Ok, ok. I finally got the hint. Some of you want to have a "shower" for Rachel- to "shower her with love and opportunities". I had a very hard time accepting this because it felt a little wrong to accept gifts since she wasn't keeping the baby. I've been assured that it's common to have birth mom showers. The baby will be very well taken care of. No worries there. So what can we do for Rachel? I'm open for ideas and if those who want to host this want to host it on their blog, that's fine too.
Some have asked: Is these anything Rachel wants to do after the birth that would take her mind of things? What can we give her to look forward to?
She really wants to "live it up" at Disneyland. She has never been and she wants to experience it. She also wants a new wardrobe- to move out of modest modern. I'll leave the rest up to anyone who wants to host this. Thank you for offering.
Hello,
ReplyDeleteBaby showers and other social events to celebrate the impending or recent birth are popular around the world. They are usually full of love and joy, and you get to look at lots of cute baby clothes. Thanks a lot...
Why such a mad post? Ruth was just responding to offers made. No one will force you to participate.
DeleteLol, this comment is totally spam.
DeleteYeah it's a link to a gift website. Not some anon person being judgy (for once)
DeleteI think once she's cleared to exercise (differs if she has a c-section or vaginal delivery) some yoga classes can be a lot of fun, and it might help her feel like she's reclaiming her body.
I don't have any idea how one goes about hosting a virtual baby shower, but I'm happy to help anyone who does feel like they know what they're doing.
ReplyDeleteFor clothes, would it be best to leave something in the tip car designated for Rachel so she can pick out what she wants? Clothes are expensive but can do WONDERS for your self esteem/self image.
ReplyDeleteI think it might be nice to pamper her with a manicure or pedicure and maybe a massage. Whether she gives birth vaginally or by c-section, it's a big stress on her body. An inexpensive massage, if she's comfortable being undressed and touched by a stranger, will really be great. Disney sounds great, but don't go too soon after the birth (2 or 3 weeks would be best) because you don't want her to exhaust too easily and you want to be sure she's physically recovered.
ReplyDeleteprenatal massage can be super nice for those aches and pains caused by the loose joints and the strain of carrying a huge belly.
ReplyDeletegift cards might also be an option, to Old Navy and the like. Although she may need to wait a couple months post-partum to see how her physique will settle out.
Old Navy, JC Penney, Target and even Wal Mart have really reasonable and even "cheap" if I dare use that word clothing. All those stores have gift cards as well...just a thought?
ReplyDeleteSue
All these, and Forever 21. Some of their stuff is for nightclubs, but a lot of it is sweet, modest stuff for daily wear. That might let Rachel feel young and fun without pushing her boundaries too far.
DeleteGive her a month before Disney. There are great deals for SoCal residents right now that will last till the end of May. My daughter goes every other week. There are deals for staying at the hotels as well. Might as well make a weekend of it and let her enjoy every minute.
ReplyDeleteSue is right about Old Navy, Penney's and Target for clothes or gift cards, and Kohl's offers great deals on lots of merchandise to help her ease into the post frumpier clothes.
Depending on where you are a metro pass might be nice. If you're in the So Cal area, there's a pass that allows you to use most of the local public transportation plus metro rail to get around.
I'm happy that she has found the family she trusts for a forever one for the baby. Ruth, you've done so much good, I hope it comes back to you in buckets of love!
Dear Ruth,
ReplyDeleteI discovered your blog about two months ago and spent about three days going back through your archives. I'm immensely sorry for what you've been through, you and your sister as well as the rest of your siblings. I'd love to be able to donate a few bucks so Rachel can get some clothes or at least send her some of my old ones. I had a baby last year and I know what it feels like to be stuck in some of the frumpiest clothes in the world.
Um...I'm going to suggest she put Disney on hold until she is in a better place emotionally. Rachel giving up her baby is going to be hugely emotionally taxing and going to Disneyland may not turn out to be as good of an experience as she deserves for it to be.
ReplyDeleteI would liken it to going right after your baby died. And as a mom who has lost a baby to infant death, trust me on this. While adoption is certainly not a death, there is a mourning process that will likely need to happen, and to risk having an emotional breakdown in a place where one is really looking forward to going, is probably not going to help.
It may be prudent to wait on a big trip like that until the fall, when Rachel has had time to adjust and come to terms with her own loss and come to grips with where life has brought her in the last year or so.
But there is NO reason she shouldn't plan something like that. I'd just personally give it a few months.
I totally agree. And, for what it is worth, you are to wait on exercise for at least six weeks after birth, and I would think a trip to Disney would need to wait at least that long, at the very minimum. I would say going 3-4 months later would be ideal. Just my two cents.
DeleteAlso remember that Disney is a place filled with small children - possibly a reminder of the child Rachel gave up? A reminder of moments she will not have with her daughter? But then again Rachel is very strong and she may see it differently. You both are very smart young women!
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ReplyDeletedo you have any idea what size she was before the pregnancy? depending on how much weight she gained, probably things with elastic for bottoms at first? Tops a bit easier.
ReplyDeleteten before pregnancy.
ReplyDeleteI think old navy is a great idea, and you can do e-gift cards and the only information Ruth has to give out is an email address.
ReplyDeletehttps://oldnavy.cashstar.com/gift-card/buy/?ref=on1
Ruth,
ReplyDeleteI began reading your blog in early 2010. My heart aches for you and Rachel. Is there an E-mail address where I can contact you in private? I have some information that will might be a real benefit to Rachel. Thanks! Marie
Ruth,
ReplyDeleteYou can also contact me at nativetxun@yahoo.com. Thanks! Marie
Wow. You ARE a sponge, aren't you. You cannot post anything without asking for something. Good luck with draining those 20 people who read here.
ReplyDeleteUh, readers of the blog offered to do this - they thought it up. Nothing wrong with taking people up on their generosity when it is definitely needed.
DeleteRuth, I wish I could give you something, but I just had a baby myself and am a little low on finances. I wish you and Rachel all the best, though!
Lauren H.
Size ten before pregnancy at the age of 18. Not bad. Blessed be thy bacon.
ReplyDeleteSize 10 is the average in the damn country. Way to go, troll.
DeleteUh...Fellow Anonymous...you do know that for every troll comment...the Coffee Crew makes a donation, don't you?
ReplyDeleteCheck yer PayPal on Wednesday, Ruth.
Ruth, I just wanted to say happy birthday! I know that our ages and birthdays are very close together (I just turned 28 yesterday) as I read it years ago on the early pages of your blog, but now I'm having trouble finding the info again.
ReplyDeleteI sure hope I'm remembering correctly :)
Geesh, anon, I've been a size 12 since high school... I find your comment insulting. Btw, I'm athletically built and am avid cyclist who rides my bike over 4,000 miles each year. What about you?! /Anon MG
ReplyDeleteAnonymous INTENDS to be insulting...
ReplyDeleteBut we would LUUUURVE to hear what Anonymous Troll THINKS Ruth should be doing to assist Rachel.
This is geared toward anonymous at 8:45am, March 26.
ReplyDeleteThere are more than 20 people who follow this blog. Last I looked it was over 400. Until this post, Ruth has never ASKED for money and even this post isn't asking for money. She's saying that if one of the multiple people that asked to throw a shower for Rachel want to, they can do so. EVEN IF SHE DID ASK FLAT OUT FOR MONEY, HOW IS SHE DIFFERENT THAN NO LONGER QUIVERING'S VYCKIE OR ANY OF THE OTHER BLOGGERS THAT SOLICIT OPENLY OR USE THEIR BLOG FOR INCOME? How is she different from the Duggars or Maxwell's, who accept donations? It's simple. If you don't want to participate in the baby shower you don't have to. I think you're jealous that people want to help Ruth and Rachel. What? Your blog not drawing enough interest anonymous? Piss off too many people to get sympathy yourself? Grow up.
Yeah Gretchen...AnonTroll clearly does not understand the purpose of the Tip Jar, or how widely it is used...or how deeply grateful some of us are to be privvy to a fascinating journey of hope and self discovery.
ReplyDeleteAgain...we will be buying the book...
I'm so glad that folks like Anonymous are out there to show us all what being a "good" Christian entails. Here I thought Christ spoke of helping the poor, showing compassion, and being a kind person. Folks like him/her wring their hands and wonder why the number of Americans unaffiliated with any religion is on the rise, but they never take even a moment to look in the mirror. Keep being hateful, Anon, when you drive people out of your flock know that they will be well cared for by those of us on the outside. We don't judge. We won't tell a size 10 young woman that she is fat. We will say "welcome, sometimes life is hard, but we're all in this world together." We will band together and give a few gifts to get through a very difficult decision and we will support her while she goes forward into a world that she is unfamiliar with. Life is complicated, people are complicated, but it is also so very, very beautiful. Maybe you should try looking for that sometimes instead of reflecting the hate that you feel.
ReplyDelete