Friday, April 16, 2010

More FAQ answers

, I could assume the pregnant sister is in her late teens. But you never mentioned anything about any of your sisters being married. Could you please clarify?

Also, about the shaving, you mentioned that you weren't allowed in the bathroom alone. How did you get away with shaving without anyone knowing right away?

I thought I'd talked about that here but I guess it was on the NLQ chat room. My brother's wife (my sister) was the pregnant one referred to in that post. We don't use the term "in law". She married my brother, helped me find my way out, so she's my sister. :) I do see how it was confusing.

I answered the shaving legs question in an older comment thread but I'll answer it again since it was missed. My bathroom buddies were my little sisters or my mom. If my mom was in with me, I didn't shave that week. If my sisters were with me, I could wait for a younger one who wouldn't know what I was doing. That an an opaque shower curtain with velcro tabs was my defense.

Do you think any of the Duggar children have a chance of escaping? Do you see aspects of yourself in any of them?
I don't know enough about the Duggar children to make an informed opinion. Numbers say that some of them will leave the fold. I think I had a post on this? I also see that they're in a totally different situation than we were. The Duggars aren't as isolated as they could be because of the show. They're getting out and seeing the world (even in a limited, observed fashihon). They're meeting people (from the camera to sound guys, to tour guides) they wouldn't normally meet. Those things suggest that they're seeing that the wolves aren't always dangerous wolves. They also have a comfortable lifestyle that most QF families don't enjoy and that may actually work to keep them in the fold. If TLC is keeping money for the kids, and paying the adult kids, it may help them with the debt free life and set them up for QF. Duggar is a brand and keeping the brand intact has an important role in keeping them comfortable. I think the older kids understand that.

I'd also like to know if there was/is any genuine affection shown to the kids in ATI/Bill Gothard families? Are there hugs given? Kisses? Or is it just one big Satan-fest if affection is displayed?

I think every family is different. Hugs and kisses aren't outlawed - just regulated. Ha ha! We were allowed to kiss our same sex siblings on the cheeks and side hug our brothers. We could do this anytime and were encouraged to show affection to our younger siblings especially as an encouragement. My dad didn't hug but that was more just his own boundary. He wasn't very affectionate. My mom was.

I can't answer the question about sex because I've never had it.


  1. Thanks for clearing that up!

  2. I'm somewhat new to this blog, so what is this about you not being allowed to be in the bathroom alone? What was the point of that? That just seems really controlling, even for a QF family.

  3. bananacat:

  4. Hi Ruth...have some questions for you....

    Being QF is part of living the Gothard Lifestyle. But, what are your thoughts on those who are QF but do NOT follow Gothard. Do you have any experience with those families?

    Second, I know you are trying to figure out your past and work through all that stuff. But what do you see in your future? What are your goals and desires and how are they different than the goals/desires you were taught to have during your childhood?


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