We have a Baby Girl. Her adoptive parents have said it would be okay for me to share her first name and statistics. They are hoping that if other woman found herself in Rachel's role, that this story might help them make the best decision for themselves and their baby.
By the time I got back to her room, Rachel's labor was progressing right along. She got to 6cm and then everything just really stalled again. The baby wouldn't go past zero station. We got her up and walked around the halls for what seemed like forever. Then, the doctor was saying that a little pitocin would help, but she'd be in bed the rest of the labor if we did that and I'm not sure if it scared her uterus into action or what but things started kicking along again.
Ella(nicknamed immediately "Ellie") was born March 27 at 1:45am. She's a little small: 4lbs 15oz, but she was long 19.5". She's beautiful. Long, long fingers and perfect little lips. She'll stay in the NICU a few days to gain some weight but she's breathing fine and is very healthy.
It was beautiful. I've seen births before but this was hard and beautiful. Rachel was really strong in her decision and as soon as little Ellie was born, she called her adoptive parents into the room to see her. I know it was horribly difficult for her - I can't even imagine- but Rachel was/is so strong. Everyone was so good to her and so cautious about her feelings and protecting her, but she didn't need it. She said this morning that she wouldn't change this. I was so prepared for the worst- for her to want to change her mind or to be unconsolable but she's handling it well.
We're both exhausted. I came down for something to eat and then I'm going to go back up and catch a nap with Rachel.
Congratulations to Ellie's new family and to your sister! Your strength and courage to be there for each other is inspiring.
ReplyDeleteMany good thoughts for Rachel, Ellie, and you Ruth <3
ReplyDeleteCongrats to all. Ruth, you and your sis are incredibly strong women. Hang in there. Please be sure Rachel gets post-adoptive counseling, she will probably need it.
ReplyDelete(((hugs))) Congratulations.
ReplyDeleteWelcome Ella. So many people love you and want the best for you.
Good job, Rachel. Be gentle on yourself.
Counselling is required through her attorney. She'll have counselling for up to a year.
ReplyDeleteThat is very generous than most states. I know in my state, it's an abysmal 10 days.
DeleteCongratulations to all of you... and condolences, too, if they're needed. I'm glad they haven't been, so far.
ReplyDeleteRest is probably the best thing for both of you right now. But thanks for letting us know how it's going.
Ruth, that's great news about the counselling, on SO many levels. I'm sitting here with tears in my eyes, at Rachel's strength, and yours. Again, you're both going to come out stronger women for this experience, and I admire you both very, very much.
ReplyDeleteMy thoughts go out to you and Rachel. I am sure little Ella is going to have a wonderful life with her new parents.
ReplyDeleteI am so glad that you and Rachel have each other. Now get some rest!
Stop kissing this woman's ass. RACHEL got pregnant and threw her baby away. Fuck that. RUTH is old enough to stop fucking around with her life and adopt her niece. But, no. She puts her sister through this hell and blogs about it. Congrats for making sure Ella hates you all forever and she will.
ReplyDeleteDude, you are a freak. You much be either a family member or the baby daddy.
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
DeleteDamn, I wish I had the delete button and a block button to keep you from ever posting here again.
DeleteShe didn't throw the baby away, she did the very best thing she felt could do. Gave her life and a good family.
What have YOU done beside sit on your ass and be an armchair judge?
Maybe it's because I am seriously tired. I have to respond to Anonymous even though I know this person is most likely a troll.
DeleteFUCK. YOU. YOU. DO. NOT. KNOW. WHAT. YOU. ARE. TALKING. ABOUT.
My sister has more strength in her pinky than you have in your pathetic hands. Yes, those same pathetic hands that created the comment above are useless. More than useless. If you don't agree with my sister's decision to choose adoption, then that's fine. Disagree all you like. Tell me why you disagree with the institution of adoption and what you're prepared to do to make sure no woman ever has to give up her baby. Or, tell me you're an adopted child who has issues and maybe I'll feel some sympathy for you. Short of that- shut up! My sister has never looked stronger to me. She took an incredibly bad situation and, from what I saw, gave two wonderful people the family they couldn't have on their own because of one partner had survived cancer. My sister is my hero today and you're not going to change that.
You want to grouch on someone? Grouch on me. Your criticism of me is fair enough. In a perfect world, at my age, I should've been able to do more for my sister. I should've been able to take care of this perfect little creature who came into our world this morning. You're right. Here's the thing- I can't! I can hardly take care of myself and I'm certainly not emotionally ready to deal with a baby full time. This baby deserves more. Little Ella deserves a full family. A stable family with issues, I'm sure, but seriously more ready than I am or Rachel is to raise her as she deserves. Ella will never have to go on the internet and blog about her horrible, abusive childhood to feel heard. Ella won't have to worry about paying for school or being accepted by her parents. Ella has a family that has documented her every breath and believed her to be the most precious things ever because she's the answer to their hopes and dreams.
Ruth....*gentle hands on shoulders* you would never be abusive to any child you were to ever raise. You may not be ready, and that's fine and fair to feel that way, but you do not have it in you to be an abuser. You never will be. No child who is ever raised by you will ever blog because of any mistreatment by you.
Delete"FUCK. YOU. YOU. DO. NOT. KNOW. WHAT. YOU. ARE. TALKING. ABOUT."
DeleteWe just wanted to see this again.
Ruth, we knew you were strong...we just didn't know you you were packing heavy verbal artillery.
You two get some rest.
Slow clap for Ruth.
DeleteWay to kick ass and take names!
Ruth didn't put her sister through anything. She helped. She didn't create this situation. She was there when Rachel had nowhere else to turn. She's an awesome sister and an awesome aunt. and she has no reason to feel guilty for wanting her niece to have a mom and dad in a functional family.
DeleteRuth, you rule. That response was the ultimate in smack. That deserves two snaps and a swirl (and some "In Living Color DVDs). :D
DeleteAs an adopted child, born a few weeks early (5#3oz, 18 1/2"), I also can attest to the fact that baby Ellie may be a little smaller than most when she grows up, but she will otherwise be just fine. Amazing she turned out so well with no pre-natal care until so late. Glad she got ANY at all, which is more I can say for what Darth would provide to his own wife with little "Blessing," IIRC.
Again, all my best to you, Rachel, Ellie and the adoptive parents (is it wrong that I hope they're a nice gay couple).
I put in for the Disney fund a few weeks ago. Unfortunately, everything around here decided to fall apart at once, so I can't give more, but that doesn't mean I don't want to.
With counseling, Rachel will be able to stand up to assholes like the above douchebag who had the nerve to post that flaming ball of hate just hours after a new life (isn't what Darth and this baby's father are supposedly about?). If Rachel didn't "throw away" her baby to adoptive parents, what was she supposed to do, raise it herself with the "skills" taught to her at home until just a few weeks ago?
If the prick who posted that screed is the biological father, I pray for your new wife's safety and hope she finds out sooner than later what a gutless scumbag you are, hiding behind that convenient shield of patriarchy which is tailor-made for men who don't have any balls, so rule by threats and violence.
This comment has been removed by the author.
DeleteAdding to the clapping. I deleted my previous comment because I said that I agreed with everything you said, but then thought you were putting yourself down for not being able to take on the responsiblity for caring for Rachel's baby. Then realized you weren't doing that.
DeleteBottom line, the nasty troll had that one coming, and I sure wish I could be so eloquent when pissed and tired. Now, go get some rest, young lady. ;-)
I just love the courage of anon comments like this.....
DeleteCOWARD.....
this weak ass trolling tho
DeleteHey, Anonytroll.
DeleteDo us all a favor and take a long walk off a short cliff.
My 3 kids are adopted. They do not hate their birthmothers. They love them.
DeleteBTW, it takes two to get pregnant. Ella has a birthfather who was too chickenshit to stand by her side and support her through this difficult time. A real man doesn't walk away from his pregnant girlfriend.
Rachel made an incredibly difficult decision. You hide behind anonymity, making you a coward.
Ruth wrote, "Ella won't have to worry about paying for school or being accepted by her parents. Ella has a family that has documented her every breath and believed her to be the most precious things ever because she's the answer to their hopes and dreams."
DeleteExactly this, Ruth. Ella was not only born, but sought out by a family. And Rachel, who loved her more than anything, chose the best family for her too. She has two families who love her beyond words, and that is a great gift.
Well done, Rachel. Giving birth is like running a marathon, and you've done it! You are brilliant and beautiful, as is your future.
I can accept that Rachel and yourself don't feel ready to raise a child, but this adoption doesn't guarantee that the Ella's life is going to be perfect later on. No child has that. When I was adopted by my parents, they were wealthy, educated, and all that jazz. My life later on with them was hell due to changed circumstances.
Delete@lucreza -- I don't think Ruth has said that she or Rachel expect Ellie's life to be perfect later on. Just that Rachel doesn't feel remotely capable of raising this child. Plenty of kids' lives are (unfortunately) hellish with their birth families too! And we know some of their financial situation; we know it's very tenuous and likely to be for some time, at least until Ruth's out of school. Given those facts, the options were Darth Daddy or a family Rachel chose.
DeleteOut of a lot of imperfect options, I agree with them that this sounds like the best.
I've been meaning to contribute to the Disneyland fund for several days now and haven't gotten around to it. "Anonymous'" comments made me so mad that I made sure it got done today. Just wanted to re-iterate the fact that there are many more supportive, understanding people out there than assholes like that!
DeleteYes Anonymous, it sounds like your son DID turn out great...despite his being raised by a defensive, self-centered, gutter-mouthed twit. Congratulations to you too, dear.
DeleteI am sure anonymous is an adoptee with some issues - fortunately most don't.
DeleteElla will grow up knowing that she was a wanted child, not only by her parents but by the precious girl who gave her life and her aunt who is strong and brave.
A beautiful ending to the story. Ruth, you and Rachel both have so much to be proud of. You are two amazing young women, and I am sure Ella will grow up to be another amazing young woman. I admire Rachel for going through the adoption process and making all the right choices to have Ella placed with a family free of hatred.
ReplyDeleteI am so glad to hear that Rachel and baby are healthy and doing well. My best wishes to you all for the weeks and months ahead xx
ReplyDeleteThanks for the update We knew that 36 weeks is generally normal healthy baby range, but we were still just a bit worried.
ReplyDeleteWe lift our coffee cups to Ella, and to Rachel, and Ruth...and to Ella's adoptive parents.
Courage, compassion and such generosity of spirit is found on this blog. You all are an inspiration in this weary world.
And Rachel...echoing this: be gentle with yourself. Healing will come...and you have the support of many.
Hear hear....**raising coffee mug in agreement**
DeleteOn a side note, Montana...we think Ruth needs a grinder...
DeleteMorning coffee is a religious ritual, if done properly.
Amen, sister coffee clatch enthusiast...
DeleteThere are three of us...wondering how we can do this...
DeleteCongratulations!
ReplyDeleteCongrats to everyone!! So happy that Rachel came through OK. Your sister is a BRAVE and wonderful person, so glad that she will get counseling for up to a year, even if she feels she does not need it now, she will in the future, also maybe she has finally deal with what happened w/ your family if she has a person to talk to.
ReplyDeleteMy 1 y.o. grand daughter is Ella, beautiful name! I hope all continues to go well.
ReplyDeleteAs a mother I want to assure you Rachel, you didn't throw your baby away. You gave her a life. Now go and have one for yourself. Find peace and happiness, because you deserve it. Don't waste a minute on regrets or second guessing. Cut the negative people out of your life...you don't need them.
ReplyDeleteCongratulations to Rachel, Ella, Ruth and the lucky adoptive family. Ruth, I think you are wonderful for being there for your sister. Wishing you only the best.
ReplyDeleteNO BABY WHO IS NURTURED THROUGH PREGNANCY AND BIRTHED IS THROWN AWAY. SHE LOVED THAT BABY ENOUGH TO GIVE IT A FAMILY WHO WILL LOVE HER. That is the love of a mom. Ruth and Rachel, don't be hurt by the ugly people who just don't have anything better to do with their day. Don't bring yourself to their level of hate and lowlife status. Get some rest and take care of yourselves you have a long road to travel.
ReplyDeleteAMEN, Tracy! What's the other option for them? Welfare because they willfully raised their children with substandard educations?
DeleteAbortion?
I was born to a woman with 3 years of college who tried for 6 months, when being a single working mother in the professional world was unheard of (she was a legal secretary, not surprisingly, her boss knocked her up, promised to leave his wife to marry her....) and finally gave me up when both monetary and societal pressure got to be too much. She was 26 at the time, but those were very different times (mid-60's).
Welcome to the world, Ella! Congratulations to Ella and her new family.
ReplyDeleteCongratulations to you, Rachel, and the new adoptive parents on this sweet baby girl's birth. You and Rachel are amazingly strong, beautiful and capable women. May the next few days be surrounded by love and healing and strength you didn't know you had. (Gentle hugs) and wishing the very best for all of you.
ReplyDeleteGo Ruth! Rachel is not throwing the child away, but giving her the best opportunities possible. She is doing one of the most courageous and selfless things possible. She is pouring her love into Ellie and giving her a gift of a secure family. I've mentioned before that my husband was adopted at birth. He has never felt thrown away, but instead given the opportunity to be raised in a family that loved and supported him. Whoever this troll is, they need to stop projecting their own issues and find a therapist.
ReplyDeleteBest wishes to all, and welcome to little Miss Ella :)
ReplyDeleteAlmost a year to the day since my neice Ellie was born. I can't begin to understand how difficult it has been, and will be, for Rachel but you have made a brave and amazing decision. Sending lots of love and best wishes.
ReplyDeleteCongrats to all of you! My daughter was born at 34 weeks at 4lbs 15oz but only 17 inches. Sounds like Ellie might be a tall girl down the road :)
ReplyDeleteForget the haters, a beautiful little girl is going to be loved by more than just one set of parents. She will always have the unconditional love of her birth mother and her aunt and I know that she will always feel that. Adoption is a beautiful thing. My own brother was adopted by my father because his biological father wanted nothing to do with him and he has had no regrets because he was raised by a man who loved him unconditionally just as Ellie will be.
Congratulations Rachel, for a healthy baby (and hopefully a healthy YOU). Congratulations, Ella, on your birth and your family -- you have a mother who cared enough about YOU to find the best environment for you to grow up, and to Ella's adoptive parents.
ReplyDeleteCongratulations, Ruth -- you're an auntie, and a badass.
I hope little Ella has as great a future ahead of her as she deserves, and that you two -- Ruth and Rachel -- can continue to improve your own lives and pursue your own futures. This hard part is done, there are more to come.
I'm so glad that everyone is healthy! What a lucky family to have a beautiful daughter, and lucky Rachel for the best solution for her situation! Much healing and sunny futures to you all!
ReplyDeleteWelcome to Earth, Ella! You landed in a great place--with an aunt who was able to help your mother when she needed it most, a mother who loves you enough to want the absolute best for you, and an adoptive family to love and raise you with the best they have. Joy to you and yours.
ReplyDeleteWell done, Ruth, telling off the troll. You couldn't be more right.
Agree 100% with Other Jean. My sentiments exactly. You go, girls!!
DeleteWell well said!! Congratulations Rachel and Ruth and baby Ella.
DeleteRachel you have a bunch of virtual hugs coming from me to you. You did what was the best thing in the world for Ella and for her adoptive parents. You and Ruth are going to do good things for the world and when you find the right guy down the road somewhere, he'll love you and support you.
ReplyDeleteTo the troll. Your village is calling, they are looking for their idiot.
Blessings to all of you.
Rachel congratulations on the birth of your beautiful daughter, Ella. Ruth, congratulations on being an aunt! And congratulations also to Ella's adoptive family on the birth of their daughter.
ReplyDeleteIt was bright, clear and springlike where I live today. It's a perfect day for a birthday. Best wishes for a quick recovery for Rachel and a short NICU stay for Ella.
Sending peace and joy to you all.
Ruth -- I have read your blog for a long time, just never posted. BUT, I want to tell you how proud I am of both you and Rachel for bringing Miss Ella into this world where she will have a better life than either of you did. That is generous beyond measure on so many levels. Congratulations on supporting your sister, and for making dreams come true for Ella's adoptive parents. You and Rachel can celebrate Ella's birth as a miracle as any parents would.
ReplyDeleteCongratulations to all. I hope this time is more sweet than bitter, and wish the best for everyone.
ReplyDeleteCongratulations to Rachel, Ruth, Ella and Ella's mom and dad! It sounds like the sun came out as soon as Rachel arrived in California. I am so glad that none of you still live under the menacing shadow and cold prison of Darth Daddy's protection.
ReplyDeleteMay all of you live in sunshine from now on.
There is nothing more selfless than a mother giving her child to a family that otherwise wouldn't be a family. There's nothing selfish about this, Rachael just produced a miracle for a couple who desperately wanted to.share their love and life with a child.
ReplyDeleteNot only did she help fullfill a dream but she stopped the cycle.of.oppression and abuse. Ella will grow up without thinking she inferior because she's a female. Its doubtful that her adoptive parents will have to stack their children in shelving for bunk beds or be unable to afford the basics of clothing and health care. Ella is not being groomed for a life of servitude to others, she will get her own life.
Ruth this precious blessing will be able to see how incredibly strong her momma and Auntie are and to see why they chose the best option for everyone. I hope the next weeks bring peace and healing to all.
"Not only did she help fullfill a dream but she stopped the cycle.of.oppression and abuse."
ReplyDeleteAbsolutely!
This cannot be stressed enough. Rachel...you stopped the cycle of oppression and abuse. You SAVED Ella! Well done, Young Lady.
AWESOME POINT! What a difference you have been able to make for this baby, Ruth, by leaving the abuse of your home and being there for Rachel. And now you both can proudly go forward joyful in the knowledge that Elle will have the childhood you each deserved
DeleteCongratulations!
ReplyDeleteI am glad to read that both mother and baby are doing well. Please do not let the nasty words of one poster ruin this day. You and your sister have both done your best. Hold your heads high!
Also...and please don't take this the wrong way.
ReplyDeleteA bestest galpal of ours, Beth, is a realtor, roughly Rachel's pre-baby size, and her job requires her to look good 24/7. She turned us on to second-hand clothing shopping, and we love it.
She does her shopping at our local Value World, a second hand shop where she buys excellent professional clothes for pennies on the dollar. Fab casual stuff for us too.
See if there is a similar type of store in your area...to stretch the dollars.
I want to wish Ella happy birthday! Rachel, take your time and allow yourself to heal. You are being supported by a lot of people who love you. Celebrate your life and hold your head up high.
ReplyDeleteAs an adoptee, I have huge problems with adoption in general, but it sounds like Rachel made the best decision she could. I hope the adoptive parents (ALL adoptive parents in my ideal world) are aware of how devastating adoption is for the child (Adopted babies grieve, because for them it's like their world aka mother is gone) and are prepared to offer extra support when it's needed.
ReplyDelete(((hugs)) your viewpoint can certainly not be taken lightly.
DeleteThank you for sharing it.
Thank you for stating your experience/opinion in a reasonable, non-accusatory manner.
DeleteWe've heard, through e-mail and comments, from several adoptees who regret their parent's choice. We've also heard from adoptees who are very happy. Rachel came to the decision that was best for her and what she felt was best for her child.
I know it's a very serious decision with consequences for both mother and child. Same goes for having a child and keeping it. I grew up with my biological family and it wasn't great, either. My wish is that Rachel's adoption plan will help Ellie to know her mother as much as she wants to and help out with any issues of abandonment. If you'd like to e-mail your experience and suggestions, then I will make sure Rachel reads them- but it may be a few weeks.
I'm so happy for you, Rachel and Ellie and the new couple!
ReplyDeleteRuth, Rachel, Ellie and Ellie's folks, I'm so grateful that the little one is here and that the four adults are peaceful and gathering strength. You will NEVER be out of my prayers, for as long as I live.
ReplyDeletePrayers for all involved in this, *all*. But especially for the 5 of you. God's blessings always.
MJB
As an adopted child, I am forever grateful to my birth mother for making the difficult decision to let me go. My family wasn't perfect, but I had an easier time than I would have had being raised by a single teenager/young adult. I am absolutely not saying that single young moms don't make good parents-but I ended up with medical issues that required a great deal more resources than she would have had at her disposal, and I was even fortunate enough to end up in a family with a mother who had the same issues and was able to help me get diagnosed early. I never felt out of place in my family or that my adoptive parents weren't my "real" parents. Family is what you make it.
ReplyDeleteRuth, your sister has done a very brave thing. Congratulations to all of you.
I was one of those horrible selfish teen moms who kept and raised her baby so I guess my son should curse the day I didn't hand him over to people with more money and resources than I had. He serves his country btw and is a father to two beautiful children and a great husband so I guess I didn't fuck up his life to much.
ReplyDeleteAnon.... this day is not about you and not one single person is maligning single mothers.
DeleteSo, get over yourself.
Why is your way the only/best way? I'm sure there are as many happy single mother families as there are adoptive families. Rachel did what was best for her and her child.
DeleteJudge not least ye be judged, beyotch.
Who said you were a horrible, selfish mom? You sound like you did an amazing job of raising a son. My sister's choice was her choice. I would've supported her either way. Saying that I'm proud of her doesn't mean I wouldn't be just as proud if she'd kept Ellie. The money and resources aren't the biggest issue here. The issue is that neither she, nor I, are emotionally prepared to handle raising a child- knowing this, Rachel did an admirable thing and gave her to a family who IS ready.
DeleteRelax Anonymous Teen Mom...
DeleteWell done. Just as Rachel's decision a case of "well done."
Your issue is what...precisely?
Anon,
DeletePlease note that in my original post I noted that as an adopted child *I* had an easier time being raised by older parents with more resources because of my unique situation. I have many family members who have raised beautiful children as single young mothers, and their decision was solidly supported by a strong family network...something which Rachel has, but in limited supply. Ruth did the best she could in this situation by supporting her sister in adoption because she was not able to support her sister in raising a child. Every person does what is right for them. I was trying to illustrate the point that not every adoptee is resentful of their birth parents for letting them go, because that is a worry that birth mothers often have. I was trying to reassure Rachel that she did the right thing for her child.
Anon,
DeleteIt's not about your choice, its about the right choice for Rachel. Personally, I don't know them or really care if she raises the child or gives the child up for adoption. It's all about making the right decision for that situation. Rachel is the only person capable of deciding the best choice. I've mentioned before that my husband was adopted. He had parents who loved him deeply and I like to think he turned out okay. I haven't mentioned (because it wasn't relevant) that I had a 17 year old cousin (who only about a year older than me at the time) who had a child by herself. She went to court on her own and fought for the right to raise the child herself (and won). She had no money, no education, and no job but had alot of love. She is one of the strongest people I have ever met. She got a masters, married, had other children, and raised her daughter because it was her choice. Her daughter is now a senior in college and is just as strong as driven as her mother.
It's not about adoption v. raising a child. It's about the right choice in the situation. As long as Rachel feels right about her choices, she will have my unwavering support. period.
Chip on your shoulder? Yeesh. Had Rachel decided to parent, she'd be offered just as much support as she's being offered now. She made a very, very difficult choice here and needs love and support just as much as if she had decided to raise her daughter herself.
DeleteYou made a different choice, and it sounds like perhaps didn't get the support you needed at the time. Everyone's story is different. Sounds like your son is doing great and you're proud of him. Perhaps you should go back and read a little more about Rachel's circumstances before you freak out.
Seriously, I'm not sure which blog you've been reading, but Ruth and Rachel have been pretty consistent in outlining how their parents' narcissistic ways prevented them from providing the love and support they needed growing up. Yes this led to them being deprived of things money can provide - like healthcare, appropriate clothing, reasonable social opportunities, etc. It seems that Ruth parents could have afforded these basic necessities if they were not spending their earnings on things that enhanced their status within their community (i.e. Gothardism). This is a gross emotional disconnect on the part of the parents. They lack the empathy necessary to put their childrens' basic needs ahead of their own.
DeleteI don't think that Ruth ever complained about not being able to travel the world or wear couture clothing or anything super-expensive like that. And really, the gist I got from Rachel's decision to go with adoption was that she did not feel that she could provide the loving, nuturing home that Ella deserved. They did not say that she went with adoption purely for financial reasons, but instead for emotional reasons.
Anonymous, it sounds like you were able to provide teh emotional resources necessary to raise your son into a healthy adult, which means that you were not in the same position that Rachel is in. If someone else making a different decision than you makes you upset and angry, maybe you should consider counseling to find out why you need other people's decisions to validate yours!
I can see where she is coming from. I doubt a lot of readers here understand how much women are pressured into giving up their children if they are in less than ideal circumstances. Right now I'm helping my husband fight another state from adopting out child for reasons he had no control over other than the fact that he wasn't married to the natural mother. The adoption industry is quite content to push their agenda, especially the more religious agencies. Not all mothers go into this like Rachel did with their eyes open either.
DeleteRuth,
ReplyDeleteCongrats to Rachel and to you for being a good sister/aunt. Please ignore the trolls who are more than likely your family. See? Good families have nothing to do with blood. Sometimes, blood ties are the worst to have. Your niece has a chance at a great life. That's more than she'd have trapped in the hell that is Gothardism.
I admire Rachel for making this decision. I'm sure it will be hard for her, but please urge her to use the counseling. Good luck to you both, and Ella, and the other family.
First time commenting. Congratulations to all of you and I am glad Rachel is doing what is best for her and her child. I wish Rachel all the best and send my good thoughts and prayers her way.
ReplyDeleteWhat an adorable name by the way!
I'm happy and sad for you both all at the same time. I'm an adoptive mom, married to an adopted child, and it's a very complicated thing. I'm happy Rachel is at peace with her decision--and I look forward to helping support you and her in the weeks to come. You both deserve a long season of love, peace, and prosperity. To little Ellie and her adoptive parents, may she know only love and have a beautiful life. I hope she will grow to know her amazing first mother in whatever way is most comfortable for Rachel.
ReplyDeleteMuch love,
Sunny in WI
40 years ago my wife was born and given up for adoption by a young college student. Her birth mother knew at the time that she was not prepared to raise and support her daughter and so she made the decision to place her for adoption. The pregnancy was the result of a one-night stand and at the time, her birth father left for another state. Under Wisconsin law, the father had to terminate rights as well as the mother. Since they could not locate him, the rights were terminated automatically.
ReplyDeleteWhen my wife was born, her mother had very little, if any time with her. The pregnancy went well but the birth was very difficult. Afterwards, the baby was gone and her mother was left to go on with her life. My wife was placed for adoption a couple of months later by a couple who were unable to conceive children, joining a brother who had already been adopted. She grew up knowing that she was adopted but content and grateful for the family in which she was placed. She never had the strong desire to contact her birth mother but her one wish was to thank her for giving her life.
Several years later, when my wife and I were contemplating having children, we initiated a non-identifying adoption information search to find out if there were any health issues we needed to know about. We actually learned quite a bit of her background and got some useful information. One day, however, she got a call from the agency saying that her birth mother had contacted them with some important health information and that she had signed the papers to make her identity known if my wife wanted to. She called me, shaking, almost overwhelmed. This was most unexpected!
To make a long story short, we got in contact with her birth parents and learned that they had, in fact, gotten married and raised other children. We eventually met the family and began a relationship with them that has gone extremely well. There are some very neat details that time forbids me to lay out, but one thing I wanted to highlight. When my daughter (my second child) was born, we invited my wife's birth parents to come up and meet us at the hospital. Her birth mother was able to sit in the hospital room for a long time and hold her granddaughter, the daughter of the baby she was not able to hold so many years before. Things have come full circle. Perhaps my wife couldn't have given her mother a better "thank-you" for giving her life than this.
I share this story to tell Rachel that you never really know how things will work out in the big picture. This all took place over a period of 40 years. Perhaps one day she will have some level of relationship with the child she bore. Given that this is an open adoption, the picture is a bit different than it was years ago when adoptions were sealed and information was difficult, if not impossible, to obtain. I see the hand of God in how everything came together and more importantly, when it came together. It's been a pretty amazing experience.
(part 2 of 2 to follow)
Part 2 of 2
ReplyDeleteAdoption is a complex matter and an emotional minefield, involving overlapping and sometimes conflicting interests. It is hard on the birth parents, it is hard on the adoptive parents and it never can exist outside of the realm of sacrifice. And there are always going to be second thoughts on the part of birth mothers/fathers. As it turned out, her parents got together (after another child was born) and were married.. been married ever since. Had things worked a little differently, they might have taken the baby back before the adoption was finalized. And many would say that would have been their right.
Here's the thing though - had it worked out that way, my wife would not have had some of the advantages she had, including excellent medical coverage and care when she had a brain tumor at age 18. Her home life would have been very different and her spiritual upbringing would have been pretty much nonexistent. And she wouldn't have met me, or more to the point, I wouldn't have met her and my life would have been very different. A lot emptier, from where I stand. So.. while her birth parents sacrificed something huge, that sacrifice had a very positive impact on a number of other lives.
Please know that adoptive parents who have known the pain of infertility want nothing more than to offer a loving home to the children they raise. Adoption is a matter of choice and while there are unwanted pregnancies, I don't believe there is any such thing as an unwanted child. This experience will be hard on Rachel and she's going to have a whirlwind of feelings, maybe for some time to come. I personally believe, however, that the decision she has made took courage, maturity and love. My prayer for Rachel is that she will be at peace with her decision, that she will make the most of every opportunity to learn, grow and live an excellent life.
Blessings,
Jim K.
Well said.
DeleteCongratulations to Rachel and yourself, and to the adoptive parents. I wish you all the very best. Ella is very lucky to arrive into such love all round!
ReplyDeleteAnd to Jim K. - thank you so much for sharing such an amazing and beautiful story!
Congratulations on what sounds like an amazing, powerful experience! Such an amazing thing for Rachel to do. You are both so strong!
ReplyDeleteCongratulations on Ella! Because she is in an open adoption, her parents will be able to say definitively, no questions asked, "Your mother loved you SO MUCH. She knew that she wasn't going to be able to raise you the way she wanted you to be raised. You were so important, that she had to be sure that you had the best chances in life, which she knew she couldn't give you. And WE are SO LUCKY to get to give you those opportunities, because we love you too and you are so important to us."
ReplyDeleteAdoption can have difficulties and it is important that the family be prepared for them and to work through them. But I think knowing the circumstances (even in generalities, depending on what is disclosed to Ella) will help her know that she wasn't abandoned, thrown away, or unwanted. She was and is truly loved and adored.
To Rachel and Ruth, as so many people have stated already, you are strong, brave women. While the road ahead may be hard, there is no doubt in my mind, you will walk it well.
Open adoptions can become closed in an instant. There is no legal ramifications if the adoptive parents choose to disappear.
DeleteI think the point was that the adoptive parents know something of the circumstances under which Ella was placed for adoption, not that Ella would be able to see her birth family for her entire life-though that may or may not be the case here. They will be able to answer many of the questions she has about why her birth mother made the choice she did.
DeleteMy aunt was adopted through a closed adoption process. She has no idea why she was placed for adoption. And although she was raised in a household who did not consider her their "adopted child" but "their child" and has known nothing but love and acceptance, she did (particularly as a child) have questions. Ella can grow up with assurances that she was placed in this family out of LOVE.
How old is your aunt? It if is an adoption from before the 80's it was probably not your aunt's natural mother's choice.
DeleteThe problem with the love, selfless, gift, and all the other comments...you guys don't realize how those very words are used to beat women up who later regret giving up their child. You know how Ruth talks about Fundy buzzwords? Same concept in the adoption industry, which is why a reader above reacted so negatively to things in this post and people seemingly falling over themselves to comment on how selfless and awesome Rachel is.
Knowing what I know of this situation in particular, it probably is best for Rachel to give up this child as she has a lot of growing up to do herself, but let's not kid ourselves at how much this is going to hurt for her and that she might later regret this decision. If that happens, all of a sudden she's not so selfless anymore huh? It doesn't seem like a gift anymore.
I guess I'm just sick of the adoption industry kool-aid...
"I guess I'm just sick of the adoption industry kool-aid..."
DeleteOk, I'll bite. What would you have her to do then? I have never discounted the fact that giving up a child for adoption is HARD on the birth mother. She carries a child for months, nurtures it, gives birth to it then selflessly (yes, it is a SELFLESS act) gives it to someone else to raise. But what is the other choice here? TO KILL IT. Guess what that is going to hurt to contrary to popular belief that abortion does not cause grief to the birth mother that is a bunch of CRAP.
So, when a woman gets pregnant and does not want to keep the child she has TWO equally difficult choices. KILL her baby or give that child life and let it be raised by another family who are in the position to take on that responsibility to do so. Really the bottom line is adoption while NOT perfect is more loving and selfless and a gift (life?) than the other option, right?
Does this really seem like the best place to take out your anger about adoption lucrezaborgia? Of course some adoptions don't work out the way that we would like. Some birth mothers regret their decision and some adoptive families are terrible. That does not mean that is the case for everyone. It also doesn't mean that even if she has feelings of regret in the future that she would undo it either (even if she could). Rachel was in a very difficult situation. She weighed her options and made the best choice that she felt able to make.
DeleteI like to say that life is complicated, both because it's the truth and because I think we all need reminding sometimes. My mother was adopted out of foster care when she was elementary school aged because her mother was a heroin addict who couldn't take care of her. The family who adopted her were wealthy, but also not terribly kind folks. At this point my mom has no contact with her parents and she has always wished that she could find her birth mother. My point is that her adoptive family wasn't perfect, but neither was her birth mom, and I think she was probably safer and happier with them. No matter who raised her, her childhood was complicated. That's reality, we all do the best that we can. For Rachel, that means giving her daughter to another family to raise because she doesn't feel ready. For me, it would be choice that I think many on this site would deeply disapprove of. For you, perhaps it means raising any children who result from unexpected pregnancy. I don't really think it's my place to rail about other women's choices about childbearing when there are so many factors at play. And if you want to talk about guilt and shame, I think maybe you should think about how a new mother who just gave her child up for adoption might feel after reading the things that you have posted.
It turns out that every business has a dirty underbelly. Every.single.one.
DeleteThe people who work in adoption are also in business and dirty stuff happens. However, this is NOT as story of a young woman who has been "forced" to give up her baby for adoption. This is a story of a young woman who thought about her situation and made a decision. She SOUGHT OUT resources to plan for an adoption of her child. Rachel's Choice. Her decsion. That is what CHOICE is about.
Will she have regrets? I would guess that any woman, when faced with such choices, will sometimes feel regret or sadness. Overall, from the way this situation has played out, Rachel will be able to integrate this decision into her life knowing it was the best choice for her and for Ella.
Screeching about the seamy side of the adoption industry is not appropriate right now. It is simply hurtful.
While I'm tired of the adoption kool-aide too...and was adopted by the "perfect" evangelical couple who gave me a wonderful life but also a lot of therepy bills as an adult, I also believe adoption can be a great thing. In this case I hope it turns out well. But can we stop the anti-choice crap? As an adoptee I'm damn tired of hearing "Well aren't you glad you weren't murdered?" from anti-choicers. If I were aborted I wouldn't be here to care. As it is, I wish my mom had at least had a choice--but she didn't, not even in my conception, and surely not with the adoption.
DeleteAdoption can be a great thing, it can also hurt. Same thing with parenting. And the same thing with abortion. Abortion would be my choice, were I to become pregnant today. My husband agrees. And all three choices (when actually a choice made by the woman) should be respected, just like we should respect Rachel with her choice right now.
To Dumb A*s "Anonymous" - Rachel didn't "get herself" pregnant. It takes two to create a baby. I don't even know where to start with such ignorance. Of course, if you're from the Bill Gothard School of Sex Ed, you WOULD think that.
ReplyDeleteI think it's very mature of Rachel to weigh her options and choose what she has determined is best for the baby. It is a hard decision, no doubt, and I will be thinking of her in the days ahead.
ReplyDeleteRuth...I've been reading your blog for a while now and have been moved and captivated by your story, but today was the first time that reading your post brought tears to my eyes.
ReplyDeleteYour sister sounds like an amazing young woman, as do you. What Rachel has done is a beautiful thing. Love of blessings to both of you.
I am not a troll, but I just still have a gut doubt about Ruth's legitimacy. All you good people are possibly being taken advantage of again with this new storyline. Just be careful, folks. Ruth doesn't ask for money, but she sure hints around a lot about what gifts would be "helpful". Clothes, a trip to Disney Land, a lap top to amuse Rachel, etc. To me she often sounds too much like some of the commenters on the TWOP Duggars thread. I hope I am wrong about this, but just be careful. If this Is real, then it is very tragic, but there are some holes in this story and things come across as a bit contrived sometimes.
ReplyDeleteYou are a troll and it is not of your business. Go away.
DeleteI have said this before and I will say it again. If I blogged my life story people like you would come online and say I was a fake, too. And it is no where near as bad a Ruth's: sometimes truth is stranger than fiction.
DeleteThat is why I don't find this hard to believe as well as the fact that I know several families that are into this movement. If you knew anyone personally even dabbling in this you would not find any of her story strange.
Ruth told us what would be helpful, because we ASKED, dipshit.
DeleteSo, shut up.
I have a hard time taking anything any "anonymous" says with any seriousness. If you believed in what you posted you'd not hide behind anonymity.
DeleteSo you have to resort to calling someone a dipshit. Hey, it's your mula. You are the ones deciding to donate to an anonymous person on the Internet.
DeleteHaving doubts about donating to anonymous entities does not make one a troll. But if you make this choice, then it's your prerogative. Turning my credit card number over to an unknown person or organization raises my level of skepticism. Buyer beware.
ReplyDeleteIf you're not paying for their Disneyland trip, their shopping spree at Kitson's because these are the two things "Rachel" asked for, then, YOU ARE A TROLL! You must pick them up, have them over your house, lend them your car, and buy them tickets to Disneyland Florida! Or else, you are a troll!
DeleteIt's not "DISNEYLAND" in FL it's DISNEY WORLD. Sorry just a minor pet peeve. Disneyland is in CA.
DeleteThen feel free to opt out and shut up.....Anyone with a credit card is adult enough to figure out the dangers, so your advice is unneeded and unwanted.
DeleteI said it was your perogative when it comes to donating or not, but your blind devotion to someone who you don't even know the real name of is a bit disconcerting. Your business, your money.
DeleteYeah...
DeleteUmmm...if you had read the blog from start to finish, Anonymous...perhaps you would have seen the reasons why we are not concerned about "legitimacy" here.
There is corroboration, so don't you worry your pointy little head about a thing!
Name specific examples of corroboration, please.
DeleteDo your own research, Pookie. Read the blog.
DeleteI have read it, and it is often fake sounding. I'm not the only one who has felt this way. You all enjoy the entertainment aspect of this Free Ginger fantasy or she really pulls on your heart strings,which is a shame. You ask me to do my own research as you have no corroborating evidence at all. If you did, you would not resort to such a juvenile response dear. Sorry but Ruth upped the ante when she started to increase her gifts' price tags. She claims to remain anonymous to protect the identity of her family, but then she also claims that various ATI members already know who she is. Does not add up...at all.
DeleteFree Ginger?
DeleteFree Jinger is a website started by Duggar anti-fans who hope that Jinger Duggar will one day get out of the patriarchal, quiverful Duggar family for a life much like Ruth's. I discovered this blog because Ruth used to post there. I despise the ATI/Gothard movement, but I also dislike good people being taken advantage of and I have doubts.
DeleteSnerk.
DeleteWe have an idea. Go register over at FJ immediately, and post your "concerns" there.
Just give us time to brew some coffee.
Wait for it...wait for it...
Honestly Troll, we are all grown ups here. We do not need your wagging finger to tell us not to use paypal to do a nice thing for another person. There has been enough information on this blog to give the majority of us a comfortable sense of Ruth's story being genuine. It has been brought up in the past that even if Ruth is writing fiction, she is doing so for free and we are reading it. If we all throw a few bucks her way to lavish on herself and her sister, then so be it. Take your wagging finger and stick it where the sun doesn't shine.
DeleteCongratulations to you, Rachel, Ella, and the adoptive family!
ReplyDeleteWent back as I never supported my argument for skepticism with examples. Ruth asks for hints for money, swag bucks, and gift cards no less than six times in a nine month period at the beginning of her blog. She also has a pregnant sister October of 2009, but all sisters are home/courting in February of 2010. I don't feel like looking through any more posts. You be the judge. I suppose since she is just getting gifts that she doesn't need a tax ID for being a nonprofit. Just be careful people.
ReplyDelete"I don't feel like looking through any more posts."
DeleteThen STFU, Asshole.
That's the best you can come up with as you have bought into this hook, line, and sinker. The fact that I got tired of looking through her posts does not negate the inconsistency that I pointed out or the monthly hints for gifts. Sorry, but unless you provide contrary evidence, you need to become more vigilant. Ruth leaves home at eighteen for the second time to live with family for a year, she then attends community college at some point, but what else happens during those six to eight years before she attends what is presumably a university? Can you answer that?
DeleteWe're waiting for the book, Snookums.
DeleteSo why are you here? Can you answer that?
I did above. Don't hold your breath while you wait for the book baby doll. I started reading this blog when I heard about it on anti-Duggar blogs. The Duggars make me angry. I have always seen inconsistencies in the various story lines of this blog, but I kept it to myself. I always wondered about the whole tip jar/frequent injuries/hints for gifts and money, but I thought, hey, I will give her the benefit of the doubt. But then I started to see the pattern, and it angered me, especially when it started to become more blatant. I see an attempt to gain the trust of well meaning people with a very tragic story that contains particles of truth and then to push for larger gifts. Read from beginning to end with a critical thinking perspective, and you will wonder about the pattern that emerges.
DeleteTee Hee...so this is about discrediting Ruth because you are oh so concerned that good people are being taken advantage of...my, aren't you the good samaritan!
DeleteOkay. So short of Ruth "outing" herself and her family...what would convince you of "authenticity?"
Be very careful here...
Why be very careful? Is that some kind of veiled threat? She has stated many times that her family knows of her blog and that many others do as well. How long does Ruth have to hide if all of this is authentic? Authenticity would probably best be achieved by not asking for money or by stating that the story is fictional or somewhat fictional if it is. Let me state it for you simply... asking for money on false pretenses is the wrong thing to do. End of story. My point is simply that before you go hosting online baby showers and financing Disney World trips, think about what you would tell your kid if she or he asked for your credit card to donate to a cause on the internet without knowing to whom the money was being donated to. And actually I am quite a good Samaritan.
DeleteNo Boobala...not a threat...just a friendly warning that armchair psychologists are reading...and the BS detectors are on.
DeleteYour refusal to read the entire blog is a huge red flag. Clearly, you are not here to discern the veracity of Ruth's story. You are here to discredit/harm Ruth, for reasons we have yet to suss out. That you are utterly ignorant of the purpose of the Tip Jar on blogs in general suggest that this is all about mean-spirited trolling, and not about any real concern for us'n nimrods offering up few bucks for a fascinating glimpse into religious misogyny.
Soooo...since Ruth has already stated that her story is not fictional, and since she is not requesting money and since she had taken the Tip Jar down for many months (a thing you would know if you actually read the blog)...your fears about authenticity should be assuaged. Feel better now, Punkin?
A) Paypal is safe.
B) Tip Jars are common practice.
Let me get this straight... Ruth is a liar unless she fully discloses her identity. I occasionally blog under a pseudonym and closely guard my identity. Everything I put on my blog is true, yet by this standard, but unless I use my full name, apparently I must be a liar. Why do I blog under a pseudonym? I do not have family concerns like Ruth. I do have a pretty good career in a well regarded field. I routinely turn down interviews by newspapers and magazines on a monthly basis. My field has nothing to do with this blog, but I don't talk to press. The fact I choose to not splash my views on my field all over doesn't make me a liar, but just a person who doesn't particularly like publicity.
DeleteRuth has a right to disclose or withhold whatever she wants. She is an adult and that is her perogative. If she has a tip jar, that's her business as well. No one is making you contribute. However, accusations are only that, accusations. You can call Ruth whatever you want... it doesn't make it true and it doesn't make her a liar either. It just makes you loud. and it shouldn't force Ruth into disclosing anything she prefers to keep private. I'm an adult with a doctorate. I think I'm old enough and smart enough to decide for myself without the schoolyard bully throwing around taunts to see what sticks.
K. You have yet to address the inconsistencies that I pointed out. Instead you have resorted to name calling, sarcasm, verbosity, and a shift of focus to blogs and tip jars. I have read every post of this blog...some more than once. I am aware of the tip jar's use as a part of blogs, but that does not negate the hints/requests for gifts, gift cards, and swag bucks. Pulling the tip jar temporarily is an excellent way to build credibility and trust, Sigmund. What compelled me to post was an earlier post in which the writer lamented being unable to contribute more to the Disney World fund due to difficult times. She or he had already made a contribution. This is about principles. What is mean is taking advantage of the good will of others if that is what is happening here. If your BS/arm chair psychologist detector is on, then I suggest that you use it to reconsider this blog.
DeleteGasp...it is all a conspiracy!
DeleteCould you be more transparent?
All you've pointed out is that you don't know Ruth's identity in a story that is unfolding as Ruth sees fit. That she is not meeting your timeline for info is not inconsistent. It is Ruth's prerogative to share what she will as SHE chooses. You have NO say. Do try to remember that this isn't your blog.
Essentially, we think you are a bully and we do not like or respect you. We think we can trust our own judgement as to the authenticity of Ruth's story. We are very smart, after all.
But thanks ever so much for your concern.
No one here has to justify to you what we choose to do or not do. You are not the voice of our conscience here and your role is not to warn anyone about anything. If that were your sole purpose, great, we've been warned and your warning is duly noted.
DeleteNow, move along.
If it's fictional, say so. Those at Free Jinger posture as being so critically minded, but buy into this story hook, line, and sinker. It's a crying shame. Not every reader of this blog understands that it might be fiction. Read their passionate, heart felt posts. If it is fiction, Ruth has an obligation to say so as that is the ethical thing to do. Otherwise, it is a con job. Not drinking the Kool-Aid does make one a troll. Peace.
ReplyDeleteFree Jinger has questioned Ruth for three years and every time, Ruth has explained exactly what you're asking for. She has contacted trusted people and shared enough information to be vested. Ruth has no obligation to you, me, or any reader. She has an obligation to protect herself from whatever threats she perceives. Just because you're not her best buddy or confidant doesn't make her a liar.
DeleteRuth, you need to turn off anonymous comments.
She just refuses to give up and shut up.....
DeleteSounds IFB and ATI to me....
I blog anonymously because I'm working through issues that I can't work through with my family and mentors from my previous life virtually hanging over my shoulder and smacking me every time I ask a question or voice something that's not considered appropriate. And also, shit happens. For example, my life since getting married in 2009 through today:
ReplyDeleteMy husband lost his job a month into our marriage, so I had to find a job as a full-time temp. We couldn't pay rent, so his parents chipped in. My menstrual cycle went nuts - I would not bleed one month, then bleed for up to 4 months without stopping. We didn't have the money for me to see a doctor, so I just dealt with it. A couple months later, my husband found a part-time job. Then we had The Blizzard From Hell. We couldn't leave the apartment for a week, which meant we lost a week's pay each. My car broke down the first day I was able to go back to work, totaling $1,300 of repairs that my parents generously paid for because we were dead broke living from paycheck to paycheck. Finally, I got hired as a permanent employee at my job, which was great but meant that I lost the insurance I had with the temp agency just in time for me to get REALLY sick and miss 3 days of work with a 105 fever complete with hallucinations. I almost lost my job. A month or so later, my husband lost his job the week before we were moving an hour away.
We're now in the summer of 2010 (that's right - all of the above has happened in a 6-month time period! Unbelievable?). Right after we moved, my mother-in-law was hospitalized with a 60lb tumor that had to be removed - life-threatening surgery. We dropped everything and flew to be with them, costing us over $1k for plane tickets and food, and I did not get reimbursed for time missed because my boss didn't deem it an emergency. So we lost a week's pay and all of that money, meaning we had to overdraft drastically and barely scrape by. We didn't get out of the hole until the fall, when my husband got a job with an electric company that fired him two weeks later because they didn't like him. I'd gone to the doctor when I thought we'd have the money to pay to have tests run to see what was wrong with me. I was diagnosed with polycystic ovarian syndrome and told I may never have children at the end of 2010.
In early 2011, my grandfather dropped dead unexpectedly. Then my dad was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer in his liver - inoperable, though slow-growing. Death is inevitable, but may not happen for 8-12 years. But he's still dying. At this point, my husband jobless and me working 2 hours from my parents, we both started frantically looking for work close to them so we could be with them when things start getting worse. For a few months, the only drama we deal with is marital strife and my ever-increasing PTSD episodes resulting from being sexually assaulted at 18. Ha. The ONLY drama.
In the early fall of 2011, I finally found a job 10 minutes from my parents...which means I had to drive 2 hours there and 2 hours back whenever I worked in the office. My husband found a job that required lots of travel and permits. Since we'd been living on my income alone, at this point we were burnt out and so over-drawn on our bank account that we couldn't pay bills, buy gas, or eat. So I broke down and asked for money on my blog, while he called his parents and asked them to wire money. We barely scraped by. Then, as we got stable, we had an unexpected $2.5k car repair bills for both cars, plunging us into the hole again. My parents bailed us out that time. Then my husband's grandfather died, and we flew across the country for his funeral. A couple of months later, we found a duplex near my parents and moved. And here we are.
All of that. ALL of that. In about the same time period as Ruth's so-called "unlikely" events in her life. Shit happens, people. And sometimes it happens in WAVES. If you find it unbelievable, then I envy your life.
stitchinguptheseams, I'm very sorry to hear your (entirely believable to me) story. I don't know if this is appropriate for your circumstances but there's a donation website called modestneeds.org (https://www.modestneeds.org/index.asp) that does its best to provide "emergency bridge grants" to people who are working but might otherwise go under from unexpected gas bills, car repairs, and medical emergencies.
DeleteBB.
Rachel, you and your sister are strong, brave women and I admire you both.
ReplyDeleteI'm not an adoption fan, but Rachel weighed her options and made the best decision herself. To be honest I'm relieved that Darth Daddy or Isaac can never get their hands on her.
I'm curious, but it sounded as if the couple are the opposite of Gothard? Part of me imagines Ellie growing up with a very crunchy, hippy family lol.