the kids" in writing. If they ask you questions about your past, keep the answers brief and don't give much detail.
    You'll do great and have a lot of fun! I'd much rather be a nanny for 2 kids than for 5 kids! I think you got a sweet deal!

  52. Ruth, it is illegal for an employer to ask (and therefore not necessary for you to tell) about your religious background. Keep your personal life private - and respect their privacy by not blogging about the family. Most particularly, don't ever give personal information about them - names, location, etc.

    I also think you should be paid. One of my guilty pleasure websites is "I Saw Your Nanny," http://isawyournanny.blogspot.com/ Most of the posters there would agree. I worry that you're being taken advantage of.

    I don't mean to sound harsh - I'm tired and pressed for time - I just wanted to put my two cents in.

    Good luck to you, Ruth! I'm so happy that you're excited!


  53. @Shadowspring -

    I didn't say, "See an accountant". I am acutely aware that Ruth isn't in a position to spend a ton of money here because she doesn't have the support of her family, she's got a student loan and she just took a job that isn't paying any real wages. By the way, that bugs me. I think she should be making at least minimum wage in order to butress up the coffers for when school starts again, but that's another post.

    I said, "..run that one by an accountant". It probably wouldn't cost her anything to make a couple of calls to reputable local accounting firms and informally ask the question. She's not setting up a corporation or planning an estate so it should take practically none of their time. If they don't want to answer, it didn't cost anything to ask, did it?

    Maybe you think you wasted your money on an accountant now but if he/she set your business up properly, they might have saved you some headaches down the road. On the other hand, if they truly charged you $375 an hour for two hours worth of work, I say forget the LLC and forget nannying... go study accounting! Hey Ruth, maybe you should switch your major. Be a CPA and you'll be rolling in money and driving that Hummer before you know it! :) I know that when my wife's doctor charged out over $500 to the insurance company for one plantar's wart treatment, it made me wonder if I might be in the wrong business.


    Jim K.

  54. don't mention your blog. sounds like a good arrangement. have fun.

  55. LOL@ JIm K.

    "I say forget the LLC and forget nannying... go study accounting!"

    Yep, yep. But this one has a law degree too, so I guess that explains it- double billing! One for setting up the business, and again for overseeing himself to make sure he did it legally?

    I misunderstood you. I thought you were encouraging her to consult an accountant. My bad.

  56. Congrats on the job! I love your blog.

    I would not mention your blog, or your past. It is wrong for an employer to ask about religion but since your are living with the family, and they asked or you were just talking to get to know each other, it wouldn't be wrong to be say something along the lines like I was brought up in a consevrative christian family. A few years ago I live on the campus of a rural hospital. There were many female residents that had kids and needed nannies. The first place they went to look for nannies was Utah. None of the residents were mormon, but they all were looking for a nice conservative young lady they could trust with thier kids.

    Not that you should tell your employer, but I am sure they would be happier to hear you had a very conservative upbringing in a large family vs being a party girl.

    I am also surprised about the lack of a small salary. The average 5 day a week live in nanny were I lived a few years ago made $400 a week plus all expenses paid.

  57. Ruth, I must be somewhat blunt. They are taking advantage of you. Live in nannies are paid a salary too. They should give you that $400 in cash as an "allowance" not force you to put your needs on a list for a shopper. I have 4 children and if I knew someone who would come live with me under that deal I would jump at the chance, literally jump. In fact, if you live anywhere near me... We had an au pair in the summer once and she got room and board, transportation costs, her own car, plus a weekly allowance in cash. I would love to have a nanny for help with getting my kids to stuff. I even considered asking a friend who is out of work to stay with me, room and board covered, for about 15 hours of work per week. No pay. That seemed fair to me, about $10 per hour. However, she's made too many negative comments to me about myself and I can't bring that into my home, so I decided against bringing it up. Are you really going to be caring for these children 24/7 all week long? Au pairs only work 45 hours per week, although they don't necessarily get weekends off. (they get one per month.)

    Also, technically, bartering is considered taxable income, although I wouldn't worry yourself about that.

  58. I was a live in nanny too. They should be giving you a weekly salary on top of the other allowances. Room and board and all that is great but if you are working 5 days a week, you should be getting at least a couple hundred a week salary. Seriously!


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