Rachel is in labor. She started having bad back pain at four this morning. We called the doctor and he had us come in for a visit around nine. It wasn't Rachel's normal doctor, but he said she probably should just go home and rest. They did a non-stress test and everything was great.
We got her home and I made her a little lunch and she said she wanted to shower. While she was in the shower, she yelled for me. I will never forget the look in her eyes when I walked in. There was a little blood running down her leg. So, back into the car we went to the doctor. It was their lunch, so we ended up sitting there for a few minutes. A nurse walked by the waiting room and asked Rachel if she was okay. We told her about the shower episode and she said something about "nervous first timers". Well, when the doctor got there, he had Rachel go in and he checked her. Rachel's aminotic fluid was leaking. She was also at 2cm and 80 effaced. They sent us next door to the hospital. We've been in her room since 1pm. They've put a little pitocin in her line to try to speed things along because she wasn't progressing very well. All of this time she's spent contracting before she was supposed to and now she's going slow.
I'm excited. I don't know if I should be. The adoptive parents are talking to Rachel right now and I'm downstairs making this post. I'm scared, guys. So far she seems to be handling this in a remarkably calm and logical way. I'm freaking out. This baby is coming tonight. My niece will be here tonight and I am excited. I can't wait to meet her...and then I think about having to watch her go to the other room with her wonderful adoptive parents and I know it's going to ache. I can't even imagine the ache Rachel will feel. I'm not sure how to do this and be there for her. If this is how expectant fathers feel then they have my sympathies. It's non cake walk.
*breathe* I'll keep you posted.
Hang in there, Ruth. Your role is to be there for Rachel. The way you feel about it is not important right now.
ReplyDeleteGood luck. Sometimes when things are hard, I like to focus on all the great things instead of the sadness. She is giving a baby to people who have probably desperately yearned for a child. She is giving the child a healthy, happy, loving, and safe place. There is sadness, but some really wonderful joy too. You've help give this child the absolute best start in life possible and supported your sister through some of the most difficult choices she will probably ever face. Be proud of what a good person and what a remarkable aunt you are.
ReplyDeleteI hope she has (had?) a good delivery and all is well.
ReplyDeleteHope all is well and who knows? By now Rachel might have brought her little girl into the world.
ReplyDeleteNothing but the best to all 3 of you. xo
I hate to say, "Don't hurry back to us," but... seriously, don't. Help Rachel get through this, get some rest, and then let us know how it went.
ReplyDeleteHere's hoping everything goes well.
What Michael said. Sending good thoughts to both you and Rachel.
DeleteI've never posted before but I just wanted to say allow yourself to feel what you feel but also be strong for your sister. If you want to post because that will help you be strong for your sister do it. If not, don't. Try to focus on the baby and the happy couple. You will have a lot of time to commiserate with your sister, as I'm sure she'll be sad and need to grieve sooner or later. Just be there and let her know it's ok.
ReplyDeleteHang in there!
My love to you and Rachel on a pivotal day in both your lives. I would suggest you take a lot of pictures of the baby, with Rachel and with the adoptive parents and a few with you and lots of just that sweet baby by herself. Video some of it too, unobtrusively (not secretively, just not worrying about if it looks any good; don't try to set up any scenes just video some of what naturally happens). These pictures and photos can help Rachel and you process the loss of the baby by giving you tangible evidence of who she is, and the ones with her adoptive parents and their joy and love for her can help ease that ache.
ReplyDeleteIt takes much more love to do what is best for a child than to do what makes us feel the best ourselves. Giving her precious baby a stable, loving, emotionally healthy home to grow up in is the most loving thing Rachel could ever do for her. Congratulations to you all!
Best wishes to you, Rachel, the baby, and her adoptive parents. It takes courage to do what you're all doing. Please don't worry about us; just be there when your sister needs you.
ReplyDelete*HUGS* Thinking about you all!
ReplyDeleteI wish the best of physical and emotional health to Rachel, the baby, and you.
ReplyDeleteDeb
Sending along wishes for a easy (as these things go) and uncomplicated delivery, and a healthy baby and a healthy mom.
ReplyDeleteMy heart is aching for you both and sending prayers upward and hugs your way.
ReplyDeleteLove to you all. Lots of prayers and positive thoughts and hugs.
ReplyDeleteI hope the people adopting the baby will allow some contact, at least periodic letters and photos, if not yearly visits. It is in the child's best interest to have some degree of openness. I'm an adoptive parent. The adoptive parents are free to contact me. My kids are now adults and I can share what I wish I'd known when they were babies and young children.
ReplyDelete