More FAQ Answers

Please continue to post short questions for this FAQ in the first thread so I can keep my place. Thank you!

I'm curious about your transition into college, and how your upbringing has affected your class choices and interactions with other students.
My transition from home schooled, "preparing to stay at home" young lady to college woman was long and very gradual. As I've said before, it took a few years to get my pre-reqs in place and educate myself enough in some areas in order to do well on standardized testing and placement exams. My class choices are dictated, mostly, be the university curriculum and what's available. Now that I'm as "caught up" as any freshman, and I'm just finishing my freshman year, (maybe I have enough credits for a sophmore but I'll be here at least three more years), my upbrining doesn't affect that.

what the ATI views on Judaism were, especially since it seems that there are aspects of the ATI life that draw heavily from Orthodox Judaism.
Short answer- Judaism is an older religion that Christianity so it was respected but now they'd say Jewish folks are "wrong" because they don't recognize Christ's salvation.

Do I let my mom off the hook?
In some ways I do. That may not be right from a standpoint of accountability and it seems to have sprung some debate in my comments section but the answer is complicated. I hold my mom responsible for some things: the decision to marry my father, originally, perhaps, or the decision to follow my dad into Gothardism. However, I feel for her like I feel sympathy for the guy who bought a crappy car because of a suave salesman. In my mom's case, she had a whole team of salesman working on her. By the time she started to see the choice she'd really made, she had small children and had been told that she had no where to go. My grandparents would have taken her back in at that point and helped her. But my dad and everyone near her was telling her she'd be leaving a righteous life and their protection. Some one brought up Vyckie at NLQ. Vyckie is insanely strong for being able to leave with her children and she paid a heavy price (financially, emotionally) for it. I cut my mom slack, whether it's right or not, because I can see how limited her perspective was.

If I seem to let her slide in accountability, it's because I still identify with her - I almost became her. My therapist says that we tend to cut our "safe parent" more slack because we identify with them most. When we start to criticize them, we're getting close to criticizing ourselves. I guess I'm not there yet. If I have to criticize her, then I have to examine my part in perpetuating the abuses I saw around me. I doled out some swats to the butt and followed my father's house rules, even after I was at an age to know it was wrong.

I was going to ask if you would ever speak out even more vocally and publicly than this [very brave] blog, but Anonymous already suggested it. Do you think you would ever pursue bringing this to national attention?

Would I EVER? Yes, probably. Is that going to be anytime soon? I think the blog will be it for now. I *need* my anonymity for several reasons right now. Giving my information to Vyckie caused a panic attack of epic proportions. I can't imagine doing more right now. When Rani is out of the house and safe and Blessing is older or my father dies, then I'll feel better about it.

First Question: Do you now consider your upbringing to be a cult?

Yes.

Second Question: Where you the first to leave and if not, who left first and how are they dealing with life now and are you close?

I won't divulge my siblings stories out of respect. It's their story to tell, not mine. I wasn't the first to have doubts, if that's what you're asking. An older brother followed the path before him and found it to be the wrong path for he and his family. I am very close to them and getting closer every day.

1. How IS the leg??? ;-)
2. What are your plans for the summer? Will you take classes or work or both?
3. Is it safe to tell us what year of study you're in, or does that need to remain confidential? (Completely understand if it does.)
4. Does Harris know about your blog, and if he does, does he read it?
5. Speaking of reading, what books have you been enjoying lately?

1. Healing! I'm still on crutches (my armpits hurt like you know what). I don't have any pain unless my clumsy self bangs it on something. No need for pain meds of any kind anymore. It's just inconvenient now.
2. My summer plans were hampered by my leg. I was going to get a job and do some hiking. I don't know how that will work now. The cast will be off around May 10th. I may nanny for a family in town in exchange for room and food. I'll still need to find some spending money income. I was going to take summer school but budget cuts at the state level blew that when my class was cancelled.
3. I'm a frosh. I consider myself a freshman, but I think I have enough credits to be an early sophomore.
4. Harris knows about my blog. He doesn't read it every day or comment.
5. I haven't pleasure read in a while. Too much school reading to be done. :) I started one of the Twilight books and I like it so far.